MIXED    GRILL 


UNIT.  OF  CALIF.  LIBRARY.  LOS  ANGF,I» 


BT 

W.    PETT    RIDGE 

AUTHOR  OF   "  HORD  KM'LT,"   F.r». 


"If  you  can't  make  up  your  n.ind  what  to 
order,"  said  the  City  waiter,  "how  about  trjing 
the  mixed  grill  ?  You  may  not  like  all  of  it,  but 
what  you  don't  care  for  you  can  easily  leare  ! " 


HODDER    AND    STOUGHTON 

NEW  YORK   AND   LONDON 


Printed  in  1913 


CONTENTS 


I 

PAOB 

THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR  1 


II 

A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER  17 


III 

THE  WONDERFUL  START  .  29 


2132209 


vi  CONTENTS 


IV 

PAGE 

SLOW  RECOVERY  44 


V 
LOOSB  CASH 57 

VI 
PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWmTER    ...       88 

VII 
A  CASB  or  SUSPICION      .         .         .        .111 

VIII 

QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE  130 


CONTENTS  vii 


IX 

PAQB 

FOREIGN  AFFAIRS    .  148 


X 

BEFORE  LUNCH 160 

XI 

COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS     .         .         .         .176 

XII 
HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET          .         .189 

XIII 

DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL        .  202 


viii  CONTENTS 


XIV 

PAGB 

THE  REST  CUBE  218 


XV 

REWARD  FOR  COURAGE  242 


I 

THIKD  PEKSON  SINGULAK 

I  MET  him  when  I  was  in  town  at  a  party, 
where  he  and  I  were  about  the  only  grown- 
ups ;  he  took  a  good  deal  of  trouble  over 
the  youngsters,  doing  conjuring  tricks  to 
amuse  them,  and  singing  songs  at  the  piano- 
forte that  made  them  laugh.  Later  in  the 
evening,  when  some  of  the  kids  had  been 
fetched,  he  and  I  became  friendly,  and  we 
had  a  most  interesting  chat.  He  agreed 
with  my  views  regarding  the  Australian  team 
of  the  previous  summer ;  he  was  in  full 
sympathy  concerning  the  difficulty  of  making 
one  pair  of  white  gloves  do  for  two  evenings. 
I  asked  for  his  name  and  address. 

"  Don't  think  I  have  a  card  to  spare,  old 
chap,"  he  said,  in  his  easy  way.  "  Daresay 
we  shall  meet  again." 

"  I'd  awfully  like  to  make  sure  of  it,"  I 
1 


2         THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

said.      "  My  mother  may  want  you  to  run 
down  to  our  place." 

'  That's    a    different    matter.      Here's    a 
pencil ;  write  it  on  something.     Or  allow  me. 
I'm  coming  back  here  at  ten,"  he  went  on. 
*  You  won't  be  gone  before  that,  I  hope  ?  ' 

"  I  must/'  I  replied.  "  My  governess  will 
call  at  half -past  nine  to  take  me  home." 

'  What  an  existence  we  men  about  town 
do  live,  to  be  sure.  Always  hurrying  from 
one  place  to  another." 

"  If  my  mother  writes  to  you,  Mr.  Cart- 
wright,"  I  said,  offering  my  hand,  "  you 
won't  fail  to  come  along." 

My  mater  is  peculiar  ;  she  has  a  fixed 
and  permanent  idea  that  any  suggestion 
coming  from  me  must  necessarily  be  over- 
ruled and  treated  as  of  no  serious  importance  ; 
I  fancy  this  comes  from  the  feeling,  often 
expressed  by  her,  that  she  has  to  be  both 
father  and  mother.  It  is  rather  a  lonely  life 
for  her,  with  only  my  governess  and  the 
servants  for  company.  I  have  heard  the 
maids  saying  more  than  once  to  each  other 
that  they  wondered  mistress  did  not  marry 
again.  "  She  could  well  afford  to,"  remarked 
cook. 


I  do  think  I  showed  cleverness  and  tact — 
something  very  like  high  diplomacy.  I  re- 
minded my  mother  of  the  parties  I  had 
attended,  and  said  I  felt  glad  there  was  no 
necessity  for  us  to  have  our  house  turned  up- 
side down  and  to  give  an  evening  in  return. 
At  lunch  time  I  referred  to  the  matter  again. 
Later  I  said  good-night  to  her,  and  once  more 
made  similar  allusion  to  the  subject. 

Cards  of  invitation  went  out  the  next 
day,  and  my  governess  started  on  the  pre- 
paration of  a  charade.  My  governess  is  not, 
if  I  may  say  so,  possessed  of  incredible  clever- 
ness, and  after  writing  out  the  charade  and 
starting  rehearsals,  she  found  she  had  for- 
gotten the  word,  and  as  no  one  could  guess 
it,  and  she  appeared  unable  to  think  of 
another,  it  became  evident  that  we  could  not 
rely  upon  this  as  a  source  of  entertainment. 
It  was  then  I  announced  to  my  mother  that 
I  had  already  sent  a  note  to  a  friend  of  mine, 
a  man  whose  equal  for  entertaining  a  party 
was  rarely  encountered,  and  that  I  expected 
a  reply  from  him  in  the  course  of  a  post  or 
two.  She  blamed  me  for  taking  the  step  with- 
out asking  permission,  and  praised  me  for  com- 
ing to  the  rescue  with  such  an  excellent  idea. 


4         THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

"  Did  you  say  Cartwright — Mr.  Cartwright, 
dear  ?  " 

'  Yes,  mother.    Do  you  know  him  ?  ' 

"  I  don't  think  I  have  met  the  name/' 

When  Mr.  Cartwright's  postcard  arrived, 
and  the  maid  put  it  by  the  side  of  my  plate, 
my  mother,  glancing  down  the  table  before 
opening  her  own  letters,  asked  quickly  from 
whom  it  had  come,  and  when  I  told  her  she 
contradicted  me,  quoting,  rather  excitedly, 
the  usual  Biblical  and  historical  cases  where 
severe  punishment  had  been  given  for  the 
telling  of  lies,  or  commendation  awarded  for 
the  statement  of  exact  truth.  I  ventured 
to  repeat  the  information,  and  passed  the 
card  to  her  as  a  document  in  support ;  she 
looked  at  it,  cried  a  little,  and  asked  me  to 
forgive  her  for  being  so  cross.  I  begged  her 
not  to  mention  it. 

"  Just  for  the  moment,"  she  explained,  "  it 
took  me  back  about  twelve  years." 

"  Before  my  time,  mother  ?  ' 

'  Yes.  You  were  not  thought  of  then. 
Does  your  friend  sign  himself  Cartwright  ?  '' 

"  My  dear  mother,  how  else  could  he  sign 
himself  ?  " 

"  Send  him  another  line,  and  say  that  your 


THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR         5 

mother  is  looking  forward  to  the  pleasure  of 
making  his  acquaintance." 

"  You  must  tell  me  how  to  spell  some  of  the 
words,"  I  said. 

The  carriage  was  to  meet  some  of  the 
guests  who  came  from  London,  and  I  went 
down  to  the  station  myself  and  arranged  with 
one  of  the  cabmen  there,  so  that  Mr.  Cart- 
wright  should  be  brought  up  alone  and 
without  being  crowded  by  the  children. 
My  mother  said  I  could  ask  him  to  stay  the 
night,  and  ordered  a  room  at  the  hotel ; 
but  he  wrote  to  say  he  had  another  engage- 
ment in  town,  and  he  desired  to  catch 
the  seven  fifty-four  back.  I  remarked  that 
this  showed  how  popular  he  was  in  society  ; 
my  mother  gave  a  word  approving  business- 
like habits.  It  seemed  exactly  like  Mr. 
Cartwright  that  he  should  arrive  in  the  cab 
at  the  precise  hour  arranged. 

"  Had  a  good  journey  \  "  I  cried,  running 
to  him  in  the  hall  as  he  was  getting  out  of 
his  thick  overcoat.  "  I  was  afraid,  somehow, 
that  you'd  back  out  of  it  at  the  last  moment." 

"  Never  disappoint  the  public,"  he  replied 
cheerfully.  "  Sometimes  I  disappoint  my- 
self, but  that  is  another  matter." 


6         THIKD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

I  asked  what  he  had  in  his  large  bag. 

"  Brought  down  a  figure  ;  thought  perhaps 
a  little  ventriloquism  would  be  a  novelty." 

"  Anything  you  do  will  be  sure  to  be  appre- 
ciated. I've  been  thinking  ever  since  I  met 
you  of  the  perfectly  splendid  way  you  enter- 
tained at  that  party." 

"  Good  man  !  "  " 

"  And  I  do  feel  it's  most  awfully  kind  of 
you  to  come  all  this  distance  just  to  oblige 
me.  Let's  go  upstairs,  shall  we,  Mr.  Cart- 
wright  ?  I'll  take  you  to  the  room  that 
used  to  be  called  the  nursery." 

He  got  rid  of  his  overcoat  there,  and,  asking 
me  for  a  pair  of  scissors,  went  carefully  with 
them  around  the  edge  of  his  shirt  cuffs.  I 
inquired  whether  he  had  been  going  out  to 
many  parties  since  I  last  saw  him :  he 
replied  that  he  had  no  right  to  complain  ; 
there  were  plenty  of  exceedingly  clever  people 
about  and  he  could  only  regard  himself  as 
cleverish.  I  exhibited  the  soldiers  that  mother 
had  given  me  for  my  birthday.  He  took 
the  blue  men,  I  took  the  red,  and  he  was 
Napoleon  and  I  Wellington.  We  sat  upon 
the  floor,  and  he  was  so  very  good  as  to  show 
me  exactly  what  happened  at  the  battle  of 


THIRD  PEESON  SINGULAR         7 

Waterloo,  an  incident  of  peculiar  interest 
to  me,  because  it  occurred  on  one  of  the 
few  dates  I  am  able  to  retain  in  my 
memory. 

"  But,  Mr.  Cartwright,  how  is  it  you  know 
so  much  about  this  ?  '  He  was  moving 
some  dominoes  up  from  the  right  to  represent 
the  approach  of  Blucher  and  the  German 
troops. 

'  Used  to  be  a  soldier  man/'  he  replied. 
'  Why  ever  didn't  you  stay  in  the  army, 
and  become  a  Field  Marshal  ?  ' 

"  By  Jove  !  "  he  cried,  "  that  would  have 
been  a  rattling  good  idea.  Wonder  I  didn't 
think  of  it  at  the  time." 

"  Is  it  too  late  now  ?  " 

"  Surely  not,"  he  answered  promptly,  "  for 
such  an  exceptionally  fortunate  person  as  I 
am.  Anyway,  so  far  as  1815  is  concerned, 
Blucher,  you  see,  had  Grouchy  to  compete 
with — this  double-six  is  Grouchy,  with  thirty- 
five  thousand  men — but  Blucher  outmarched 

him,  came  up,  and "    He  swept  the  rest 

of  his  blue  men  down  with  a  wave  of  the 
hand,  and  hummed  "  Rule,  Britannia." 

I  expressed  a  wish  that  he  had  selected 
the  reds,  so  that  he  might  have  won  ;  but  he 


8         THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

remarked  in  a  change  of  mood  that  anything 
like  success  in  any  game  would,  by  reason  of 
its  novelty,  have  given  him  serious  alarm.  I 
asked  how  the  time  was  going. 

"  Lent  my  watch  to  a  relative/'  he  men- 
tioned. "  A  rather  distant  relative  ;  but  I 
see  a  good  deal  of  him,  from  the  waist  up- 
wards." 

And  he  went  to  the  mantelpiece  to  inspect 
the  clock. 

"  Little  man/'  in  a  sharp  voice,  "  who  is 
this  ?  " 

"  That  ?     Oh,  that's  dear  mother." 

He  looked  at  it  closely,  whistled  a  tune 
softly. 

"  I  shall  have  to  catch  an  earlier  train/'  he 
announced  suddenly.  "  I'm  sorry.  You 
make  my  apologies  to  every  one,  and  say  the 
muddle  was  entirely  mine." 

''  But  you  can't,  Mr.  Cartwright.  There's 
nothing  before  the  six  minutes  to  eight." 

My  governess  came  in,  and  he  replaced  the 
frame  quickly.  My  governess  has  sometimes 
complained  that  the  house  is  lacking  in  male 
society  ;  she  took  advantage  of  this  oppor- 
tunity to  talk  with  great  vivacity,  and,  in 
tones  very  different  from  those  she  uses  in 


THIKD  PERSON  SINGULAR        9 

addressing  me,  inquired  with  affectation  con- 
cerning the  theatres  in  town,  and  entertain- 
ments generally.  Fearing  she  would  try  Mr. 
Cartwright's  patience,  as  she  has  often  tried 
mine,  I  endeavoured  to  detach  her  ;  but  the 
task  proved  one  beyond  my  abilities,  and  she 
went  on  to  submit,  with  deference,  that 
what  was  required  was  an  increase  of  merri- 
ment in  life,  a  view  that,  coming  from  her, 
amazed  me  into  silence.  Mr.  Cartwright 
answered  that  in  his  opinion  life  was  full  of 
rollicking  fun,  completely  furnished  with  joy. 
'  What  a  gift,"  cried  my  governess,  "  to  be 
able  always  to  see  the  cheerful  side !  It 
means,  of  course,  that  you  have  been  singu- 
larly free  from  anything  like  disaster.  Tell 
me,  now,  what  is  the  nearest  to  a  sad  experi- 
ence that  you  ever  had  ?  ' 

'  I  expect  we  ought  to  be  getting  down- 
stairs," he  remarked. 

In  the  hall  I  introduced  Mr.  Cartwright, 
with  pride,  to  my  mother. 

"  Charmed  to  meet  you,"  she  said,  offering 
her  hand.  My  mother  can  be  very  pleasant, 
and  if,  at  the  moment,  she  gave  signs  of 
agitation,  it  was  not  to  be  wondered  at ;  I 
myself  felt  nervous.  "  My  boy  tells  me  that 


10       THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

you  are  going  to  be  so  very  kind "  She 

appeared  unable  to  go  on  with  the  sentence. 

"  I  was  glad/'  he  said,  "  to  find  he  had 
not  forgotten  me.  It  isn't  everybody  who 
has  a  good  memory." 

"  It  isn't  everybody  who  cares  to  possess 
one,"  she  said,  with  some  spirit.  "  I  have 
heard  of  cases  where  men  forget  their  real 
names." 

"  I  have  heard  of  cases,"  he  remarked, 
"  where  women  have  been  in  a  great  hurry 
to  change  theirs." 

It  struck  me  they  were  not  hitting  it  off, 
as  one  might  say,  and  I  took  his  hand  and 
led  him  into  the  drawing-room,  where  the 
children  were  having  refreshment  between 
the  dances.  He  made  himself  at  home  with 
them  at  once,  danced  a  quadrille  with  the 
smallest  girl,  consulted  with  my  governess 
about  the  playing  of  some  accompaniments, 
and  amused  her  by  a  remark  which  he  made. 
A  man  who  could  make  my  governess  laugh 
was  a  man  capable  of  anything.  Going  to 
the  end  of  the  room,  he  took  a  figure  of  a 
boy  in  a  Tarn  o*  Shanter  cap  out  of  his 
bag,  and,  setting  it  upon  his  knee,  started 
absolutely  the  best  entertainment  I  have  seen 


THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR       11 

in  the  whole  course  of  my  existence.  We  all 
rested  on  the  floor  ;  my  mother  stood  near 
the  doorway,  but  I  was  too  much  interested 
in  Mr.  Cartwright's  performance  to  pay 
attention  to  her.  When  I  did  look  around 
once,  to  get  her  to  join  in  the  applause,  I 
found  she  was  looking  hard  at  my  friend, 
trying,  I  suppose,  to  find  out  how  he  did  it. 
He  began  to  sing,  with  the  figure  making 
absurd  interruptions  that  sent  us  all  into 
fits  of  laughter  ;  my  mother,  still  serious, 
took  a  chair.  Mr.  Cartwright  had  a  good 
voice  ;  I  don't  know  whether  you  would  call 
it  a  baritone  or  a  tenor,  but  it  was  so  pleasant 
to  listen  to  that  I  half  agreed  with  a  sensible 
girl  sitting  just  in  front  of  me,  who  said  she 
wished  the  figure  would  cease  interfering. 

'  Lor"  bless  my  soul,"  said  the  figure, 
"  thought  you'd  never  get  that  note,  Mr. 
Cartwright.  Only  just  managed  it."  And, 
in  a  confidential  way,  "  Aren't  you  a  rotten 
singer,  though  ?  Don't  you  think  so,  strictly 
between  ourselves  ?  Have  you  ever  tried 
selling  coke  ?  That  would  be  about  your 
mark,  you  know  !  'J 

We  clapped  hands  and  stamped  feet  when 
he  finished,  and  even  the  girls  declared  they 


12       THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

would  rather  hear  something  more  from  him 
than  go  on  with  the  dances.  He  looked  at 
his  watch,  and  I  called  out  to  him  that  he 
was  all  right  for  his  train  ;  he  had  a  quarter 
of  an  hour  to  spare.  He  came  back  to  the 
pianoforte.  There  he  touched  the  keys,  mak- 
ing a  selection  in  his  mind. 

"  No,  no ! JJ  cried  my  mother,  as  the 
prelude  to  a  song  began.  "  Please,  not  that 
one  ! " 

He  changed  the  air  at  once,  and  went  off 
into  an  Irish  song.  You  know  the  kind  of 
tune — one  that  makes  you  keep  on  the  move 
all  the  time  you  are  listening.  About  a  ball 
given  by  Mrs.  OTlaherty,  where  the  fiddler, 
once  started,  declined  to  stop,  and  the  couples 
kept  on  with  the  hop,  hop,  hop,  so  that  the 
dance  lasted  for  I  forget  how  long — three 
weeks,  I  think.  The  couples  gradually  be- 
came tired,  the  tune  went  slower  and  slower. 

"  Mr.  Cartwright,"  cried  my  governess,  in 
lier  high  voice,  "  you  ought  to  be  a  pro- 
fessional." 

"  I  am  a  professional,"  he  replied. 

I  rushed  like  mad  out  into  the  hall.  I 
wanted  to  get  the  opportunity  of  thinking  as 
hard  and  as  swiftly  as  possible.  There  was 


no  time  to  lose  ;  the  station  cab  stood  outside 
the  door,  waiting  for  him.  I  went  up,  three 
stairs  at  a  time,  and  opened  the  door  of  my 
room ;  it  had  been  used  as  a  temporary 
cloak-room,  and  jackets  and  hats  were  littered 
all  over  the  place.  As  I  threw  these  about — 
everything  had  been  moved  by  the  servants 
with  some  idea  of  making  elaborate  pre- 
parations— it  struck  me  it  was  not  unlike  a 
nightmare  ;  one  of  those  nightmares  where 
you  are  in  a  most  terrific  hurry,  and  every- 
thing slips  away  and  eludes  you.  I  could 
have  cried  with  annoyance  at  the  thought 
that  Mr.  Cartwright  was  now  preparing  to 
leave,  asking  for  me,  perhaps,  and  certainly 
wondering  when  and  how  he  was  to  receive 
his  fee  for  making  the  special  visit  from 
town.  In  my  excitement  I  took  the  pillow 
and  threw  it  into  the  air  ;  underneath  I 
found  my  money-box,  and  some  other  articles 
which  had  been  shifted  from  the  dressing- 
table.  I  seized  one  of  my  dumb-bells,  smashed 
the  box,  counted  out  the  money  with  trem- 
bling fingers. 

"  Four  and  three,"  I  said  to  myself.  "  I 
shall  give  him  four  shillings,  and  tell  him  I'll 
send  the  rest  on/J 


14       THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR 

I  slid  down  two  flights.  As  I  neared  the 
landing  above  the  hall  I  could  hear  that 
music  had  started  afresh  and  dancing  had 
recommenced.  I  was  engaged  to  a  rather 
sensible  girl — already  referred  to — for  the 
polka,  and  she  would  be  looking  out  for  me  ; 
but  for  the  moment  I  was  too  full  of  troubles 
of  my  own  to  consider  those  of  other  people. 
The  front  door  was  open,  and  my  mother  was 
waving  her  hand. 

"  Mr.  Cartwright !  "'  I  called  out,  running 
past  her.  "  Mr.  Cartwright !  Oh,  do  let 
me  speak  to  you  for  a  minute.5* 

"  Can't  stop,  old  boy,"  he  said  from  the 
cab.  He  seemed  rather  quiet. 

"  But  I  must  speak  to  you.  Mother,  may  I 
go  down  to  the  station  with  him  ?  Oh,  you 
are  a  good  sort,"  as  she  nodded  her  consent. 
I  jumped  in,  and  the  cab  started. 

I  felt  so  thankful  when  I  saw  in  his  hand 
an  envelope  with  some  pieces  of  gold,  and  I 
felt  proud  of  her.  I  might  have  guessed 
mother  would  know  how  to  do  the  right  thing. 

"  Little  man  !  "  He  was  looking  at  a  slip 
of  paper  with  some  pencilled  words  which  the 
envelope  also  contained.  "  Do  you  ever 
take  advice,  I  wonder  1  " 


THIRD  PERSON  SINGULAR      15 

"  Do  you,  Mr.  Cartwright  ?  " 

"  I  find  it  easier  to  give.  People  have  been 
filling  me  up  with  it  ever  since  I  was  about 
your  age,  and  some  of  it  has  been  good,  but  I 
have  always  done  exactly  as  I  pleased." 

"  I  suppose  that's  the  best  plan." 

"  No  !  "  he  replied.  "  It  has  some  advan- 
tages, but  not  many." 

"  But  aren't  you  " — I  scarcely  knew  how 
to  phrase  it — "  aren't  you  exactly  what  you 
want  to  be,  Mr.  Cartwright  ?  You're  so  good- 
humoured  and  jolly." 

He  gave  a  gasp  and  looked  at  the  window. 

"  I  don't  lose  my  temper  now,"  he  said. 
"  I  used  to,  and  the  last  time  I  lost  with  it 
everything  that  was  worth  having.  Here's 
the  advice  I  want  to  give  you.  Forget  me, 
but  try  to  remember  this.  Quarrel,  if  you 
must  quarrel,  with  the  people  who  don't 
matter.  Never  quarrel  with  your  friends. 
I  had  fierce  words  once  with  the  best  friend  a 
man  ever  had." 

'  What  was  his  name  ?  ': 

"  It  has  taken  her  twelve  years  to  forgive 
me,  and  in  that  time  I've  gone  to  pieces. 
All  just  for  the  luxury  of  five  minutes  of  wild 
talk.  Here's  the  station  ;  my  wife  will  be 


waiting  for  me  at  the  other  end,  to  take  the 
money  Fve  earned."  He  laughed  in  a  pe- 
culiar way.  "  Goodbye,  old  chap.  Not  too 
big  for  this,  are  you  ?  *'  He  placed  his  hands 
on  either  side  of  my  face.  "  I  wish — oh,  I 
wish  you  were  my  boy  !  >J 

My  mother  asked  me,  when  I  got  back  and 
told  her,  to  show  her  exactly  where  he  had 
kissed  me,  and  she  pressed  her  lips  for  some 
moments  to  the  place  on  my  forehead.  Then 
we  went  in  and  brightened  up  the  party. 


II 

A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

A  YOUTH  came  into  the  small  tobacconist's 
and  inquired,  across  the  counter,  whether 
there  happened  to  be  in  the  neighbourhood  a 
branch  establishment  of  a  well-known  firm 
(mentioned  by  name)  dealing  in  similar  goods 
and  guaranteeing  to  save  the  consumer 
thirty-three  per  cent.  He  required  the  in- 
formation, it  appeared,  because  he  contem- 
plated buying  a  packet  of  cigarettes. 

No,  said  the  proprietor  (after  he  finished 
his  speech  and  the  youth  had  gone),  not 
quite  the  limit.  Near  to  the  edge,  I  admit ; 
but  remembering  my  friend,  Mr.  Ardwick, 
I  can't  say  it's  what  you'd  call  the  highest 
possible.  It  was  a  privilege  to  know  Ard- 
wick ;  he  was,  without  any  doubt  whatso- 
ever, a  masterpiece.  I've  give  up  all  hopes 
of  ever  finding  his  equal. 
2  17 


18     A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

He  was  a  customer  here  at  the  time  Mrs. 
Ingram  had  the  shop — and  when  I  say  cus- 
tomer, of  course  I  don't  mean  that  he  ever 
handed  over  a  single  halfpenny.  Mrs.  Ingram 
had  only  been  a  widow  for  about  a  twelve- 
month, and  naturally  enough  she  liked  gentle- 
men's society  ;  and  Ardwick,  after  he  got 
his  compensation  out  of  the  County  Council 
— that,  by  the  by,  was  one  of  his  triumphs — 
he  had  nothing  else  to  do,  and  he  became 
very  much  attached  to  that  chair  what  you're 
sitting  on  now.  He'd  call  in  to  have  a  look 
at  the  morning  paper,  and  read  it  through 
from  start  to  finish  ;  later  in  the  day  he'd 
call  to  see  the  evening  paper,  and  keep  tight 
hold  of  it  till  he'd  come  to  the  name  of  the 
printers  at  the  foot  of  the  last  page.  Be- 
tween whiles  he'd  pretend  to  make  himself 
handy  at  dusting  the  counter,  and  help 
himself  to  a  pipe  of  tobacco,  out  of  the  shag- 
jar.  It  was  a  pretty  sight  to  see  old  Ardwick, 
before  he  left  of  an  evening,  talk,  as  he  rilled 
a  pocket  with  matches  out  of  the  stand,  about 
the  way  the  rich  robbed  the  poor. 

Having  caught  sight  of  Mrs.  Ingram's 
pass-book  that  she  was  sending  to  the  bank 
—he  offered  to  post  it,  and  walked  all  the 


A  BENEVOLENT    CHARACTER     19 

way  to  Lombard  Street  and  stuck  to  the 
twopence — Ardwick  makes  up  his  mind  to 
take  the  somewhat  desperate  step  of  pro- 
posing to  Mrs.  I. 

"  Very  kind  of  you/'  she  says,  "  but  I 
fancy,  Mr.  Ardwick,  you're  a  shade  too 
stingy  to  run  in  double  harness  with  me. 
Poor  Ingram,"  she  says,  "  was  always  free- 
handed with  his  money,  and  if  I  should  ever 
get  married  again  it  will  have  to  be  to  some 
one  of  a  similar  disposition.  But  thank  you 
all  the  same,"  she  says,  "  for  asking  !  " 

Ardwick  ran  across  his  friend  Kimball  in 
Downham  Road  that  evening  and  lent  him 
a  match,  and  said  Kimball  was  the  very 
party  he  wanted  to  meet.  They  had  a  long, 
confidential  sort  of  talk  together  outside  the 
fire-station,  and  they  came  to  such  high  words 
that  a  uniformed  man,  who  was  talking  to 
one  of  his  girls,  threatened  to  turn  the  hose 
on  them.  The  two  strolled  down  Kingsland 
Road  in  a  cooler  frame  of  mind,  and  when 
they  said  "  Good-night  "  at  the  canal  bridge 
Kimball  promised  to  do  the  best  for  Mr. 
Ardwick  that  lay  in  his  power.  Kimball 
explained  that  he  was  not  going  to  do  it  out 
of  friendship,  but  mainly  because  his  wife 


20     A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

had  recently  docked  his  allowance,  and,  in 
consequence,  he  felt  a  grudge  against  the 
sex  in  general. 

"  I  promise  you,"  said  Mr.  Ardwick,  still 
shaking  his  hand,  "  that  you  won't  lose  over 
the  transaction." 

"  Knowing  you  as  I  do,"  remarked  Kimball, 
"  I  quite  recognise  that  it'll  take  a  bit  of 
doing  to  make  anything  out  of  it." 

Mr.  Ardwick  was  in  the  shop,  here,  the 
following  afternoon.  Mrs.  Ingram  felt  sur- 
prised to  see  him  at  that  hour,  and  she  locks 
up  the  till  pretty  smartly  and  moves  the 
box  of  World-Famed  Twopenny  Cheroots. 

"  Something  you  said,  Mrs.  Ingram,"  he 
began,  "  has  been  worryin'  of  me,  and  I've 
called  round  to  talk  it  over.  You  seem  to 
have  got  the  impression  in  your  mind  that 
I'm,  if  anything,  a  trifle  close  with  my  money. 
I  should  like  to  convince  you,  ma'am,  that 
you  are  doing  me  an  injustice,  and  to  prove 
it  I'm  going  to  adopt  a  very  simple  plan." 

"  Have  you  brought  back  that  watch  of 
mine  I  gave  you  to  get  mended  ?  " 

"  One  topic  at  a  time,"  urged  Mr.  Ardwick. 
"  My  idea  of  benevolence  is  something  wider 
and  broader  than  that  of  most  people."  He 


A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER     21 

glanced  at  the  clock.  '  What  I  propose  to 
do  is  this.  To  the  first  customer  what  enters 
this  shop  after  half-past  three  I  shall  present 
the  sum  of  five  pound." 

"  Five  what  ?  " 

"  Five  quid/'  he  said,  in  a  resolute  sort  of 
manner.  '  The  first  one,  mind  you,  after 
half -past  three.  It  wants  two  minutes  to 
the  half-hour  now.  All  you've  got  to  do, 
ma'am,  is  to  stand  where  you  are,  and  to 
judge  whether  I'm  a  man  of  a  generous  dis- 
position or  whether  I'm  the  opposite." 

As  the  clock  turned  the  half-hour  an  old 
woman  came  in  and  put  down  four  farthings 
for  snuff  ;  when  she  had  gone  Mr.  Ardwick 
mentioned  that  he  knew  for  a  fact  that  the 
clock  was  a  trifle  fast.  An  elderly  gentleman 
in  workhouse  clothes  came  for  a  screw  of 
tobacco  ;  Mr.  Ardwick  pointed  out  to  Mrs. 
Ingram  that  he  never  proposed  to  extend  his 
offer  to  those  supported  by  the  State.  Kim- 
ball  arrived  at  twenty-five  minutes  to,  and 
Mr.  Ardwick  glared  at  him  privately  for  not 
keeping  the  appointment.  Kimball  bought  a 
box  of  wooden  matches,  and  was  leaving 
the  shop  when  Mr.  Ardwick  called  him. 

"  My  man,"  he  said,  "  your  face  and  your 


22     A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

general  appearance  suggest  you  are  not  one 
of  those  who  are  termed  favourites  of  fortune. 
Tell  me,  now,  have  you  ever  been  the  recipient, 
so  to  speak,  of  a  stroke  of  luck  ? ''' 

"  Not  to  my  knowledge,  sir,"  said  Kimball, 
answering  very  respectfully. 

"  Never  had  a  windfall  of  any  kind  ?  No 
sudden  descent  of  manna  from  above  ?  Very 
well,  then."  Mr.  Ardwick  took  out  his 
cheque-book  and  asked  Mrs.  I.  for  pen  and 
ink.  "Be  so  kind  as  to  give  me  your  full 
name,  and  it  will  be  my  pleasure  to  hand 
you  over  a  handsome  gift.  I  hope  you 
will  lay  out  the  sum  to  the  best  advantage, 
and  I  trust  it  may  prove  a  turning-point,  a 
junction  as  it  were,  in  your  life  !  5J 

Mr.  Ardwick  was  talking  across  the  counter 
to  Mrs.  Ingram  about  the  pleasures  of  ex- 
ercising charity,  and  the  duty  of  those  who 
possessed  riches  towards  them  who  had  none, 
when  a  most  horrible  idea  seemed  to  occur 
to  him,  and  he  darted  out  of  the  shop  like 
a  streak  of  lightning.  In  Kingsland  Road  he 
just  caught  a  motor-omnibus  that  was  going 
towards  the  City,  and  on  the  way  through 
Shoreditch  he  complained,  whilst  he  mopped 
his  forehead,  because  the  conductor  did  not 


A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER     23 

make  the  bus  go  quicker.  Near  Cornhill 
there  was  a  block  of  traffic,  and  he  slipped 
down  and  ran  for  his  life.  As  he  came  near 
the  bank  he  caught  sight  of  Kimball  descend- 
ing the  steps.  Mr.  Ardwick  threw  himself, 
exhausted,  across  a  dustbin  on  the  edge  of 
the  pavement,  and  burst  into  tears. 

He  mentioned  to  me  afterwards  that  it  was 
not  so  much  the  loss  of  the  money  that 
affected  him  as  the  knowledge  that  a  fellow- 
man  had  broke  his  word.  That  was  what 
upset  Mr.  Ardwick.  He  tried  to  explain  all 
this  at  the  time  to  a  City  constable. 

'  You  get  away  home,"  advised  the  City 
constable,  "  and  try  to  sleep  it  off.  That's 
your  best  plan.  Unless  you  want  me  to 
take  you  down  to  Cloak  Lane  for  the  night." 

Mr.  Ardwick  felt  very  much  hurt  at  this 
insinuation  on  his  character,  because,  partly 
on  account  of  his  principles  and  partly  because 
he  hated  giving  money  away,  he  was  strict 
teetotal ;  but  the  remark  furnished  him  with 
an  idea,  and  he  acted  on  it  without  a  moment's 
delay.  He  returned  to  Dalston  Junction,  and 
there,  by  great  good  luck,  he  found  Kimball 
— Kimball  smoking  a  big  cigar  and  trying  to 
persuade  a  railway-porter  to  accept  one. 


24     A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

Mr.  Ardwick  went  up  to  him  and  took  the 
cigar. 

"  I  congratulate  you  'eartily,"  he  said, 
slapping  Kimball  on  the  shoulder  in  a  jolly 
sort  of  way.  :t  There  isn't  many  that  could 
brag  of  having  done  Samuel  Ardwick  in  the 
eye,  but  I  always  admit  it  when  I  come 
across  my  superior.  There's  only  one  favour 
I  want  you  to  grant/' 

'  You  gave  me  the  cheque,  and  IVe  got  a 
perfect  right  to  it.  What  we  may  have 
agreed  upon  beforehand  has  nothing  what- 
ever to  do  with  the  matter." 

"  All  I  ask  you  to  do,"  went  on  Mr.  Ard- 
wick, "  is  to  allow  me  to  celebrate  the  occasion 
by  inviting  you  to  have  a  little  snack  at  a 
restaurant  close  by.  A  meal,  I  mean.  A 
proper  dinner.  Food,  and  a  bottle  of  some- 
thing with  it." 

"  This  don't  sound  like  you,"  remarked 
Kimball. 

"I  shan't  make  the  offer  twice,"  warned 
Mr.  Ardwick. 

Kimball  strolled  along  with  him  rather 
reluctantly  and  somewhat  suspiciously  up 
Stoke  Newington  Road.  Mr.  Ardwick  stopped 
outside  an  Italian  eating-place,  had  a  good 


A  BENEVOLENT  CHAEACTEE     25 

look  at  the  prices  of  everything  in  a  brass 
frame  near  the  doorway,  gave  a  deep  sigh, 
and  led  the  way  in. 

It  was  here  that,  in  my  opinion,  Mr.  A. 
made  a  blunder  ;  he  admitted  himself  to  me 
later  that  he  was  not  acquainted  with  the 
quality  of  the  wine  or  the  capacity  of  his 
friend  Kimball.  The  foreign  waiter,  being 
told  confidentially  that  price  was  an  object, 
recommended  a  quarter-bottle  of  what  he 
called  Vin  Ordinaire  at  sevenpence.  It  was 
only  when  Kimball  was  starting  on  the 
fourth  of  these  that  Mr.  Ardwick  discovered 
he  could  have  sent  out  for  a  full  bottle  at  the 
cost  of  one-and-nine.  He  himself  took  no 
food  and  no  beverage  of  any  description,  but 
just  sat  back,  smoking  the  cigar,  totting 
up  the  expenses,  and  keeping  a  watchful  eye 
on  his  guest. 

"  Is  it  a  fruity  wine  ?  "  asked  Mr.  Ardwick, 
when  the  last  quarter-bottle  was  opened. 

Kimball  lifted  up  his  glass. 

"  I  shouldn't  like  to  say  there  was  much 
of  that  about  it,"  he  answered.  "  As  a 
matter  of  fact,  it  doesn't  taste  of  anything." 

"  But  surely  it  goes  to  your  head  !  " 
'  It  goes  to  my  head,"  agreed  Kimball, 


26     A  BENEVOLENT  CHARACTER 

"  because  I  put  it  there  ;  but  it  don't  seem 
to  have  any  effect  on  the  brain.  Sheer  waste 
of  my  time,  so  far  as  I  can  gather." 

"  Look  here  ! 'Jl  said  Mr.  Ardwick,  with  a 
determined  effort.  "  I  want  to  have  a  quiet 
talk  with  you.  I've  stood  this  very  excellent 
meal,  and  it's  only  right  you  should  do  some- 
thing for  me  in  return." 

"  Anything  within  reason." 

"  I'm  not  the  man  to  ask  you  to  do  any- 
thing else.  You've  had  your  little  joke  at 
my  expense  and  now  my  suggestion  is  that 
you  hand  across  the  five  pounds,  and  we'll 
both  have  a  good  laugh  over  the  transaction. 
I  admit  you  played  your  part  uncommonly 
well.  You  ran  it  rather  close,  and  if  you'd 
been  a  minute  or  so  later,  my  lad,  you'd 
have  found  the  bank  closed,  and  then  I 
could  have  stopped  payment." 

"I  got  there,"  said  Kimball,  "at  one 
minute  past  four,  and  the  doors  were  shut !  'J 

Mr.  Ardwick  settled  up,  and  told  Kimball 
exactly  what  he  thought  of  him. 

"  Imposing  on  generosity,"  he  said  heatedly 
— "  that's  your  game  ! '' 

He  went  off  home  to  write  a  letter  to  the 
bank,  and  to  recognise  that  matters  had, 


after  all,  turned  out  better  than  he  might 
have  expected.  In  the  evening  he  made  his 
usual  call  here,  dressed  up  special,  and 
evidently  anxious  to  find  out  what  sort  of  an 
effect  his  display  of  benevolence  had  made 
on  Mrs.  I. 

"  I  can't  help  seeing,"  she  said  confiden- 
tially, taking  the  evening  paper  from  another 
customer  and  handing  it  to  Mr.  Ardwick, 
"  that  I've,  all  along,  done  you  an  injustice. 
I  liked  your  conversation,  and  I  had  no 
fault  to  find  with  your  general  behaviour  ; 
but  somehow  I  had  an  idea  that  you  rather 
over-did  the  economical." 

"  If  I  come  across  a  really  deserving  case," 
remarked  Mr.  Ardwick  modestly,  "I'm  pre- 
pared to  give  away  my  last  penny.  I  don't 
say  I  scatter  my  money  broadcast,  but  when 
I  do  give  I  give  liberally  and  with  both 
hands." 

"  I  was  telling  the  poor  man,"  said  Mrs. 
Ingram,  "  that  he  ought  to  feel  very  much 
indebted  to  you.  You've  stood  him  on  his 
feet,  so  to  speak,  and,  whatever  it  may  lead 
to,  he's  only  got  you  to  thank." 

"  Don't  make  too  much  of  a  mere  trifle." 

"  I  advised  him  to  put  half  of  it  away  in 


the  Post  Office,  and  use  the  other  half  to 
rig  himself  out  in  a  new  suit  and  look  re- 
spectable." 

"  Excuse  me,"  interrupted  Mr.  Ardwick, 
rather  anxiously,  "  but  when  did  you  say  all 
this  to  him  ?  " 

"  About  a  hour  or  so  ago,"  she  replied, 
"  when  he  came  in  and  asked  me  to  change 
the  cheque  for  him.  Knowing  all  the  cir- 
cumstances, of  course  I  didn't  hesitate  a 
single  moment !  " 

I  was  doing  a  bit  of  debt-collecting  at  the 
time,  said  the  proprietor  of  the  tobacconist's 
shop,  and  that  was  how  I  became  acquainted 
with  Mrs.  Ingram.  She  felt  grateful  over 
my  success  with  what  was  undoubtedly  a 
tough  job,  and  one  word  led  to  another,  and 
eventually  I  consented  to  propose  to  her. 
She'll  be  down  directly.  Wait  and  have  a 
glance  at  her,  and  tell  me  if  you  think  I 
acted  wisely. 


Ill 

THE  WONDERFUL  START 

DAZED  by  sudden  introduction  to  a  distin- 
guished company,  lie  glanced  eagerly  and 
confusedly  around  in  the  hope  of  finding 
some  one  who  would  give  him  a  smile  of  en- 
couragement. The  most  distinguished  of  all, 
seated  opposite  to  him,  acknowledged  his  bow 
and  gave  the  order  that  a  chair  should  be 
offered,  and  this  was  accepted. 

Conversation  did  not  immediately  turn 
upon  his  affairs,  and  the  delay  enabled  him 
to  lean  back  and  compose  his  mind  ;  pre- 
sently, no  doubt,  the  others  would  switch 
discussion  to  the  subject  which  excused  his 
presence  in  this  magnificent  building.  It  had 
a  strong  scent  of  newness,  a  suggestion  of  the 
slate  pencils  used  for  the  purpose  of  calcula- 
tions in  his  early  youth,  calculations  which 
were  so  often  incorrect  that  he  remembered 

29 


30        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

how  frequently  in  setting  down  a  total  he 
instinctively  rubbed  it  out,  under  the  im- 
pression that  whatever  he  had  written  must 
be  wrong.  He  did  not  become  really  clever 
in  the  management  of  figures  until  his  London 
life  began  in  Tooley  Street,  and  that  seemed 
a  good  many  centuries  ago.  What  was  it, 
'80  or  '81  ?  February  of  '80  it  must  have 
been ;  early  part  of  February.  Thirty- 
two  years,  that  made  him  forty-six.  He 
could  remember  the  start  quite  clearly. 

As  he  stepped  out  into  a  wooden  shed 
that  was  called  London  Bridge  Station,  a 
matronly  woman,  to  whom  he  gave  assistance 
in  finding  an  outside  porter  for  her  deal  box, 
referred  to  him  in  a  sentence  of  thanks  as  a 
smart  little  nipper,  and  this,  an  auspicious 
compliment,  sent  him  to  the  barrier  and 
out  into  Railway  Approach  with  a  good 
conceit  of  himself.  In  the  telegraph-ofnce  he 
wrote  on  a  form  in  a  confident  way,  as  though 
he  had  been  used  all  his  life  to  the  dispatching 
of  telegrams : 

"  Arrived  safely.  Good  journey.  Best 
love. — BEN." 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        31 

The  clerk  on  the  other  side  of  the  counter 
mentioned  that  it  would  stand  a  better 
chance  of  reaching  its  destination  if  the  name 
and  address  of  the  recipient  were  rilled  in. 
This  constituted  something  in  the  nature  of  a 
check,  and  in  the  adjoining  parcels-office  he 
endeavoured  to  apply  a  remedy  by  knocking 
peremptorily  with  twopence  and  demanding 
instant  attention. 

"  In  a  hurry  ?  "  asked  the  porter,  nettled. 
"  Because,  if  so,  you'd  better  wait  till  your 
hurry's  over.  Bad  enough  to  be  ordered 
about  by  grown-ups ;  I'm  certainly  not 
going  to  be  dictated  to  by  slips  of  boys. 
D'you  hear  ?  " 

He  urged  that  no  harm  had  been  intended. 

'  What  you  intend/'  said  the  porter,  giving 
a  snatch  at  the  parcel,  "  and  what  you  do 
are  very  different  things.  Now  then,  don't 
stand  there  all  day  gazing !  What  d'you 
want  me  to  do  with  this  ?  Boil  it,  or 
what  *  " 

The  lad  answered,  with  respect,  that  he 
desired  it  should  be  sent  by  Parcels  Delivery 
to  the  Peckham  address  given  on  the  label ; 
the  man  inspected  very  carefully,  in  the 
evident  hope  of  discovering  some  flaw  or 


32        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

defect  that  would  enable  him  to  decline  the 
commission.  He  had  to  be  content  with 
throwing  it,  with  a  whirl,  through  the  air 
into  a  corner,  snatching  at  the  twopence  and 
giving  a  curt  order,  "  Now  be  off  with  you  !  3i 
To  the  question  concerning  the  whereabouts 
of  Tooley  Street,  he  replied  that  if  the  lad 
could  fly,  he  might  reach  it  in  two  seconds  ; 
assuming  him  not  to  be  so  exceptionally 
gifted,  the  time  could  be  given  as  two  minutes. 
'  Thank  you,  very  much  indeed,  sir,  for 
all  your  kindness." 

The  man  looked  at  him  narrowly,  to  make 
certain  that  this  remark  was  not  intended 
as  chaff,  and,  reassured  on  the  point,  came 
out  of  the  office  and  walked  with  him  down 
the  slope,  where  they  faced  a  large  corner 
public-house  plastered  over  with  orange  bills 
and,  above,  a  banner  which  said  imperatively 
"  Vote  for  Clarke." 

The  porter  explained  the  meaning  of  all 
this,  and  made  two  prophecies :  first,  that 
Dizzy  would,  as  a  result  of  the  day's  election, 
get  a  valentine;  second,  that  Gladstone 
might  be  taken  down  a  notch.  Returning 
confidence  for  confidence,  the  lad  told  him 
this  was  his  first  day  in  London,  and  his 


THE  WONDEEFUL  START        33 

father  had  urged  him  to  be  honest  and  straight. 
They  parted  on  excellent  terms. 

The  incident  proved  a  faithful  sample  of 
the  happenings  of  a  wonderful  day.  On  the 
first  floor  of  the  number  which  he  held  in 
his  memory,  the  surroundings  were  so  much 
at  variance  with  early  anticipations  that 
he  feared  he  had  made  some  disastrous 
blunder,  until  Mr.  Cruttwell,  head  of  the 
firm,  slapped  him  joyously  on  the  shoulder, 
declaring  he  had  arrived  just  in  time  to  see 
the  fun.  The  office  was  rather  dark,  because 
the  windows  were  covered  with  election  bills, 
but  gas  flared  generously.  Everybody,  from 
the  head  down  to  a  clerk  only  slightly  older 
than  the  new  lad,  smoked  pipes  or  cigars  ; 
some  appeared  inclined  to  smoke  both  at 
once.  The  head,  raising  his  voice  that  it 
might  be  heard  above  the  clatter,  introduced 
him,  and  six  men  came  over  at  once,  saying  : 

"  How  do,  young  Stansfield  ?  Wish  you 
could  manage  this  for  me." 

And  the  lad  found  himself  in  the  very 
thick  of  it,  so  to  speak,  without  a  moment's 
delay.  Cheering  from  the  street  below  came 
now  and  again,  startling  him  and  causing  him 
to  rush  to  the  windows  in  the  endeavour  to 
3 


34        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

ascertain  the  cause ;  gentlemen  with  silk 
hats  at  the  backs  of  their  heads  ran  up  two 
stairs  at  a  time  to  ask  how  things  were 
going,  or  to  give  news  of  how  things  were 
going,  bringing  tasks  or  appealing  for  them, 
roaring  suggestions  or  shouting  advice,  talking 
privately  in  one  corner  and  illustrating  their 
arguments  by  pencilling  figures  on  the  wall- 
paper. 

At  eleven  o'clock  Mr.  Cruttwell  took  him 
out,  and,  carrying  a  square  brown-paper 
parcel  of  cards,  he  made  the  acquaintance  of 
Southwark  under  lively  circumstances.  Mr. 
Cruttwell  did  not  seem  to  know  exactly  what 
to  be  doing,  but  his  plan  was  never  to  cease 
doing  something,  and  he  constantly  appealed 
to  the  lad. 

"  Come  along,  come  along,  come  along  ! 
Don't  lag,  my  boy,  don't  lag  !  "  or,  "  Now 
then,  slowcoach  !  Have  you  gone  to  sleep 
again  ?  Keep  your  eyes  open,  for  goodness* 
sake,  or  we  shall  never  win  !  " 

A  most  unfair  suggestion,  for  the  only 
founded  charge  against  young  Stansfield  was 
that  he  stared  at  everything  going  on  ;  shops 
arrested  him,  sandwichmen  proved  an  effec- 
tive bar  to  progress.  In  waiting  outside  a 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        35 

leather  merchant's  in  St.  Thomas's  Street, 
a  detachment  of  Borough  youths  of  about 
his  own  age  came  up  with  a  threatening  air. 

"  Who  you  for  ?  "  they  demanded  men- 
acingly. 

"  Find  out !  "  he  answered. 

'*  Want  your  'ead  punched  ?  '' 

"  Yes  !  "  he  said. 

Disinclined  to  comply  with  any  request, 
they  conferred  amongst  themselves. 

"  What's  inside  that  parcel  ?  What's  inside 
that  parcel  ?  Going  to  tell  us,  or  ain't  you  ?  ' 

He  began  to  feel  terrified,  and  looked 
around  for  assistance.  The  people  who  were 
standing  by  did  not  seem  to  have  any  pre- 
judices on  one  side  or  the  other,  and  he  was 
preparing  to  use  his  left  arm  as  a  guard  and 
the  parcel  in  his  right  hand  as  a  weapon, 
when  Mr.  Cruttwell  fortunately  reappeared. 
The  lads  scampered  off. 

"  You're  a  plucky  little  chap,"  said  Mr. 
Cruttwell,  in  good  humour  after  his  call  and 
slightly  more  rosy  in  complexion.  "  Some 
country  youngsters  would  have  been  afraid." 

He  proceeded  to  give  a  short  political  lec- 
ture as  they  strolled  back  under  the  arches 
to  Tooley  Street,  asserting  that  the  manner 


36        THE  WONDEKFUL  START 

in  which  Stansfield  had  tackled  the 
Borough  lads  should  be  the  method  adopted 
by  Great  Britain  in  dealing  with  Russia. 
Prince  Gortschakoff  might  have  counted  him- 
self clever,  and  was,  no  doubt,  uncommonly 
wily,  but  we,  too,  had  men  just  as  ingenious, 
and  this  Gortschy  had  discovered,  and  others 
would  discover  to  their  cost.  Mr.  Cruttwell 
began  to  use  oratorical  gesture,  and  in  one 
fine  sweep  of  the  arm  sent  the  lad's  bowler 
hat  into  the  roadway,  restoring  it  with  an 
apology  that  made  the  owner  feel  on  a  manly 
level  with  the  best. 

"  Don't  go  out  to  lunch,"  said  Mr.  Crutt- 
well, "  in  case  anything  crops  up.  Send  for 
it,  and  charge  it  to  the  office  !  " 

He  awoke  from  these  thoughts  on  hearing 
his  name  mentioned,  but  some  one  inter- 
rupted with  a  deferential,  "  Will  you  excuse 

me,  my  lord,  if  I "    Leaning  back,  he 

went  on  with  the  glance  over  his  shoulder 
at  the  past. 

Easy  to  recall  everything  that  stood  on 
the  table  at  the  lunch  in  Tooley  Street,  partly 
because  he  assisted  at  the  preparation.  Act- 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        37 

ing  under  orders,  he  spread  the  sheets  of  a 
financial  paper  and,  still  obeying  commands, 
accepted  a  sovereign,  and,  scurrying  across 
the  roadway,  went  up  the  steps,  bolted 
over  the  Approach  (with  a  dreadful  fear 
that  he  might  be  run  down  by  twenty  omni- 
buses), and  at  the  hotel  made  cautious  pur- 
chases, rejecting  so  many  cold  fowls  that  the 
lady  who  served  him  called  the  manageress, 
demanding  whether,  as  she  had  always 
understood,  the  birds  were  to  be  sold  in 
chronological  order,  or  whether  a  customer 
was  to  be  permitted  to  make  selection. 
The  manageress  decided  that  both  parties 
to  the  contest  were  right,  and  encouraged 
the  young  woman  with  the  reminder  that, 
in  view  of  the  pressure  of  the  day,  everything 
that  could  be  called  eatable  would  probably 
be  sold  out  before  closing  time. 

So  young  Stansfield,  taking  the  parcels 
and  dear  life  in  his  hands,  made  once  more 
the  risky  journey  across  the  Approach.  This 
over,  the  skating  horses  on  the  descent  of 
Tooley  Street  gave  him  no  terrors. 

"  No,  no,  DO  !  "  whispered  one  of  the 
other  juniors.  '  You  mustn't  sit  down  with 
them,  my  rustic  friend.  We  shall  have  to 


38        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

wait  on  them,  and  what  they  leave  we — — ' 
He  gave  the  remainder  of  the  sentence  in 
pantomime. 

"  Then  I  hope  they  won't  overdo  it,"  re- 
marked the  lad.  "  I  begin  to  feel  peckish/' 

As  lunch  proceeded,  the  juniors  cutting 
bread  and  filling  glasses,  men  wearing  favours 
who  looked  in  at  the  doorway,  crying,  "  Hallo, 
hallo  !  Feeding-time  at  the  Zoo,  eh  ?  "  were 
immediately  invited  to  take  knife  and  fork 
and  help  themselves,  which  they  did  with 
such  enthusiasm  that  the  juniors  were  near 
to  the  edge  of  tears,  when  Mr.  Cruttwell  stood 
up  and  said : 

"  Now,  then,  let's  bustle  about,  or  we 
shan't  get  our  man  in  !  *J 

The  three  clerks  under  twenty  appeared  to 
have  some  idea  of  compelling  young  Stans- 
field  to  attend  upon  them,  but  he  pointed  out 
that  this  arrangement  would  leave  nobody 
to  wait  upon  him,  and  he  expressed  a  strong 
and  decided  preference  for  the  principle  of 
share  and  share  alike.  They  gave  in,  robbing 
the  act  of  some  of  its  grace  by  pointing  out 
that  this  must  on  no  account  be  taken  as  a 
precedent,  and  that  his  good  fortune  in 
beginning  London  life  on  such  a  wonderful 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        39 

day  did  not  mean  that  his  business  career 
would  consist  entirely  of  a  beanfeast. 

They  also  introduced  him,  rather  severely, 
to  certain  table  manners  which  he  had  not 
hitherto  met,  and  he  found  himself  greatly 
obstructed  by  a  rule  which  prevented  one 
from  holding  the  leg  of  a  fowl  and  dispensing 
with  the  assistance  of  a  knife.  The  remains 
of  a  very  fine  old  Stilton  struck  him  as  pos- 
sessing a  flavour  entirely  different  from  the 
American  or  Dutch  to  which  he  had  been 
accustomed  at  home ;  the  drawback  was 
that  you  could  not  eat  much  of  it. 

"  Do  you  smoke,  Stansfield  ?  ' 

"I'm  not  a  slave  to  it !  *J 

'  You  soon  will  be/*  they  prophesied. 
"  Find  the  matches  for  us." 

As  they  puffed  at  their  pipes,  he  read  the 
financial  journal  spread  upon  the  table, 
beginning  with  a  casual  attention,  presently 
becoming  interested.  One  or  two  points 
were  dim  to  him,  and  he  asked  questions,  but 
the  others  were  either  not  completely  in- 
formed, or  they  preferred  to  reserve  the 
knowledge  for  private  use,  and  they  failed  to 
explain  to  him  why,  if  the  newspaper  people 
were  aware  that  certain  investments  could 


40        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

not  fail  to  be  remunerative,  the  newspaper 
people  gave  the  valuable  tip  away,  instead  of 
reserving  it  for  their  own  personal  benefit. 

The  three  appeared  more  at  home  on  another 
question,  and  he,  having  once  drawn  Silvio 
in  a  Derby  sweepstake,  could  contribute 
something  to  this  discussion.  They  told  him 
a  useful  man  was  always  to  be  found  near 
the  cab-rank  in  front  of  the  Brighton  Com- 
pany's station,  to  whom  a  shilling  or  more 
could  be  safely  confided. 

The  talk  on  this  subject  became  animated  ; 
they  gave  the  new  lad  some  absolutely  safe 
and  certain  news  concerning  a  horse  running 
in  the  next  month,  news  which  had  come 
to  them  in  a  roundabout  way,  but  starting, 
so  they  declared,  from  the  brother  of  a  jockey 
whose  name  they  mentioned  with  bated 
breath.  Young  Stansfield  suggested  it  would 
look  well  if  they  were  to  affect  some  engage- 
ment on  business  affairs  ;  but  the  rest  said, 
"  Not  for  Joe !  "  They,  however,  agreed,  very 
handsomely,  that  he  could  do  as  he  pleased. 

He  cleared  the  table,  filled  waste-paper 
baskets  with  remnants,  set  desks  in  order, 
placed  empty  bottles  out  of  the  way.  Thus 
he  proved  the  only  one  who  was  giving  any 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        41 

signs  of  work  when  Mr.  Cruttwell  returned, 
in  a  state  of  some  disturbance  because  of 
news  he  had  received  concerning  the  prospects 
of  one  of  the  two  opposition  candidates.  Mr. 
Cruttwell  distributed  blame  on  the  others 
by  praising  young  Stansfield. 

'  This  lad  is  going  to  get  on  in  the  world  !  " 
he  asserted  emphatically.  "  I  flatter  myself 
I'm  a  judge  of  character,  and  I  don't  have  to 
look  twice  at  anybody.  Simply  disgraceful 
the  way  you  youngsters  loaf  about  and  take 
no  interest  in  anything  but  how  to  avoid 
work.  Now  then,  set  to,  all  of  you,  and 
follow  his  example.  No  wonder  trade's  so 
bad.  I  shall  be  in  again  directly,  and  if  I 

find  any  of  you  lolling  about  I  shall  simply " 

They  reproved  the  lad  severely  for  marring 
an  otherwise  perfect  day,  and  he  hastened 
to  inform  them  he  had  no  more  consider- 
able taste  for  labour  than  that  which  they 
possessed  ;  his  only  idea  had  been  to  avoid, 
by  use  of  ingenuity,  the  disaster  that  had 
fallen  upon  them.  He  knew  as  well  as  they 
that  nothing  was  to  be  gained  by  a  too 
persistent  attention  to  the  desk,  and  he 
hoped  time  would  succeed  in  persuading 
them  he  was  worthy  of  their  companionship. 


42        THE  WONDERFUL  START 

They  gave  in  reluctantly,  and  before  the 
seniors  returned  had  given  him  some  useful 
hints,  which  he  stored  carefully  in  the  recesses 
of  his  brain. 

The  arrangement  made  by  his  mother  was 
that  he  should  reach  Peckham  by  seven 
o'clock,  and  he  felt  anxious  to  do  this,  for 
Aunt  Mabel  was  a  cheery,  irresponsible 
person  who,  on  her  rare  visits  to  the  country, 
always  brought  a  budget  of  amusing  songs 
and  some  excellent  riddles ;  there  seemed 
good  reason  to  hope  that  life  at  Peckham 
would  be  free  from  the  close  and  rigid 
supervision  exercised  at  home.  But  the 
others  said  the  announcement  of  the  election 
result  would  be  the  event  of  a  lifetime, 
something  that  might  never  happen  again, 
and  he  stayed  on  till  a  late  hour,  enjoying 
the  noisy  crowds  and  the  turbulent  rushes, 
and  responding  to  shouted  appeals  for  three 
cheers.  When  the  poll  was  declared,  he 
joined  in  the  exultant  shrieks  of  triumph, 
and  a  stout  old  lady  from  Long  Lane  insisted 
upon  teaching  him  an  Irish  jig.  Mr.  Crutt- 
well  found  him,  shook  hands  heartily,  and 
told  him  the  nation  was  perfectly  sound  at 
heart. 


THE  WONDERFUL  START        4$ 

As  he  went  in  the  direction  of  Peckham 
he  found  in  his  pocket  the  change  given  at 
the  International  Hotel.  It  had  not  been 
asked  for,  it  would  probably  not  now  be 
asked  for.  Before  reaching  Bricklayers'  Arms 
he  came  to  the  decision  to  invest  a  part,  and 
to  back  Vendetta.  A  wonderful  beginning  I 

His  name  was  again  mentioned.  He  stood 
up,  gripping  the  bar  in  front  of  him. 

"Benjamin  Stansfield,"  recited  the  clerk, 
seated  below  the  judge,  "  you  are  charged  for 
that  you — feloniously  and  fraudulently— 
A  rumble  of  words.  "  How  say  you,  Ben- 
jamin Stansfield :  are  you  guilty,  or  not 
guilty  ?  " 

"  Guilty  !  "  he  replied. 


IV 
SLOW  RECOVERY 

MRS.  MAECHANT  offered  a  pointed  remark 
•concerning  the  indolent  habits  of  London 
folk  as  compared  with  the  early  rising  and 
the  continuous  industry  shown  by  people 
living  in  the  country.  Called  by  a  boy  who 
required  a  weekly  journal,  she,  without 
leaving  the  pavement,  instructed  him  to 
look  over  the  contents  of  the  counter  and 
help  himself,  adding  a  warning  that  sweets 
were  not  to  be  touched. 

"  I  don't  want  to  miss  nothing"  she  re- 
marked. 

Her  neighbour,  absorbed  in  the  subject 
previously  under  discussion,  replied  to  the 
•effect  that  there  was  not  so  much  going  on 
in  Hayford  that  one  could  afford  to  evade 
incident. 

"  I  see  her  blind  move,"  screamed  a  small 

44 


SLOW  RECOVERY  45 

child   excitedly.     "  I   did !     I  see    it  move, 
quite  plain." 

Her  elders  were  giving  reproof,  and  pointing; 
out  the  risks  incurred  by  children  who  told 
stories,  when  the  green  Venetians  of  the 
first-floor  room  at  the  Windmill  Inn  went, 
up.  Interest  in  the  one  street  of  the  village 
at  once  reawakened.  A  message  was  sent 
to  the  forge,  and  Sprules,  the  blacksmith,, 
strolled  out,  drinking  tea  from  a  saucer.  A 
tall  girl  stepped  from  the  porch  of  the  inn 
and  whistled  several  times,  called  the  word 
"  Fuzzy  !  '''  in  varying  tones  of  insistence 
and  appeal.  Banks,  the  young  grocer  and 
draper,  peered  through  his  window  over 
columns  of  flannel,  and  then  came  to  the 
doorway,  where,  acknowledging  her  salu- 
tation, he  bowed  and  blushed. 

"  Morning,  everybody,"  she  said.  "  Any 
news  ?  Has  any  one " 

"  He's  been  seen  again,  miss,"  remarked 
Sprules,  setting  down  his  saucer  on  a  window- 
sill,  and  advancing  with  respect.  "  Old  Joe 
Baldwin  were  up  at  four  this  morning,  and 
he  caught  sight  of  your  dog  ;  somewheres, 
so  far  as  I  understand  him,  away  in  that 
direction."  Sprules  gave  a  vague  flourish  o£ 


46  SLOW  RECOVERY 

Tiis  bare  arm.  "  Consequently,  you  can  take 
it  from  me  that  he  ent  left  the  neighbourhood 
up  to  the  present." 

The  others  nodded. 

'  Unless  I  find  him  to-day,"  announced  the 
girl  definitely,  "  I  shall  have  to  continue 
my  journey." 

They  made  way  for  Mrs.  Marchant.  That 
lady  gave  up  her  broom  to  gain  more  free- 
dom in  argument,  and  stepped  forward. 

"  My  dear,"  she  said,  in  a  motherly  way, 
"I'm  a  tidy  bit  older  than  what  you  are, 
and  it  stands  to  reason  I  know  more  of  the 
world.  People  come  from  far  and  wide  to 
get  my  advice,  they  do,  and  none  can't  ever 
complain  that  I  sent  'em  empty  away." 

The  rest  gave  a  murmur  that  sounded  like 
confirmation. 

"  Moreover,  you're  only  a  Londoner,  and 
that  sort  of  hampers  you.  My  experience, 
my  dear,  tells  me  that  it  don't  do  to  expect 
everything  to  'appen  all  at  once.  Your 
•dog — or  rather  the  dog  belonging  to  a  gentle- 
man military  friend  that  you  was  taking 
charge  of — slips  his  collar  three  days  ago, 
whilst  your  train  was  stoppin'  at  the  station, 
.and  makes  off.  You,  being  tur'bly  upset, 


SLOW  RECOVERY  47 

you  gives  up  your  journey,  and  you  offers  ten 
shillin'  reeward.  On  my  suggestion,  you 
next  day  makes  it  two  pound.  Still  acting 
on  my  racommendation,  you,  the  foiring  day, 
increases  it  to  five." 

"  That  is  more  than  I  can  really  afford." 
"  Never  you  mind  'bout  that,"  said  the 
other,  with  a  touch  of  impatience.  "  I'm 
only  tellin'  you  what  happened.  I'm  a 
business  woman,  and  I  like  to  have  every- 
thing straight f or 'ard,  and  above  board.  I 
know  all  that  occurs  in  Hayford,  and  if  you 
leave  yourself  in  my  hands,  you  won't  go  fur 
wrong.  Your  dog's  been  seen,  and  that  ought 
to  be  enough  for  you,  to  go  on  with." 

"  If  he  could  only  catch  sight  of  me,  he'd 
come  directly.  Fuzzy  is  as  fond  of  me  as  he 
is  of  his  master." 

"  But  not  near  so  fond,  miss,  I  lay  a  pint," 
interposed  Sprules,  with  a  wink  to  the  others, 
"  as  what  his  master  is  of  you." 

She  regarded  him  with  a  steady  gaze  ;  the 
blacksmith  tried  to  hum  a  tune,  and  failing 
in  this,  mentioned  it  was  high  time  he  went 
back  to  finish  his  breakfast. 

"  I  have  been  walking  around  the  neighbour- 
hood," the  girl  went  on,  "  every  day  in  the 


48  SLOW  RECOVEEY 

hope  of  finding  him,  and  I  haven't  succeeded. 
To-night,  by  the  6.37,  I  must  go  on,  and  " — 
with  a  break  in  her  voice, — "  I  shall  have  to 
face  Captain  Stamford." 

"  My  dear,"  said  Mrs.  Marchant  en- 
couragingly, "  you  make  it  ten,  and  some 'ing 
seems  to  tell  me  you'll  get  your  dog  back." 

"  That  would  mean  giving  up  my  holiday," 
she  answered  doubtfully.  Young  Banks, 
draper  and  grocer,  stepped  forward :  some 
one  pulled  at  his  apron.  "  But  if  you  think  it 
will  increase  the  efforts  of  the  villagers,  I'll 
do  as  you  suggest." 

"  Ten  pound,"  announced  Mrs.  Marchant, 
addressing  the  others  in  tones  of  authority, 
"  to  any  one  what  brings  this  lady's  dog  back 
here  to  The  Windmill  afore  six  o'clock  this 
very  evening." 

The  small  crowd  broke  up.  Children  were 
sent  off  to  school,  and  instructed  in  audible 
voices  to  keep  a  wary  look-out  for  Fuzzy. 
The  constable  came  from  his  headquarters 
at  a  neighbouring  village,  and  was  told  of  the 
increase  in  the  reward  ;  he  went  on  to  com- 
municate the  information,  far  and  near.  Mrs. 
Marchant  took  the  cork  from  a  bottle  of  red 
ink  and  made  a  correction  in  the  hand- 


SLOW  RECOVERY  49 

written  bill  headed  "  Lost,  Stolen  or  Strayed  " 
that  rested  on  a  box  of  caramels  in  her  window. 
At  half -past  nine  the  London  girl  in  a  brown 
costume  with  a  conveniently  short  skirt  and 
carrying  a  walking-stick,  left  The  Windmill 
and  strode  off  in  a  northerly  direction,  the 
landlord  wishing  her,  with  great  heartiness, 
good  luck  in  her  search  ;  she  sang  out  that 
she  would  return  for  tea.  Ten  minutes'  grace, 
and  a  meeting  was  held  near  to  the  porch  of 
the  tavern,  with  Mrs.  Marchant  in  a  standing 
position,  but  obviously  in  the  chair.  She 
glanced  around  at  the  four  men  present. 

"  Some  one  go  for  Mr.  Banks/'  she  or- 
dered. 

Sprules  took  charge  of  the  task,  and  returned 
with  the  message  that  the  young  draper  and 
grocer  was  making  up  his  books  ;  Banks  had 
suggested  the  deliberation  should  go  on  as 
though  he  were  present. 

'  I  don't  want  to  complain  of  nobody/' 
commented  Mrs.  Marchant,  "  but  Mr.  Banks 
don't  seem  to  take  the  interest  in  public 
affairs  like  what  he  ought  to  do.  How- 
somever,"  dismissing  this  point,  "  what  we've 
got  to  consider  now  is  whether  we've  come  to 
what  they  call  in  the  newspapers  the  crucial 
4 


50  SLOW  RECOVERY 

moment,  or  whether  we  ought  to  go  on  a  bit 
further/' 

"  Young  party  seems  fairly  bent  on  getting 
away  this  evening,"  remarked  the  owner  of 
The  Windmill.  "  In  fact,  I  may  tell  you  all 
she's  settled  up  her  bill." 

"  My  idea  is,"  said  Sprules,  "  that  we've 
arrived  at  the  limit.  Enough  is  as  good  as 
a  feast." 

"  Is  the  dog  all  right  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Mar- 
chant. 

"  Safe  and  sound,"  replied  the  blacksmith, 
"  where  it's  been  since  it  first  slipped  the 
collar.  And  I  hope  you  won't  none  of  you 
forget  that  I've  had  to  bear  the  axpense  of 
feeding  it." 

'  That  amounts  to  a  mere  trifle,"  com- 
mented Mrs.  Marchant  curtly.  "  From  what 
I  know  of  you,  Mr.  Sprules,  I'll  be  bound  you 
ent  overdone  it." 

'  What  might  you  mean  by  that,  ma'am  ?  ' 

"  I  mean  what  I  say." 

"  A  civil  question,"  persisted  Sprules,  "  re- 
quires a  civil  answer." 

'  You've  come  to  the  wrong  shop  for  that," 

retorted    the    lady,    with    increasing    heat. 

'  When  I  speak,  I  speak  plain,  I  do.    If  you 


SLOW  RECOVERY  51 

must  know  what  I  was  driving  at  it  was  that, 
'cording  to  all  reports,  you're  the  only  one  in 
your  'ouse  who  enjoys  a  hearty  meal.  What 
you  can't  eat,  you  give  to  your  wife  and  the 
children." 

The  proprietor  of  The  Windmill,  an  ex- 
perienced man  in  the  settlement  of  disputes 
by  arbitration,  and  one  frequently  called  upon 
to  decide  knotty  points  (such  as  the  exact 
height  of  the  late  Lord  Randolph  Churchill, 
or  the  winner  of  the  Oaks  in  '94)  found  some 
trouble  in  bringing  the  discussion  back  to  the 
item  on  the  agenda.  Before  he  succeeded  in 
effecting  this,  Sprules  had  managed  to  tell 
Mrs.  Marchant  what  he  thought  of  her,  and 
Mrs.  Marchant  told  Sprules  what  she  thought 
of  him.  Even  when  the  original  topic  was  again 
approached,  the  two  eyed  each  other  from 
opposite  sides  of  the  pavement ;  their  lips 
continued  to  move  without  producing  words. 

"  No  occasion  to  quarrel,"  said  the  inn- 
keeper soothingly.  "  The  amount  ent  large 
enough  to  justify  that.  When  it's  all  divided 
out  equally " 

The  tumult  recommenced,  and  Mr.  Banks, 
leaving  his  books,  came  to  his  doorway,  a  pen 
over  each  ear  ;  he  seemed  tempted  to  give  up 


52 

business  for  pleasure,  but,  with  an  effort, 
returned  to  his  shop.  This  time  Mrs. 
Marchant  and  Sprules  found  themselves,  by 
the"  sport  of  circumstances,  in  agreement ; 
the  rest,  with  the  exception  of  the  proprietor 
of  The  Windmill,  nodded  approval  of  their 
contention.  The  Windmill,  they  argued,  had 
made  a  good  profit  out  of  the  young  lady  ; 
The  Windmill  must  take  this  fact  into  con- 
sideration in  formulating  its  claim.  Fair  was 
fair,  all  the  world  over.  Similarly,  right  was 
right,  no  matter  where  you  lived.  The  pro- 
prietor of  The  Windmill,  almost  in  tears, 
declared  that  his  habit  was  to  charge  customers 
the  merest  trifle  over  cost  price  ;  an  error  in 
addition  had,  he  told  them,  been  detected  by 
the  young  lady  in  settling  the  account.  Per- 
ceiving that  the  general  sense  of  the  meeting 
was  against  him,  he  mentioned  that  he  had 
no  desire  to  become  unpopular,  and  he  there- 
fore left  himself  in  their  hands. 

"  By  the  by,"  remarked  some  one,  "  didn't 
the  young  party  buy  a  couple  of  old  brass 
candlesticks  from  Mr.  Banks's  mother  ?  *' 

The  fact  had  escaped  memory,  but  only 
this  hint  was  necessary  to  recall  it.  It  was 
not  known  how  much  had  been  paid  for 


SLOW  RECOVEKY  53 

the  articles,  but  the  village  felt  justified 
in  assuming  they  were  not  given  away, 
and  the  question  was  how  much  ought  to 
be  deducted.  Foreheads  took  additional 
wrinkles  at  the  prospect  of  mental  arithmetic, 
and  Sprules  had  found,  in  his  pocket,  a  short 
stump  of  wood  which  was  once  a  pencil,  when 
Mrs.  Marchant,  lowering  her  voice,  made  a  pro- 
position which  instantly  met  with  a  chorus  of 
approval.  Young  Banks  had  taken  little  or  no 
share  in  the  whole  business  ;  he  was  evidently 
entitled  to  no  share  in  the  profits.  Young 
Banks,  a  strict  Wesleyan,  had,  in  the  hearing 
of  one,  characterised  the  affair  as  shady,  and 
he  could  scarcely  object  to  being  left  out.  It 
was  agreed  that  nothing  should  be  said  to 
young  Banks  for  the  present,  and  the  meeting 
broke  up  with  smiles,  expressions  of  mutual 
regard,  warning  fingers  that  urged  secrecy. 
A  small  sub-committee  went  to  inspect  the 
captive  dog  at  the  back  of  Sprules's  forge. 

Mr.  Banks  was  noticed  to  be  giving  in- 
structions at  two  o'clock  that  afternoon  to  his 
assistant :  a  few  minutes  later  shutters  went 
up  and  Banks,  straw-hatted,  and  carrying  a 
Hght  cane,  went  off,  at  a  good  pace,  as  one 
determined  to  enjoy  a  long  walk.  The  assis- 


54  SLOW  RECOVERY 

tant,  answering  inquiries,  said  the  procedure 
was  in  the  nature  of  an  experiment,  and  could 
be  taken  as  part  and  parcel  of  the  Early 
Closing  scheme.  At  four  o'clock  Sprules 
brought  out  Fuzzy,  and  tied  the  defiant-look- 
ing Irish  terrier  to  the  anvil ;  in  the  forge, 
Sprules  rehearsed  to  a  smoked  portrait  of 
Mr.  Gladstone,  tacked  on  the  wall,  an  account 
of  the  capture  of  Fuzzy,  to  be  given  to  the 
young  woman  upon  her  return.  Sprules  was 
in  the  third  repetition  of  this  (for  improve- 
ments occurred  to  him)  when  his  name  was 
called.  He  unfastened  the  dog  and  took  it 
out,  shading  eyes  with  the  disengaged  hand 
from  the  afternoon  sun. 

"  I'm  oncommon  glad  to  inform  you,  miss, 

that  our  efforts  have  at  last Oh,  it's  you, 

Mr.  Banks  !  " 

'  Yes,"  said  the  young  draper  and  grocer, 
"  it's  me.  I  happened  to  meet  the  lady  up 
near  Watbury,  and  she  asked  me  to  come  back 
here,  to  save  her  the  walk,  and  to  see  about 
sending  on  her  portmanteau.  She's  found 
her  dog." 

"  She's  done  what  ?  " 

'  You  know  them  nut  trees  as  you  go  down 
the  hill,  on  the  left-hand  side  ?  Just  beyond 


SLOW  RECOVEKY  55 

the  bridge  I  mean.  Extraordinary  pleased 
about  it,  she  is,  naturally.  And  Fuzzy,  of 
course,  half  off  his  head  at  seeing  her  again." 

"  Mr.  Banks/'  said  the  blacksmith,  dis- 
tressedly,  "  let's  get  this  all  clear.  Do  I 
onder stand  from  you  that  the  dog  I've  got 
here,  at  the  end  of  this  piece  of  string,  isn't 
the  animal  the  reeward  was  offered  for  ?  ' 

"  The  lady  only  lost  one." 

Sprules  rubbed  the  top  of  his  head.  Mr. 
Banks  patted  the  dog,  and  tried  to  induce  it 
to  stand  on  its  hind  legs. 

'  Then  what's  to  be  done  with  this  yer 
animal  ?  I've  got  no  use  for  him.  'Sides  which, 
he  tried  all  he  knew  just  now  to  bite  me." 

"  I've  got  an  aunt  living  down  the  line," 
said  young  Banks,  regarding  the  dog  critic- 
ally, "and  I  owe  her  a  birthday  present.  I 
had  intended  to  give  about  five  shilling  for 
something." 

'  The  dog's  yourn ! "  said  the  blacksmith 
promptly. 

Mr.  Banks  carried  the  portmanteau  off  in 
good  time  for  the  6.37,  and  the  dog,  with  a 
label  bearing  the  address  of  his  relative,  went 
with  him.  At  the  station,  he  made  an  altera- 
tion in  the  wording  of  the  label,  and  took  the 


56  SLOW  RECOVERY 

ticket  for  it  that  is  furnished  when  a  dog 
accompanies  a  passenger.  There  were  no 
other  customers  for  the  train,  and  he  and  the 
one  porter  had  an  animated  discussion  con- 
cerning the  new  minister  whose  name  was  on 
the  plan  to  take  up  duties  shortly.  The  train 
came  in ;  the  porter  went  to  the  brake  van  to 
see  to  arriving  luggage. 

'  You  dear  old  Fuzzy  !  "  cried  the  girl 
delightedly,  as  the  dog  with  a  single  bound 
jumped  into  her  compartment.  "  Mr.  Banks, 
how  can  I  thank  you,  and  how  much  do  I 
owe  you  ?  '  She  took  charge  of  the  portman- 
teau, and  opened  her  purse. 

'  You  don't  owe  me  nothing,"  replied 
young  Banks,  reddening.  The  engine 
whistled.  "  But  if  you  want  to  pay  me, 
and  you  think  your  friend  Captain  Stamford 
wouldn't  object,  you  might — you  might  jest 
blow  me  a  kiss  as  the  train  goes  out !  }: 


LOOSE   CASH 

A  PRINCE  OF  WALES  was  born,  and  Mr. 
Rollinson  re-christened  a  row  of  houses  which 
he  had  acquired.  The  original  builder  had 
gone  incautiously  on  a  certain  evening  in  the 
early  part  of  '41  to  inspect  his  property — an 
act  nobody  else  thought  of  performing — and 
stumbled  into  one  of  the  numerous  holes  that 
lined  the  approach.  His  widow  found  herself 
unable  to  carry  on  the  building  operations, 
and  Mr.  Rollinson,  who,  owing  to  popular 
prejudice,  had  just  given  up  a  career  on  the 
turf  and  some  profitable  transactions  near  the 
prize  ring,  offered  her  two  hundred  pounds 
ready  cash  for  the  lot. 

"  Could  you  make  it  two  fifty,  Mr.  Rollin- 
son ?  " 

"  I'll  make  it  three  hundred,  because  I  like 
your  manner." 

57 


58  LOOSE  CASH 

"  Oh,  you  dear  good  generous  soul !  "  she 
cried. 

He  paid  in  rather  greasy-looking  bank- 
notes, and,  later  on,  married  her,  and  thus 
secured  a  return  of  the  amount. 

The  Albert  Edward  estate  was  announced  as 
specially  suitable  for  newly  married  people,  and 
these  came,  in  pairs,  attracted  by  the  title  and 
by  the  health  statistics  of  the  neighbourhood  ; 
a  few  carping  critics  pointed  out  that  the 
agreeable  figures  were  due  to  the  sparsity  of  the 
population,  but  no  one  troubled  to  follow  the 
argument.  Meanwhile  Mr.  Rollinson  ordered 
that  building  should  go  on  with  haste  to  meet 
the  demands  of  would-be  tenants,  who,  by  an 
ingenious  scheme  of  payments,  became  in  a 
term  of  years  responsible  owners  of  the 
property,  and  he  only  relinquished  the  task 
when  children  began  to  arrive  and  the  dwel- 
lings, in  consequence,  showed  signs  of  wear 
and  tear.  He  then  went  to  Finsbury  Park, 
and  laid  out  the  Princess  Alice  estate  ;  later 
he  proceeded  to  Hammersmith,  and  planned 
and  carried  out  the  Duke  of  Edinburgh  estate. 
These  houses  might  be  exhibited  at  the  present 
day,  a  tribute  to  Rollinson's  loyalty  and  in- 
dustry, but  for  the  interference  of  borough 


LOOSE  CASH  59 

officials.  By  the  time  these  steps  were  taken, 
Mr.  Rollinson  had  disengaged  himself  from 
interest  in  the  various  properties,  but  one  can 
understand  the  pain  given  by  the  action  of 
the  authorities  to  a  man  whose  official  letter 
paper  bore  the  heading,  "  Not  for  an  Age,  but 
for  all  Time." 

Ernest  Napoleon,  the  son,  was  born  in  '43, 
and  the  event  is  registered  at  the  church  in 
Hart  Street,  Bloomsbury  ;  his  father,  despite 
activities  concerning  new  dwellings,  preferred 
to  reside  in  an  older  quarter  of  town.  Mr. 
Rollinson  found  tune  to  take  a  part  in  public 
life,  and  I  have  ascertained  that  he  was  one 
of  170,000  special  constables  sworn  in  at  the 
time  of  the  threatened  Chartist  riots  ;  un- 
fortunately, on  the  day  of  the  meeting  at 
Kennington  Common,  he  was  suffering  from  a 
slight  headache,  and  he  advised  his  neigh- 
bour, Dr.  Fennell,  to  order  him  to  stay  in  bed. 
Friendship  between  himself  and  his  medical 
man  increased  as  Mr.  Rollinson  spoke  of  his 
fortunate  investments. 

'  Want  you  to  dome  a  greatfavour,  George/' 
asked  Dr.  Fennell,  meeting  him  one  day  near 
the  Museum.  "  My  idea  is  that  I  ought  very 
soon  to  be  able  to  retire,  and  cultivate  a 


60  LOOSE  CASH 

garden  in  the  country.  But  progress  in  my 
profession  is  slow." 

'  You're  as  safe  as  'ouses,"  remarked  Mr. 
Rollinson, — "  safe  as  some  'ouses,  I  mean — 
providing  you're  not  fool  enough  to  go  in  for 
speculation." 

"  Speculation/'  declared  the  doctor  warmly, 
"  is  the  last  vice  I  should  indulge  in.  All  I 
want  you  to  do,  the  next  time  you  see  a  good 
thing  in  prospect,  is  just  to  let  me  come  in 
with  you.  I've  five  thousand  pounds  put  by, 
and — call  me  ambitious,  or  what  you  will — 
I  should  like  to  make  it  ten.  Promise  me 
you'll  do  your  best." 

"  Can't  guarantee  success,  mind  you  ! '' 

"  My  dear  George,"  protested  the  other, 
"give  me  credit  for  a  fair  amount  of  common 
sense." 

The  Great  Exhibition  was  a  year  or  two 
distant,  but  preparations  were  already  being 
made,  and  Mr.  Rollinson  heard  of  several 
investments  in  regard  to  it  that  promised 
well ;  a  scheme  for  obtaining  all  the  printing 
work  sounded  so  excellent  that  he  brought  it 
to  the  notice  of  his  friend  ;  the  drawback  was 
that  only  five  thousand  pounds  appeared  to 
be  required.  On  Fennell's  earnest  appeal  he 


LOOSE  CASH  61 

agreed  to  stand  aside,  and  allow  the  doctor 
to  take  full  advantage  of  the  opportunity. 

"  But  don't  you  go  forgetting  that  I  warned 
you  there  was  a  risk/' 

"  Nothing  venture,  George/'  said  Fennell 
contentedly,  "  nothing  have  !  '' 

When  the  auction  took  place  in  Bloomsbury 
Square,  Mr.  Rollinson  acting,  so  it  was  ru- 
moured, from  motives  of  generosity  towards 
an  old  and  valued  friend  overtaken  by  mis- 
fortune, made  arrangements  with  dealers,  and 
purchased  nearly  all  of  Dr.  FennelFs  furniture. 
He  also  bought  the  remainder  of  the  lease. 
The  goodwill  he  obtained  at  a  fair  price,  and 
sold  at  another,  and  the  ground  floor  was  let 
to  a  new  man  who  was  told  to  keep  the  practice 
going  for  sixteen  or  eighteen  years. 

'  What's  the  idea  of  arranging  that,  Mr. 
R.  ?  "  asked  his  wife  respectfully. 

"  Don't  you  ask  questions,"  he  retorted, 
"I'm  looking  well  ahead  !  ': 

"  If  it's  something  in  store  for  our  boyy 
I'm  quite  satisfied." 

"  It  is  something  for  my  boy,  but  I  don't 
care  a  hang  whether  you  are  satisfied  or  not." 

"  Do  you  think  we  ought  to  get  a  governess- 
in  for  him,  Mr.  R.  ?  " 


62  LOOSE  CASH 

"  I  shall  take  charge  of  his  education,  and 
I  don't  want  no  one  interferin'.  I'm  a  going 
to  have  him  brought  up  proper,  so  as  he'll 
turn  out  to  be  a  credit  to  me,  later  on.  And, 
although  it's  got  nothing  to  do  with  you,  I 
don't  mind  mentioning  that  trouble  will  be 
no  object.  No  object,  whatsoever.  I've  got 
along  pretty  well  without  much  beyond 
readin'  and  writin'  and  figurin',  and  it  stands 
to  reason  he'll  have  a  better  chance  than 
what  I  did,  if  he's  fitted  out  more  complete. 
But  don't  you  go  putting  your  spoke  in,  or 
else  me  and  you'll  have  words.  Quite  enough 
for  you  that  he's  going  to  be  brought  up  to 
be  a  doctor  and  a  gentleman.  Especially  a 
gentleman  !  " 

Although  the  printing  scheme  had  ended  in 
disaster,  owing  to  the  action  of  a  mysterious 
gentleman  in  the  City,  there  were  others  of  a 
more  solid  nature  in  connection  with  the 
Hyde  Park  show,  and  it  was  said  at  this  time 
that  it  was  only  necessary  for  Mr.  Rollinson 
to  be  mixed  up  in  any  transaction  to  ensure 
success,  so  far  as  he  was  concerned.  Some 
might  endure  stabs  at  the  hand  of  Fortune,  but 
Kollinson  always  came  through  safely.  Often- 
times his  name  did  not  appear,  and  knowing 


LOOSE  CASH  63 

folk  therefore  multiplied  his  gains  by  twenty 
to  make  sure  they  were  well  within  the  mark. 

We  are  now  at  '51. 

It  was  during  this  year  that  the  boy  Ernest 
first  gained  special  attention,  and  caused  his 
father's  pride  to  increase.  Mrs.  Rollinson, 
with  the  improvement  in  income,  and  aided 
by  a  dressmaker  of  Theobald's  Road,  culti- 
vated a  definite  note  in  apparel,  and  her 
favourite  costume  was  one  of  a  tartan  pattern, 
full  in  the  flounces  and  so  tightly  stayed  at 
the  waist  that  the  poor  lady's  complexion 
was  sometimes  scarlet,  sometimes  purple.  At 
the  start,  she  had,  for  motives  of  economy, 
herself  made  the  child's  clothes,  but  the  boy 
reported  to  his  father  that  these,  by  reason  of 

their  amplitude 

'  You  must  allow  for  growing,"  urged  his 
mother. 

—These  caused  him  to  become  the  object 
of  ridicule,  and  his  father  at  once  put  a  stop 
to  home  manufactures.  Ernest,  thereafter, 
during  Exhibition  year,  wore  suits  of  velvet 
with  frilled  knickerbockers,  and  a  stiffly 
carded  cap  with  a  blue  tassel  dependent, 
and  his  appearance  extorted  nothing  but 
admiration  as  he  walked,  hand-iii-hand  with 


64  LOOSE  CASH 

his  father,  along  the  transept  of  Mr.  Joseph 
Paxton's  great  building  of  glass.  The  boy 
had  been  furnished  with  several  facts  and 
arguments  in  connection  with  the  place,  and 
these  he  recited  in  a  clear,  distinct  voice. 

"  Looking  around,  dear  papa,  at  this  striking 
scene,  it  seems  impossible  to  think  that  war 
will  again  occur  in  our  time." 

And, 

"  I  believe  this  immense  building  covers 
twenty  acres  of  ground,  and  is  no  less  than 
two  thousand  feet  long.  Please  correct  me, 
papa,  if  I  am  in  error/' 

Quite  distinguished -looking  ladies  and 
gentlemen  took  notice  of  the  boy's  intelli- 
gence, and  some  gave  him  fourpenny  pieces, 
patting  him  on  the  cap,  and  telling  him  he 
was  a  fine  little  fellow;  a  well-known  poli- 
tician prophesied  of  him,  on  one  occasion,  that 
he  would  grow  up  to  be  an  Englishman  in  the 
best  sense  of  the  word.  You  can  imagine 
Mr.  Kollinson's  delight  at  these  compliments, 
and  the  satisfaction  in  finding  his  own  views 
confirmed  from  responsible  quarters.  It  was 
his  method,  in  regard  to  domestic  affairs, 
to  ascertain  Mrs.  Rollinson's  wishes  and  then 
to  give  instructions  that  the  exact  opposite 


LOOSE  CASH  65 

should  be  adopted,  but,  returning  home  after 
one  of  these  gratifying  afternoons  in  Hyde 
Park,  he  took  the  unusual  course  of  inviting 
her  to  his  study,  where,  in  smoking-cap  and 
dressing-gown  (a  change  from  the  restraint 
of  out-door  clothes)  he  bade  her  take  the  easy- 
chair,  whilst  he  himself  stood  near  the  empty 
fireplace  and  leaned  an  elbow  on  the  mantel- 
piece, in  an  attitude  imposed  by  more  than 
one  artist  upon  the  Prince  Consort. 

'  You  will  no  doubt  say,  Mrs.  Rollinson," 
he  remarked,  "  that  making  money  as  I  do 
now,  and  not  doing  much  work  for  it,  we  ought 
to  go  on  a  steppin'  up  the  ladder.  Allow  me 
to  remind  you  that  sometimes  I  don't  retain 
all  the  cash  I  receive.  Sounds  peculiar,  but 
it's  a  fact.  I  find  the  money  that  takes  the 
most  trouble  to  get  is  the  money  that  stays 
with  me  longest.  Putting  that  all  aside, 
your  view,  womanlike,  is  that  we've  only 
got  one  life  to  live  in  this  world,  whatever 
'appens  to  us  in  the  next,  and  that  we're 
entitled  to  make  the  most  of  it.  You'll  tell 
me  that  we  both  of  us  had  a  hard  time  in  the 
early  days,  and  we're  justified  in  claiming  our 
reward.  And  mind  you,  there's  something  in 
your  argument." 
5 


66  LOOSE  CASH 

Mrs.  Rollinson,  much  astonished  at  this 
commendation  of  her  presumed  opinions, 
could  find  no  words  either  to  protest  or  to 
agree.  She  smoothed  her  crimped  hair  and 
bowed. 

"But  perhaps,"  he  went  on  in  the  same 
amazing  tones  of  deference,  "  perhaps  you 
won't  mind  if  I  point  out  that  we're  living 
now  in  a  very  fair  state  of  comfort.  We  have 
roast  meat  every  other  day  ;  if  you  feel  in- 
clined to  go  now  and  again  to  see  Mr.  Wigan 
at  the  St.  James's,  why,  you've  only  got  to 
say  so.  And  this  brings  me  to  the  point  of 
what  I'm  talking  about.  Why  shouldn't  we 
go  on  as  we're  going  now,  not  wasting  money 
specially,  not  'oarding  it  to  any  special  degree, 
but  going  a  reg'lar  buster  in  regard  to  the  boy  ? 
Giving  him  chances  that  his  father  never  had, 
seeing  that  he  has  every  opportunity  of  growing 
up  so  that  he  can  take  his  place  amongst  the 
'ighest  of  the  land  ?  Now  then,  Mrs.  R.  ! 
If  you've  got  anything  further  to  remark  on 
the  subject,  here's  the  time  to  say  it,  or  ever 
after  hold  your  peace." 

"  Sometimes,"  she  ventured  to  remark, 
"  you've  pitched  into  me  and  told  me  I  was 
spoiling  him." 


LOOSE  CASH  67 

'  There's  a  right  way  of  doing  it,"  he  re- 
torted, "  and  a  wrong  way  of  doing  it." 

"  And  you've  said,  more  than  once,  that  to 
make  a  man  of  him  he  ought  to  go  through 
the  mill,  same  as  what  you  did/* 

'  There  again,  there's  two  ways  open/' 

"  If  you  can  find  the  right  way,  Mr.  R.,  I'm 
perfectly  agreeable/' 

'  You're  a  wise  woman,"  he  declared, 
"  although  very  often  you  manage  to  conceal 
the  fact.  And  I  promise  you  faithfully  that 
if  you  leave  it  all  to  me,  you  won't  have  no 
reason  to  be  sorry  !  'J 

Ernest  grew  up  tall,  slim,  good-looking,  and 
with  fair,  curly  hair  ;  it  was  therefore  reckoned 
impossible  to  make  him  a  doctor.  Apart  from 
this,  he  showed  no  special  intelligence,  and  at 
the  new  military  college  at  Sandhurst  the 
masters  said  caustically  it  was  a  pity  the  lad 
had  not  been  born  in  America,  for  then  the 
Civil  War  there  would  have  been  of  very  short 
duration.  Discouraged  by  these  comments, 
Ernest,  of  his  own  accord,  left  the  College, 
thus  depriving  the  British  army  of  his  services, 
and,  coming  back  to  town,  took  rooms  in 
Jermyn  Street,  and  mentioned  to  his  father 
and  mother  that  he  proposed  to  look  about 


68  LOOSE  CASH 

him,  a  task  which  it  is  well  known  cannot  be 
done  in  a  hurry.  Money  was  supplied  from 
Bloomsbury  Square,  and  it  appeared  to  have 
some  peculiar  quality,  for  it  all  slipped  through 
Ernest's  fingers  with  the  greatest  possible 
ease.  Having,  in  spite  of  his  defects,  an 
amiable  disposition,  he  soon  found  acquain- 
tances, mainly  amongst  other  men  who  were 
also  looking  about,  and  when  they  discovered 
he  had  money  at  his  command,  and  that  his 
cheques  were  always — after  sometimes  a  brief 
delay — honoured,  their  admiration  of  his 
qualities  knew  no  bounds. 

'  You've  got  a  simple  manner/'  they  said, 
"  but,  by  gad,  underneath  that  there's  any 
amount  of  cunning  and  cleverness." 

"  Eeally  think  so  ?  "  inquired  Ernest, 
pleased. 

"Enough  for  ten  ordinary  people/'  they 
declared.  "  Got  a  fi'pun  note  about  you  ?  ' 

Also,  they  gave  him  sound  advice  in  regard 
to  keeping  well  in  with  the  governor :  a  dinner 
was  arranged  at  a  club  to  which  one  of  them 
belonged,  and,  at  the  expense  of  Ernest,  Mr. 
Rollinson  was  entertained,  and  made  much 
of  ;  Wilner  (who  had  been  twice  through  the 
Bankruptcy  Court,  using  up  several  pails  of 


LOOSE  CASH  69 

whitewash  and  coming  out  not  quite  clean) — 
Wilner  made  a  speech,  proposing  old  Rollin- 
son's  health,  declaring  that  their  guest  was 
one  of  the  bulwarks  of  the  nation,  and  that 
his  well-equipped  son  would,  later  on,  when  he 
had  finished  looking  about,  become  one  of  the 
foremost  men  in  the  State.  Privately,  Wilner 
told  Mr.  Rollinson  that  all  our  best  politicians 
had  sown  their  wild  oats  in  early  days,  and 
gave  an  amusing  and  little-known  anecdote 
concerning  a  member  of  the  Cabinet. 

"  What  he  wants/'  said  old  Rollinson,  glanc- 
ing at  his  son,  "  is  concentration,  if  you  know 
what  it  means,  sir/' 

"  That  will  grow  on  him/'  remarked  the 
other  lightly.  "  All  he  has  to  do  just  now 
is  to  make  plenty  of  friends.  And  it  isn't 
for  a  mere  amateur  like  myself  to  give  advice 
to  an  experienced  man  of  the  world  like 
George  Rollinson " 

Oddly  enough,  the  term  had  never  before 
been  applied  to  him.  Old  Rollinson  fixed 
his  cigar  at  a  more  rakish  angle. 

"  But  if  I  were  you,  I  should  see  that,  for 
a  year  or  two  at  any  rate,  he  was  not  stinted 
of  money."  Wilner  gazed  reflectively  at  his 
glass  of  claret.  "I've  seen  so  many  young- 


70  LOOSE  CASH 

sters,  fine,  promising,  delightful  lads,  go  to 
the  deuce  just  for  want  of  a  few  paltry  hun- 
dreds. And  you  needn't  begrudge  it,  you  know. 
By  all  accounts  you  make  it  easily  enough." 

The  rest  of  the  dinner-party,  once  they  had, 
as  Wilner  neatly  phrased  it,  put  off  the  old 
man,  went  to  the  Argyll  Rooms,  and  later  to 
Bob  Croft's  in  the  Hay  market  (no  use  in 
going  to  Croft's  until  midnight),  where  Ernest 
insisted  upon  playing  the  harp,  with  the  aid 
of  his  walking-stick  ;  when  the  police  came 
to  make  their  usual  nightly  round,  Ernest 
demanded  the  company  of  the  Inspector  in 
the  Varsoviana.  Wilner  and  the  others  were 
satisfied  with  the  efforts  of  their  pupil  and 
allowed  him,  at  his  special  request,  to  pay 
for  everything.  This  was  the  occasion  when 
Ernest  lighted  a  cigar  with  one  of  the  notes 
given  to  him  by  his  father,  and  found  some 
difficulty  in  making  the  paper  burn. 

There  were  times  when  Ernest,  troubled 
with  remorse  and  a  severe  headache,  spoke  of 
giving  it  all  up,  and  returning  to  Bloomsbury 
Square  ;  the  bodyguard  had  to  use  their  best 
powers  of  derision.  An  accusation  of  want 
of  pluck  generally  proved  effective  ;  later,  a 
slip  of  the  pen  on  the  part  of  Ernest  gave  them 


LOOSE  CASH  71 

a  better  hold,  and  they  had  only  to  draw  his 
attention  to  the  punishment  awarded  by  the 
law  for  forgery.  Old  Rollinson  fell  ill,  in 
consequence  of  a  chill  sustained  on  the  steam- 
boat returning  from  Greenwich  after  his  new 
doctor  had  ordered  him  a  sea  voyage,  and 
the  remittances  stopped.  A  new  and  pro- 
mising-looking pigeon  flew  into  the  district 
of  the  Circus ;  Wilner  and  his  colleagues 
dropped  the  acquaintance  of  Ernest,  who 
could  find  no  better  companion  than  a  wise 
young  housemaid  at  Jermyn  Street.  The  girl 
gave  him  good  advice  and  went  with  him  to 
Bloomsbury  Square,  waiting  at  the  railings 
whilst  he  entered  to  see  his  father,  to  make 
frank  avowals,  and  to  impersonate  the  prodigal 
son.  He  came  out  in  less  than  half  an  hour, 
and  it  seemed  at  once  evident  that  the  fatted 
calf  was  still  alive. 

"  Says  Fve  disappointed  him,"  reported 
Ernest  tearfully,  "  and  that  he  never  wants 
to  see  me  again.  Declares  he  did  his  best  for 
me,  and  all  IVe  done  has  been  to  spend 
nearly  every  penny  he  gained,  and  there's 
nothing  to  show  for  it,  excepting  a  good- 
for-nothing,  broken-down  young  man.  And 
mother  agreed  with  him/' 


72  LOOSE  CASH 

"  Appears  to  me,"  remarked  Helen,  "  some 
one  is  going  to  have  the  responsibility  of 
looking  after  you/' 

"I  wish  you'd  marry  me/' 

"  That  will  be  about  the  best  plan/'  she 
agreed. 

Ernest  Rollinson  died  in  '64,  and  soon  after 
the  old  people  went.  Young  Mrs.  Rollinson, 
putting  her  baby  boy  away  with  some  working 
people  in  Clerkenwell,  entered  service  again. 

A  Home  for  Indigent  Bookmakers  found 
itself  benefited  by  the  terms  of  the  Blooms- 
bury  Square  will ;  nothing  was  left  to  the 
son's  family,  in  spite  of  the  device  used  in 
christening  the  baby.  Helen  worked  hard  in 
her  good  situation  and  saved  money,  paying 
the  folk  in  Corporation  Lane  weekly,  and  now 
and  again  snatching  an  hour  off  to  see  her  boy. 
She  was  there  one  afternoon  in  December 
watching  with  amusement  his  celebrated 
impersonation  of  a  policeman  on  the  track 
of  a  Fenian  (he  had  some  new  piece  of  clever- 
ness each  time  she  paid  her  furtive  visits) 
when  a  tremendous  clatter  came  from  the  wall 
of  the  prison  opposite,  the  house  trembled, 
plaster  of  the  ceiling  fell  in  a  thick  white 
shower,  and  then  the  place  collapsed.  Helen 


LOOSE  CASH  73 

Rollinson  found  herself  pulled  out  of  the 
debris  and  screamed  loudly  for  her  George ; 
they  brought  to  her  a  maimed  child,  and  she, 
almost  demented,  was  nursing  the  poor  thing 
in  the  confusion  of  the  street,  and  begging 
it  not  to  die,  when  Master  George  himself 
trotted  up,  safe  and  sound,  demanding  of  his 
mother  whether  she  had  noticed  the  splendid 
fireworks.  She  placed  the  injured  child  in 
the  hands  of  one  of  the  doctors,  heard  that  the 
woman  of  the  house  was  not  expected  to  re- 
cover, and  rushed  away  with  her  boy  from  the 
disastrous  scene. 

'  Well  for  you,  Helen,"  said  her  excellent 
mistress,  "  that  you  are  able  to  show  me  your 
marriage  lines,  otherwise  it  would  be  my  duty, 
as  a  strict  Churchwoman,  to  turn  you  out  of 
the  house,  neck  and  crop.  As  it  is,  you  have 
practised  deceit  on  me,  and  I  am  afraid  we 
must  look  upon  this  dreadful  affair  at  Clerken- 
well  as  a  judgment  for  your  sin." 

"  They  seemed  to  suspect  some  Irish  people, 
ma'am." 

"  Heaven  has  its  own  way  of  punishing 
evil-doers,"  declared  the  lady,  "  and  it  isn't 
for  us  to  question  its  methods.  You  cannot 
stay  here  any  longer." 


74  LOOSE  CASH 

"  I  must  find  another  situation,  I  s'pose, 
ma'am.  But  I  shan't  get  such  a  good  one  as 
this." 

"Deceit,"  insisted  the  other,  "is  one  of 
the  things  that  must,  on  no  account,  be 
encouraged.  What  is  your  boy  like  ?  3: 

The  child,  brought  from  the  kitchen,  re- 
peated for  the  benefit  of  Helen's  mistress  his 
account  of  the  explosion,  a  performance  that 
had  been  well  received  downstairs.  The  lady 
was  impressed. 

"  A  clever  boy,"  she  said.  '  Would  you 
like  me  to  adopt  him,  Helen,  and  thus  leave 
you  free  ?  '' 

"I'd  rather  starve  than  let  him  go  away 
from  me  again." 

"  Supposing,  then,"  said  the  lady,  getting 
over  her  surprise  at  this  attitude,  "  supposing 
I  set  you  up  in  a  small  business  of  some  kind  ; 
will  you  promise  me  never  to  be  deceitful 
again  ?  '  Helen  gave  the  required  guarantee, 
and  her  mistress  put  the  small  boy  through  a 
viva-voce  examination ;  his  replies  concerning 
the  award  meted  out  to  naughty  people 
fortunately  coincided  exactly  with  the  lady's 
own  views. 

Helen  Rollinson,  widow  of  Ernest  Rollinson, 


LOOSE  CASH  75 

and  mother  of  George  Rollinson,  saw  her  name 
painted  over  a  shop  in  Southampton  Row, 
with  the  words  added,  on  either  side  of  the 
main  inscription,  "  Newsagent  "  and  "  Tobac- 
conist " ;  she  let  the  rooms  above,  giving  some 
personal  attendance,  used  the  apartment  at 
the  back  of  the  shop  as  a  living-room  whence 
she  could  see  when  a  customer  entered, 
occupied  spare  moments  by  making  clothes 
for  George,  preparing  necessary  meals,  and 
telling  him  to  be  a  good  lad.  She  slept  for 
about  six  hours  every  night,  giving  the  re- 
maining eighteen  to  hard  work,  and  to  the 
considerable  task  of  minding  her  own  business. 
Mr.  Forster  carried  his  Education  Act  just  in 
time  to  enable  George  to  take  advantage  of 
it,  and  the  boy  was  one  of  the  earliest  to  pay 
sixpence  a  week  and  become  a  pupil  of  the 
State  at  a  superior  school ;  in  his  spare  time 
he  delivered  newspapers  and  ran  errands, 
sometimes  going  so  far  as  the  City  and  making 
use  of  the  new  Viaduct  at  Holborn  ;  he  was 
at  first  terrified  by  these  important  missions, 
but  overhearing  his  mother  speak  of  him  to  a 
customer  as  a  boy  who  knew  his  way  about, 
he  determined  to  keep  his  fears  to  himself, 
and  to  overcome  them.  Moreover,  there  was 


76  LOOSE  CASH 

the  knowledge  that  undertakings  of  the  kind, 
perilous  as  they  might  be,  saved  expense. 
Mrs.  Rollinson  watched  every  penny,  every 
halfpenny,  and  spoke  with  genuine  regret 
when  disbursements  had  to  be  made  to  the 
Parcels  Delivery  Company. 

"  Throwing  away  good  money  !  "  she  de- 
clared. 

She  explained  to  George,  in  answer  to  his 
question,  a  theory  she  held  in  regard  to  the 
coinage  of  the  United  Kingdom,  and  he  em- 
bodied these  views  in  an  essay  at  school  the 
following  morning.  His  teacher,  greatly 
diverted,  read  the  paper  aloud  to  the  class, 
and  the  boys  followed  the  lead,  glad  of 
an  excuse  for  boisterous  amusement.  George 
flushed,  and  kept  his  head  down.  It  gives 
some  notion  of  the  difficulties  experienced  by 
the  State  in  its  early  days  of  keeping  school 
when  I  mention  that  George  ranged  himself 
on  the  side  of  his  parent,  and  declined  to  accept 
the  opinions  of  educational  authorities  ;  the 
teacher,  noting  his  attitude,  spoke  to  him  later 
in  the  playground,  and  assured  him  again 
that  his  argument  was  based  upon  error. 
Money,  said  the  teacher,  was  manufactured 
at  a  place  called  the  Mint  situated  east  of  the 


LOOSE  CASH  77 

City  ;  the  gold  coins  were  actual  value,  whilst 
the  rest  were  called  tokens,  representing 
a  value  only  by  agreement.  Notes  were 
made  on  special  paper,  and  printed  under 
the  supervision  of  the  Bank  of  England.  To 
write,  as  George  Rollinson  had  done,  that 
there  were  two  kinds  of  money,  one  dry  and  the 
other  slippery,  one  easy  to  retain  and  the  other 
impossible  to  keep,  was  to  make  an  assertion 
that,  in  the  light  of  facts,  could  not  possibly 
be  supported. 

"  So  get  that  nonsensical  idea  out  of  your 
head,  my  lad,"  advised  his  teacher  earnestly, 
"  as  soon  as  you  possibly  can.  You  have  a 
good  deal  to  learn  yet,  remember." 

On  most  subjects  George  accepted  the 
instructions  of  the  representatives  of  the 
State,  bringing  home  to  Southampton  Row 
items  of  geographical  information  and  snips 
of  historical  news  ;  his  mother  nodded  ap- 
provingly and  hinted  that  all  the  particulars 
had  once  been  learnt  by  her,  but,  owing  to 
pressure  of  other  matters,  forgotten.  When 
the  boy  asked  about  his  father  she  constructed 
for  his  encouragement,  and  her  own  content, 
an  ideal  man,  dogged,  wise,  and  industrious, 
never  wasting  a  moment  of  valuable  time, 


78  LOOSE  CASH 

always  thrifty.  Upon  George  inquiring  why, 
in  these  circumstances,  they  had  not  been 
left  more  comfortably  off,  she  fell  back  on  her 
old  theory  regarding  cash,  and  told  him  in 
conclusion  that  little  boys  who  did  not  ask  too 
many  questions  would  find  their  appropriate 
reward  in  not  being  told  too  many  lies. 

The  profits  of  the  business  were  small,  but 
they  were  sure.  The  newspaper  and  magazine 
side  increased  slightly  year  by  year  with 
nothing  in  the  nature  of  a  set-back,  excepting 
the  occasional  defalcation  of  some  customer 
with  a  poor  memory,  and  lightly  furnished 
in  the  way  of  luggage.  Mrs.  Rollinson,  when 
the  lad  was  of  a  sufficient  age,  showed  him 
the  results  of  the  business,  and  George  said 
they  ought  to  sell  letter  paper  at  the  tobacco 
counter,  seeing  that  the  figures  there  were 
stationary.  Mrs.  Rollinson  gave  this  remark 
as  "  George's  latest "  to  a  customer,  a  short, 
clean-shaven  man,  who  patronised  the  shop  for 
lucifer  matches,  and  the  customer  pronounced 
it  good;  later,  in  calling,  he  mentioned  he 
had  worked  it  into  a  burlesque  at  the 
Strand  Theatre  where  he  was  playing,  and 
that  it  went  fairly  well.  He  added  that  he 
had  never  yet  found  the  perfect  tobacco,  and 


LOOSE  CASH  79 

now  almost  despaired  of  doing  so  ;  described 
the  different  flavours  which  he  desired. 
George,  listening  from  the  shop  parlour,  asked 
permission  of  his  mother  to  make  a  few  ex- 
periments ;  she  gave  her  consent,  on  the  under- 
standing that  there  should  be  no  waste.  The 
results,  tried  in  the  celebrated  actor's  pipe, 
gained  emphatic  approval,  and  George  sug- 
gested a  letter  should  be  written  from  the 
Theatre  embodying  these  compliments  and 
bearing  a  signature.  The  letter  was  framed, 
set  in  the  window.  Within  a  week  Mrs. 
Rollinson  found  herself  compelled  to  engage 
the  services  of  an  assistant  on  the  tobacco 
side,  a  worthy,  well-favoured  man  who  thence- 
forth for  many  years,  in  accepting  his  wages 
on  Saturday  nights,  made  a  proposal  of 
marriage  to  her.  Mrs.  Rollinson  declined, 
in  set  form,  on  the  grounds  that  she  wished 
to  look  after  George. 

'  Very  well  then,"  he  would  say  resignedly. 
"  Then  I  s'pose  I  must  wait." 

On  a  Saturday  when  George  brought  a 
young  lady  from  High  Street,  Marylebone, 
to  the  shop,  and  introduced  her  to  his 
mother  with  the  remark,  "I  want  you  two 
to  be  friends !  "  Mrs.  Rollinson,  greatly 


80  LOOSE  CASH 

upset,  perturbed  the  assistant  by  giving 
in  reply  to  the  usual  question  an  unusual 
answer.  He  went  out  of  the  shop  in  a  dazed 
condition,  and  on  the  Monday  morning  a 
letter  came  from  him,  stating  that,  on  re- 
flection, he  decided  he  was  unworthy  of  the 
great  honour,  and  he  hoped  Mrs.  Eollinson 
would  not  mind  if,  instead,  he  sailed  for 
Canada. 

"  It's  all  for  the  best !  "  said  Mrs.  Kollinson. 
After  going  to  chapel  twice  on  the  intervening 
Sunday,  she  was  regarding  the  possibility  of 
the  engagement  of  her  son  with  greater  calm. 
"  George  will  have  to  work  harder,  and  I'm 
good  for  several  years  yet.  We  shall  rub 
along  all  right.  He  needn't  get  married  until 
he's  thirty.  It's  quite  fashionable  nowadays 
for  gentlemen  to  wait  until  they're  getting  on 
in  life." 

She  told  him  that  her  first  criticism  of 
the  girl  had  been  made  on  the  impulse  of  the 
moment :  she  now  begged  to  withdraw  the 
word  "  minx  "  and  to  substitute  a  more  flatter- 
ing noun. 

'  Very  glad  to  hear  you  say  that,  mother. 
She's  a  girl  with  most  wonderful  ideas  in  her 
head." 


LOOSE  CASH  81 

'  That  doesn't  matter,"  replied  Mrs.  Kollin- 
son  tolerantly,  "  Bo  long  as  she  leaves  them 
there. 

'What  I  mean  is,  extraordinarily  am- 
bitious." 

"  I'm  like  that,  too,"  she  remarked.    "  IVe 
set  my  'eart  on  having  the  front  of  the  shop 
done  up  this  spring.    Me  and  her  will  get  on 
>apitally   together.    Make  your  mind   quite 
easy.    She  can  come  here  every  Christmas  day 
and  now  and  again  on  Sundays— but  not  too 
often-and  when  eventually  you  get  married, 
why,  if  all  goes  well,  I'll  retire  and  I'll  leave 
you  the  business.    Can't  say  fairer  than  that 
can  I  ?  ' 

"Mother,"  the  lad  blurted  out,  "she 
wanted  it  to  be  a  secret  for  a  time,  but  I  can't 
keep  it  back  from  you.  We're  married 
already  !  '• 

'No,  George,  my  boy.  That  isn't  true, 
surely  !  'J 

"  I  take  all  the  responsibility,"  he  went  on, 
'  but  she  said  it  was  no  use  letting  the  grass 
grow  under  our  feet." 

"  I  wish,"  said  Mrs.  Rollinson  aside,  to  the 
negro  figure  in  the  corner,  "  that  grass  was 
growing  over  her  head  !  " 
6 


82  LOOSE  CASH 

This  was  the  final  word  of  a  vehement 
nature  that  George's  mother  used  in  regard 
to  her  daughter-in-law.  When  she  took  some 
of  the  furniture,  and  rode  away  on  the  tail  of 
the  van  to  Chalk  Farm,  she  told  the  middle- 
aged  man  with  the  green  baize  apron  that 
there  was  nothing  like  retiring  from  business 
whilst  one  was  still  capable  of  enjoying  life : 
to  the  lady  who  owned  the  house  where  the 
furniture  was  unloaded  she  mentioned,  in 
taking  possession  of  the  two  rooms  on  the 
ground  floor,  that  her  only  visitors  would  be 
her  son  and  her  son's  wife  ;  she  hoped  they 
would  be  in  and  out  of  the  place  frequently. 
Mrs.  Rollinson  gave  a  short,  enthusiastic 
description  of  the  bride  and  remarked  that 
she  already  looked  upon  the  girl  as  her  own 
daughter. 

"  It'll  be  a  comfort  to  me,  ma'am,"  said 
the  landlady  mournfully,  "  to  have  a  merry 
party  about  the  house.  The  only  thing  is — 
I  don't  mean  anything  personal — but  I've 
generally  found  that  when  parties  were  cheer- 
ful, they  turned  out  to  be  rather  bad  payers." 

Mrs.  Rollinson  produced  her  pass-book ; 
exhibited  figures  showing  the  balance  to  her 
credit. 


LOOSE  CASH  83 

"  That's  good  enough,"  said  the  other,  with 
something  like  rapture.  She  was  leaving  the 
room,  but  curiosity  detained  her  at  the  edge 
of  the  carpet.  'You  must  have  had  some 
rare  strokes  of  luck,  in  your  day,  ma'am !  " 

Mrs.  Rollinson  shook  her  head  resolutely. 
"  It's  all  been  saved  out  of  hard  work/'  she 
declared. 

"  I  was  half  hoping,"  remarked  the  land- 
lady, relapsing  into  gloom,  "  it  was  a  case 
of  easy  come,  easy  go  !  'j 

The  expected  callers  did  not  arrive  on  the 
first  Sunday  afternoon,  although  tea  was 
prepared,  crumpets  ready,  and  Mrs.  Rollinson 
had  rehearsed  several  amiable  speeches  to  be 
addressed  to  her  daughter-in-law.  So  soon 
as  it  became  dusk  she  walked  down  to 
Southampton  Row,  and  from  the  opposite  side 
of  the  roadway  took  a  view.  The  shop  was 
shuttered,  and,  alarmed  by  this — Sunday 
evening  was  one  of  the  best  times  for  receipts 
—she  crossed,  and  read  the  notice.  Retail 
Department  Closed,  said  the  bills.  Central 
Office  of  the  English  Tobacco  Syndicate. 
Branches  all  over  the  Country.  Capital — and 
here  so  many  figures  (mainly  noughts)  that 
Mrs.  Rollinson  could  not  reckon  them. 


84  LOOSE  CASH 

"  Slippery  money/'  she  said,  on  the  way 
home.  She  paid  the  cabman  in  threepenny 
pieces,  and  he  remarked  that  she  might  as 
well  also  hand  over  the  offertory  bag. 

Young  Mrs.  George  Rollinson  delayed  her 
call  for  nearly  two  years,  and  then  she  had 
no  occasion  to  pay  a  fare  ;  her  manner  when, 
on  leaving  Chalk  Farm,  she  said  to  the  coach- 
man— 

"  Home,  Watson  !  " 

— Was,  in  itself,  proof  of  the  ease  with  which 
cultured  habits  can  be  acquired  by  those  who 
set  their  minds  to  the  task.  Before  going  she, 
prefacing  by  the  remark  that  she  had  called 
for  a  quiet  chat,  spoke  at  length  and  with 
great  rapidity.  They  were  living,  George  and 
herself,  up  West ;  Mrs.  Kollinson  observed 
that  the  exact  address  was  not  tendered,  and 
a  return  call  was  evidently  unnecessary.  The 
present  scheme  was  going  on  remarkably  well, 
astonishingly  well,  amazingly  well,  and  young 
Mrs.  Rollinson  had  special  cause  for  gratifica- 
tion in  that  it  originated  with  her.  For 
various  reasons  that  her  mother-in-law  would 
not  understand,  if  explained,  the  present 
scheme  had  taken  the  place  of  the  old  one,  and 
a  still  newer  one  was  in  contemplation.  George 


LOOSE  CASH  85 

and  his  City  friends  knew  how  to  manage 
these  affairs  to  the  best  advantage.  Un- 
fortunately, it  seemed  likely  the  public  might 
exhibit  a  certain  reticence  when  the  new  idea 
was  submitted  to  them,  and  investors  would 
only  become  eager  when  they  discovered  that 
the  shares,  or  most  of  them,  had  been  privately 
subscribed.  Just  as  many  people  only  wanted 
to  go  to  theatres  where  the  notice  "  House 
Full "  was  exhibited,  so  some  did  not  apply 
for  shares  unless  they  anticipated  difficulty 
in  procuring  them. 

"  And  George,"  said  young  Mrs.  Rollinson, 
refastening  her  fur  coat,  "  is  anxious  to  show 
he  had  not  forgotten  you,  and  he  asked  me 
to  say  that,  for  the  sake  of  old  times,  he  is 

quite  willing  to  let  you  take  up " 

'  You  tell  George,"  interrupted  his  mother, 
"  that  whenever  the  time  arrives  that  he 
wants  to  be  kept  out  of  the  workhouse,  he 
can  come  along  to  me  ! }i 

I  think  I  said  something  in  approval  of 
young  Mrs.  Rollinson's  manner  of  giving 
instructions  to  her  coachman.  To  be  exact, 
it  ought  to  be  mentioned  that  there  was  a 
distinct  trace  of  asperity  in  her  tones. 

Young  Mrs.  Rollinson  said  "  Home,  Wat- 


86  LOOSE  CASH 

son  !  "  on  a  good  many  occasions,  and  at 
various  places,  before  the  one  evening  when  she 
gave  to  the  coachman  a  different  destination  ; 
the  two  well-matched  horses  broke  down  the 
austere  behaviour  of  a  life-time  by  winking 
at  each  other.  George  arrived  at  Chalk 
Farm  by  yellow  omnibus,  that  night,  after  his 
mother  had  gone  to  rest  in  the  back  room  ; 
she  came  out  with  no  indication  of  surprise, 
and  started  at  once  to  make  up  a  bed  for  him 
on  the  sofa.  He  seemed  inclined  to  retain 
possession  of  his  silk  hat,  partly  that  he  might 
gaze  into  it  as  he  gave  halting  explanations, 
but  his  mother  wrested  this  from  him,  and 
ordered  him  to  make  himself  at  home. 

"  I  never  heard  for  certain,"  she  said,  when 
he  had  come  to  an  end  of  the  list  of  disasters, 
"  but  are  there  any  children  ?  ' 

George  shook  his  head  negatively. 

'  That's  just  as  well,"  she  remarked,  with 
cheerfulness.  "  Now  promise  me,  George, 
before  we  settle  anything  else :  don't  divorce 
her." 

"I'm  willing  to  give  you  my  word,  mother." 

"  Good  !  "  she  said.  "  That  means  the 
trouble  is  over.  No  more  Rollinsons  will  have 
to  undergo  the  test.  Other  people  will,  but 


LOOSE  CASH  87 

not  a  Eollinson.  Something  seems  to  tell 
me  that  I  shall  out-live  you,  and  I  shall  make 
it  my  business  to  see  that  you  earn  honestly 
every  penny  you  require." 

The  single  worry  that  came  later  was  when 
Merry  Hampton  won  the  Derby.  Mrs.  Kollin- 
son  allowed  George  one  speculation  a  year 
in  the  form  of  a  half-crown  ticket  for  a 
sweep-stake ;  prospects  of  success  appeared 
sufficiently  remote.  George,  on  the  canal 
bridge  in  High  Street,  was  exhibiting  to  a 
friend  his  winnings  when  the  sovereigns  slipped 
through  his  fingers,  and  disappeared  in  the 
water  below.  The  friend,  taking  the  situation 
with  great  good-humour,  remarked  that  it 
looked  like  a  case  of  felo  s.  d. 


VI 


THEY  came  separately,  and  rather  stealthily, 
to  the  restaurant  in  Little  Compton  Street, 
giving  a  cautious  look  up  and  down  the  street 
before  entering.  Many  folk  in  Soho  wear  the 
brims  of  soft  hats  flattened  down  over  eyes, 
carry  hands  deep  in  overcoat  pockets,  and 
walk  close  to  shop  windows,  hesitating  slightly 
before  turning  a  corner.  The  restaurant 
patrons  did  not  belong  to  this  type.  Some 
of  the  early-comers  spoke  to  a  constable, 
and  said,  exhibiting  an  envelope,  because 
they  mistrusted  their  French  accent : 

'  Which  do  you  reckon  now  is  my  best 
way  to  get  to  this  address  ?  >: 

The  policeman,  pointing  a  gloved  hand  to 
the  large  window  that  had  muslin  curtains 
of  the  previous  summer,  replied  : 

"  If  you  ain't  careful,  sir,  it'll  bite  you." 
The  constable,  after  the  first  inquiries,  was 

88 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER     89 

able  to  recognise  the  type  and,  interrupting 
the  question,  indicated  the  doorway  silently 
with  a  nod  of  his  helmet  without  interrupting 
the  task  of  slapping  his  shoulder  ;  he  men- 
tioned to  an  anxious  younger  colleague  who 
came  up  and  put  an  inquiry  that  they  were 
not  in  his  opinion  so  much  Anarchists  as 
country  gents  out  on  the  spree.  Inside  the 
Restaurant  Chicot  the  head  waiter  had  also 
gained  experience,  and,  as  the  visitors  arrived, 
he  said,  "  Mr.  Aumairst,  yes  ?  "  and  with  a 
bow  led  the  way  to  a  long  table,  that  had 
originally  been  three,  at  the  end  of  the  large 
room.  Chairs  leaned  forward  in  the  attitude 
of  saying  grace,  and  these  were  pulled  back 
by  the  head  waiter,  whilst  a  short  page-boy 
stood  on  tiptoe  to  assist  the  guests  in  re- 
moving overcoats,  mufflers,  and  hats. 
Guarded  salutations — "  Hullo,  Burnham,  old 
man  !  What  sort  of  an  east  wind  blew  you 
in  here  ?  " — and  newcomers  examined  the 
menu  card  with  a  puzzled  air,  giving  it  all  up 
after  a  cursory  examination  excepting  the 
plum-pudding  item,  and  joined  the  rest  in 
taking  a  seat  and  in  looking  over  the  shoulder. 
"I'd  no  notion  we  were  to  be  all  of  us 
invited.  What's  the  idea  ?  " 


-90     PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

"  H.  A."  was  the  reply,  in  confident  tones. 
"  H.  A.  knows  what  he's  up  to." 

"  I  quite  feel  that  about  him.  Apart  from 
liking  to  show  off,  and  not  being  able  to  afford 
to  do  it,  old  Amherst  is  no  fool.  But  whilst 
I  know  that  he  knows  what  he's  up  to,  I 
•can't  say  that  I  always  know  what  he  knows 

about  knowing See  what  I  mean,  don't 

you  ?     Is    this    him,    in    the   Russian-bear 
oostume  ?  *' 

Mr.  Amherst,  in  a  brand-new  fur-lined 
•overcoat,  was  scarcely  the  man  to  deprive  the 
public  of  a  full  view  of  it,  and  he  resisted  the 
page-boy's  attempt  to  take  possession  at 
the  door.  Diners  at  other  tables  glanced  up. 
Two  matronly  ladies  at  the  corner  said  some- 
thing in  a  foreign  language  and  suspended 
the  rule  which  orders  that  one  should  not 
laugh  at  one's  own  jokes.  Men  gave  their 
oloser  attention  to  the  trim  young  figure  in 
a  small  sealskin  cap  and  warm  costume  who 
followed  so  soon  as  Mr.  Amherst 's  whirling 
arms  made  it  safe  to  do  so. 

"  Gentlemen,"  he  said,  advancing  to  the 
long  table,  with  the  air  of  making  a  speech, 
"  I  have  to  apologise  for  being  somewhat  late 
on  the  Rialto,  so  to  speak,  but You've 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER     91 

met  my  daughter.  Waiter,  another  chair  !  " 
They  rose,  and  she  nodded  pleasantly,  giving 
to  one  her  muff,  another  her  cloak,  a  third  her 
gloves.  "  I  particularly  wanted  her  to  come 
along,  and  it  occupied  some  little  time  to 
induce  her  to  obey  my  request.  She's  all 
I've  got  now,  you  see."  He  sat  down  heavily 
at  the  top  of  the  table.  "  Now  then,  my 
lad,"  to  the  attendant,  in  a  pained  manner, 
"  we  all  seem  to  be  waiting,  except  you. 
How  much  longer  before  the  soup  comes  ?  '' 

Miss  Amherst,  at  the  other  end  of  the 
table,  explained  to  neighbours  that  her  father's 
account  was  inexact  in  certain  particulars. 
What  had  really  happened  was  that  she  found 
he  intended  her  to  stop  at  the  hotel  and  dine 
alone. 

"  He  generally  gets  his  own  way,"  remarked 
one. 

"  Not  if  it  happens  to  differ  from  mine," 
she  said. 

"  Did  he  tell  you,  by  any  chance,"  lowering 
voices,  and  speaking  confidentially,  "  what 
the  motive  was  for  asking  us  all  here  this 
evening  ?  ' 

"  I  understood  it  was  that  you  should  eat 
a  dinner."  They  shook  their  heads  to  convey 


92     PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

that  the  information  was  not  complete,  and 
followed  her  lead  in  the  management  of  the 
whitebait. 

Near  Mr.  Amherst,  the  talk,  managed  and 
directed  by  him,  was  devoted  to  the  political 
situation.  The  host  submitted  a  practical 
method  of  solving  the  difficulty  of  which  he 
spoke  as  one  owning  the  patent  rights  ;  put 
more  briefly  than  he  explained  it,  it  was  to 
convey  the  principal  members  of  the  party 
with  which  he  was  not  in  agreement  to  New- 
gate on  a  convenient  Monday  morning,  and 
hang  them,  one  after  the  other.  Near  Miss 
Amherst  conversation  was  on  a  less  remote 
subject,  and  her  admirable  acquaintance  with 
details  enabled  them  to  speak  freely.  Once 
she  disputed  a  question  concerning  the  Totten- 
ham Hotspurs,  and,  obtaining  silence  by 
rapping  a  spoon,  submitted  it  for  decision  to 
her  father. 

"  My  dear,"  he  answered  deferentially, 
"  we  don't  want  to  talk  shop.  Not  just  yet 
awhile,  at  any  rate." 

His  guests  glanced  meaningly  at  each 
other. 

"  Good  gracious  !  "  he  cried,  to  a  good- 
looking  waiter  with  a  large  black  moustache 


PEICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTEE     93 

and  a  head  of  hair  like  a  clothes  brush,  "  what 
are  you  standing  there  gazing  at  me  in  such 
a  melancholy  way  for  ?  ' 

'  Ver'  sorry,"  said  the  young  waiter. 

"  You  look  it !  " 

His  nearest  guests  applauded  the  wit  and 
readiness  of  the  retort.  Other  tables  cleared ; 
folk  hurried  off  to  theatres.  The  head  waiter 
ordered  the  moustached  youth  to  turn  off 
some  of  the  lights. 

"  Now,  gentlemen !  "  Mr.  Amherst,  leaning 
elbows  on  the  table  as  coffee  and  liqueurs  were 
served,  cleared  his  throat,  and  sent  a  com- 
manding glance  up  and  down.  "  My  dear" — 
to  his  daughter,  who  was  looking  at  the 
waiter — "  have  I  your  attention  ?  ' 

"  Not  yet,  father." 

'  The  presence  of  a  lady,"  he  said  to  the 
others,  "  need  not  interfere  with  the  flow  of 
conversation.  I  want  you  to  make  yourselves 
thoroughly  at  home,  and  do  just  as  you  please. 
We  can  wish  each  other  a  happy  New  Year 
later  on  in  the  evening.  But  first  of  all 
there's  one  small  matter  I  wish  to  bring  before 
your  notice."  They  put  hands  to  ears,  in 
the  attitude  of  men  anxious  to  gain  every 
word.  He  leaned  back  in  his  chair  and  came 


94     PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

forward  once  more  ;  his  chin  went  out  and 
he  fired  a  name  down  the  table.  They  twisted 
chairs  promptly  in  his  direction. 

"  Yes,"  gratified  by  their  astonishment, 
"  big  game,  I  admit,  but  it's  what  I'm  after. 
Other  clubs  may  be  on  the  same  track,  and 
therefore  what  we  want  first  of  all  is  absolute 
secrecy.  If  you're  prepared  to  back  me  up 
I'll  promise  to  see  it  through,  but  there  must 
be  no  cackle,  no  chatterboxing,  no  talking  to 
wives,  or  what  not.  Not  a  single  word  uttered 
away  from  this  table/' 

"  They  won't  let  him  go." 

"  Who  said  that  ?  "  The  others,  much  in 
the  manner  of  schoolboys,  indicated  Burnham. 

"  I  believe,"  said  Mr.  Amherst—  "  set  me 
right  if  I'm  wrong — but  I  believe  I'm  Chair- 
man. Unless  I'm  woefully  mistaken,  I  was 
made  Chairman  about  four  years  ago,  at  a 
time  when  the  club  was  right  out  on  the  rocks. 
It  had  got  a  past,  but  no  present.  If  my 
memory  serves  me  right,  I  made  it  a  small 
present.  I  bought  shares  when  no  one  else 
was  prepared  to  do  so.  And  since  that  time, 
what  has  the  club  done  ?  '  He  put  out  the 
fingers  of  one  hand  and  prepared  to  recite  the 
successes.  His  daughter  coughed. 


PEICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER     95 

"  I  was  only  going  to  run  through  the  list, 
my  dear." 

"You  can  save  yourself  the  trouble/'  she  said, 

"  Now,  having  arrived  at  this  point,"  ad- 
dressing the  table,  "  I  ask  myself  the  question,, 
where  are  we  weak  ?  Where  are  we  deficient  ? 
Where  are  we " 

He  was  so  much  annoyed  at  their  im- 
patience in  anticipating  him  by  giving  the 
answer,  that  he  found  himself  obliged  to  apply 
a  match  to  his  cigar,  which  was  still  alight. 

'  Very  well,  then,"  reluctantly.  "Dis- 
covering this,  I  look  around  and  I  endeavour 
to  find  out  the  best  man  available." 

"  Mr.  Pangbourne,"  said  Burnham,  taking 
heart,  "  would  no  more  think " 

Mr.  Amherst  snapped  finger  and  thumb. 

"  That  for  Master  Willie  Pangbourne,"  he 
shouted.  "  No,  no,"  irritably,  to  the 
moustached  waiter,  "  I  didn't  call  you.  Go 
away  and  catch  flies.  I  think,  gentlemen,"" 
turning  to  the  others,  "  that  when  I  tell  you 
I've  known  young  Pangbourne  since  he  was- 
so  high,  and  that  not  long  ago  I  had  to  order 
him  out  of  my  house " 

"  Did  he  go  ?  "  asked  the  quiet  voice  at  the 
other  end. 


96     PKICE   OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

"  In  point  of  fact  he  didn't  go,  Mary,  my 
dear  ;  but  I  distinctly  ordered  him  to  go.  I 
don't  mind  a  young  man  differing  from  me 
about  politics,  but  there's  a  way  of  doing  it. 
What  I  want  to  say  is  that  Pangbourne  isn't 
everybody.  I  can  bring  influence  to  bear  on 
his  directors.  I've  been  accustomed  to  oppo- 
sition all  my  life,  and  I'm  not  afraid  of  it. 
The  only  question  is," — he  took  a  pear  from 
the  glass  dish  and  shook  it  threateningly — 
"  how  to  raise  the  money." 

The  guests  glanced  at  each  other  and  became 
intent  upon  cigars.  One  or  two  wetted  fingers 
and  adjusted  an  unbroken  leaf,  thus  escaping 
the  inquiring  look  sent  by  Mr.  Amherst. 

"  Tell  you  what,"  he  cried,  "  I'll  put  down 
a  trifle  to  make  a  start."  He  called  to  the 
waiter  and  said  in  a  loud,  distinct  voice, 
"  Onker."  The  other  seemed  puzzled,  and 
the  girl  translated.  The  waiter  brought  ink, 
and  on  it  being  pointed  out,  somewhat  bitterly, 
that  this,  by  itself,  was  of  little  use,  found 
pen  and  paper. 

"  There  you  are,"  said  Mr.  Amherst  jovially. 
"  Now  pass  it  down  this  side  and  up  the 
other.  This  is  a  tiled  meeting,  remember.'' 
He  sat  back  and  gazed  at  some  cupids  painted 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER     97 

high  up  on  the  walls  ;  the  models  apparently 
engaged  after  [they  had  dined  at  the 
restaurant.  A  nudge  presently  at  his  elbow 
told  him  the  list  had  'returned.  He  put 
on  his  pince-nez  and  inspected  it.  "  Henry 
Amherst,  £50,"  was  the  first  item ;  the  only 
other  entry  was  in  pencil,  "Mary  Amherst, 
threepence." 

"  And  this,"  he  said  bitterly,  "  is,  I  suppose, 
what  you  call  backing  up  the  Chairman. 
Well,  you're  the  best  judges  of  your  own 
actions.  I  never  dictate  to  other  people." 

A  murmur  indicated  doubt. 

"  Idea  seems  to  be,  sir,"  mentioned  Burn- 
ham,  "  that  we  ought  to  leave  well  alone." 
A  few  shy  "  Hear  hears."  !<  We're  very 
much  obliged  to  you,  Mr.  Amherst,  for  your 
kind  hospitality,  and  we've  enjoyed  meeting 
at  your  festive  board — if  I  may  be  allowed 
to  use  such  an  expression  at  this  time  of  the 
year — but  you  must  understand  we've  none  of 
us  got  money  to  throw  away.  We're  devoted 
to  footer,  same  as  you  are,  and  we've  planked 
down  as  much  as  we  could  afford.  We're 
pretty  safe  to  cut  a  very  fair  figure  this  year, 
and " 

"  Burnham,"    interrupted    Mr.    Amherst, 


98     PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTEE 

"  you'll  excuse  me,  but  perhaps  you  don't 
mind  if  I  just  say  one  syllable."  He  ap- 
peared to  be  under  the  impression  that  his 
voice  had  not  hitherto  been  heard.  "  I've  a 
great  respect  for  you.  You've  got  a  shop  in 
the  borough  that  you've  worked  up  from 
small  beginnings,  and,  so  far  as  I  know,  you've 
always  paid  your  way." 

"  Come  on,"  said  Burnham  desperately. 
"  Let's  hear  what  you  are  going  to  say  on  the 
other  side." 

'  What  I'm  going  to  say  on  the  other  side 
is  simply  this.  That,  with  all  your  estimable 
qualities,  I've  never,  for  a  single,  solitary 
moment,  looked  on  you  as  anything  but  a 
fool." 

"  Father,"  reminded  the  girl,  "  these  gentle- 
men are  your  guests." 

"  If  you  are  so  jolly  keen  on  it,"  said  Burn- 
ham,  with  spirit,  "  and  if  you  particularly 
want  to  strengthen  our  team  next  season,  why 
don't  you  put  all  the  money  down,  and  buy 
James  Me  Winter  for  us  ?  ' 

Mr.  Amherst  struck  the  table  with  the  side 
of  his  large  fist. 

"  Just,"  he  declared  emphatically,  "  just 
exactly  what  I  intend  to  do." 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER     99 

The  waiter  came  forward  in  the  character 
of  a  hat-stand,  and  Mr.  Amherst,  grabbing  at 
the  nearest,  found  his  irritation  in  no  way 
lessened  on  discovering  that  it  was  headgear 
of  insufficient  size.  Mary  Amherst,  turning 
to  the  waiter  who  stood  now  arms  filled  with 
overcoats,  remarked  pleasantly  that  a  night 
like  this  must  surely  make  him  think  of  the 
clear  blue  skies  and  the  dazzling  sunshine  of 
his  native  country  ;  the  waiter  appeared  to 
have  acquired  some  of  the  useful  idioms  of 
the  country,  for  he  said  in  appealing  under- 
tones, "Half-time,  half-time!"  The  head 
waiter  came  with  the  bill,  which  Mr.  Amherst, 
in  his  annoyance,  had  forgotten.  Miss  Am- 
herst was  called  upon  to  check  the  addition, 
and  it  became  her  duty  to  point  out  that  the 
head  waiter  had  by  an  excusable  oversight 
in  making  a  total  reckoned  the  date  at  the 
top.  This  remedied,  with  profuse  apologies, 
the  party  was  conducted  to  the  doorway. 

"  Also  I  don't  mind  telling  you/'  said  her 
father,  speaking  outside  as  though  no  interval 
had  occurred  since  his  last  decisive  remark, 
"  exactly  how  much  I'm  prepared  to  go  up  to." 
He  named  a  figure.  "  Not  a  farthing  more,"  he 
declared  resolutely.  "  What's  that,  my  dear  ?  " 


100    PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

"  Only  saying,  father,  that  I  was  quite  sure 
you  couldn't  afford  it." 

"  That  is  my  business,  Mary." 

"  It  was  the  business  I  was  thinking  about." 

Mr.  Amherst,  never  one  to  allow  pasture  land 
to  flourish  extensively  under  his  boots,  wrote 
a  letter  that  night,  posted  it  at  the  corner  of 
Trafalgar  Square,  and  walked  three  times 
around  the  pedestal  of  the  Nelson  Statue, 
partly  because  he  had  a  great  belief  in  the 
value  of  exercise,  partly  to  enjoy  the  thought 
that  he  had,  in  sending  the  note,  started  the 
ball  a-rolling.  Coming  into  the  hotel  he  was 
told  by  the  porter  that  Miss  Amherst  had 
retired  to  rest,  and  he  went  upstairs  humming 
cheerfully.  The  porter,  it  would  seem,  had 
been  misinformed,  for  later  the  girl  was 
leaning  over  the  low  balcony  chatting  with  a 
youth  who  carried  a  kit  bag.  You  would  have 
said  he  was  the  young  waiter  at  the  Soho 
Restaurant,  only  that  he  wore  no  moustache 
and  she  called  him  Willie,  which,  as  one 
knows,  is  rarely  counted  an  Italian  name. 

"  It's  all  right,  dear  girl,"  he  said.  "  Now 
that  I  know  his  limit,  I  can  easily  arrange." 

"  I  don't  want  him  to  waste  his  money," 
she  explained. 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER    101 

"  Leave  everything  to  me,"  he  begged. 
"  Don't  forget  the  match  to-morrow.  By 
the  by,  just  go  in  and  borrow  a  lucifer  for  me. 
My  box  is  empty." 

She  returned  with  a  supply  taken  from  the 
smoking-room,  and  leaning  over  the  balcony 
struck  one  and  just  managed  to  reach  his 
cigar.  No  one  was  about,  excepting  the  driver 
of  a  four-wheeler  on  the  rank  opposite  ;  the 
cabman  remarked  confidentially  to  his  horse : 
"Romeo  and  Juliet.  Played  nightly  all  over 
the  blooming  world."  The  horse  waggled  his 
nose-bag  to  show  that  he,  too,  was  acquainted 
with  standard  literature. 

Mr.  Amherst  had  announced  the  intention 
of  taking  his  daughter  home  by  the  eight- 
thirty  the  following  morning,  and  she  was  to 
knock  at  the  wall  not  later  than  half-past 
seven  ;  Miss  Amherst  was  able  at  nine  o'clock 
breakfast  to  exhibit  her  watch  and  blame  it 
for  her  omission.  She  read  from  a  morning 
paper  the  fixtures  of  the  day,  repeating  the 
announcement  concerning  the  match,  where- 
upon her  father  announced  that  he  was  as 
ready  to  be  hanged  for  a  sheep  as  for  a  lamb, 
and  gave  her  permission  to  catch  the  ten-five, 
and  to  travel  alone.  Miss  Amherst  agreed, 


but  finding  in  another  part  of  the  journal  an 
account  of  a  deplorable  case  of  a  communica- 
tion cord  refusing  to  act,  became  suddenly 
terrified  and  begged  her  father  to  accompany 
her.  He  said  "  No  ! fi  There  was  reason  in 
all  things.  Devoted  as  he  was  to  his  daughter, 
and  ready  as  he  might  be  to  make  sacrifices, 
this  was  asking  too  much.  He  had  decided 
to  see  James  Me  Winter  play  once  more,  before 
advancing  a  further  stage  in  the  negotiations, 
and  the  opportunity  was  one  not  to  be  missed. 

"  But  I  tell  you  what,  Mary,"  he  said 
firmly  ;  "  you  do  somo  shopping,  buy  presents 
for  relatives,  and  we  can  both  go  back 
together  this  evening." 

"  The  best  places  in  London  close  on  Satur- 
day afternoons." 

'  Then  come  to  the  match  with  me." 

"  I  suppose  I'd  better,"  she  said. 

In  London  you  see  no  such  spectacle  as  can 
be  witnessed  in  Midland  and  Northern  towns, 
with  the  entire  male  population  walking  solidly 
in  one  direction,  returning  later  in  less  regular 
order,  and  excited  or  depressed  according  to 
the  fate  of  the  home  team.  All  the  same,  the 
compartments  of  the  suburban  train  were  well 
filled,  and  Mr.  Amherst,  fearful  of  being  de- 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER,    103 

layed,  shouted  on  the  crowded  platform  an 
instruction  to  his  daughter. 

"  Look  after  yourself  !  " 

An  instruction  she  complied  with  the  more 
readily  because  a  hand  waved  to  her  from  a 
carriage  next  to  the  engine.  Half  a  dozen 
young  men  sprang  up  and  offered  places  ; 
she  thanked  them,  and,  apparently  anxious 
not  to  be  accused  of  favouritism,  decided  to 
hold  by  the  rack  and  talk  to  young  Pang- 
bourne.  As  the  train  took  a  curve  he  had  to 
hold  her  by  the  arm,  but  this  she  did  not  seem 
to  mind.  Pangbourne's  directors  were,  of 
course,  to  be  present  at  the  game.  A  hurried 
conference  had  taken  place  that  morning  in 
the  waiting-room  of  a  London  terminal  station, 
and  the  price  of  James  Me  Winter,  on  Mr. 
Pangbourne's  urgent  suggestion,  had  been 
fixed  at  a  price  that  far  exceeded  the  limit 
mentioned  by  Miss  Amherst's  father. 

"  That's  capital !  "  she  declared  gratefully — 
"  capital  in  more  senses  than  one.  You  see, 
Willie,  I  can  remember  the  time  when  we  were 
hard  up  at  home,  and  I  recollect  how  my 
mother  had  to  scheme  and  contrive.  I  don't 
want  to  find  myself  going  back.  And  the 
sum  represents  such  an  awful  lot  of  money. 


104    PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

Football's  a  good  sport,  but  there  are  other 
games." 

"  Marriage,  for  instance  ?  ' 

"  We  can  talk  of  that,"  she  said  com- 
posedly, "later  on.  Let's  settle  one  matter 
first.  We  mustn't  be  seen  talking  to  each 
other,  mind." 

Mr.  Amherst  apologised  to  his  daughter,  as 
they  made  their  way  to  the  entrance  to  the 
ground,  for  his  apparent  neglect,  and  she 
accepted  his  excuses  so  readily  that  he  felt 
bound  to  point  out  that,  in  a  general  way, 
he  did  look  after  her  very  carefully,  adding 
that  there  was  no  one  else  to  do  this.  Every- 
thing, said  Mr.  Amherst,  with  a  touch  of 
importance  and  a  hint  at  real  affection,  de- 
volved upon  him,  and  he  was  not  the  man  to 
flinch  responsibilities.  She  inquired,  defer- 
entially, whether  he  considered  it  wise  to  pay 
out  such  a  large  sum  of  money  for  James 
Me  Winter.  He  replied  that  James  was  worth 
the  figure  mentioned  the  previous  night,  but 
not  a  penny,  not  a  halfpenny  more.  If  the 
other  club  began  to  haggle  and  bargain  and 
huckster,  he,  Mr.  Amherst,  would  instantly 
withdraw. 

"  And  what  I  say,"  he  declared,  "  as  you 


PEICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER    105 

very  well  know,  is  what  I  stick  to.  My  first 
word  is  my  last  word.  Is  that  so,  my  dear, 
or  isn't  it  ?  " 

'  You're  an  extraordinary  man,  father." 
He  appeared  content  with  this  vague  ad- 
mission. 

Quite  a  good  number  had  taken  advantage 
of  the  hospitable  offer  to  ladies,  and  Mr. 
Amherst,  in  spite  of  his  recent  declaration, 
showed  relief  on  encountering  the  wife  of 
another  director,  willing  and  ready  to  take 
charge  of  his  daughter.  Silk  hat  at  back  of 
head,  he  hurried  off.  "  Highly  important 
business  !  "  he  explained.  Mrs.  Burnham,  a 
matronly  person,  confessed  that  she  knew 
nothing  and  cared  nothing  for  the  game,  but 
had  to  affect  an  interest  in  order  to  make 
opportunity  of  keeping  an  eye  on  her  husband. 
Husbands  required  a  lot  of  watching.  Hus- 
bands were  kittle  cattle,  if  the  truth  was 
known.  Husbands  being  what  they  were, 
the  wonder  was  that  any  married  lady  re- 
mained in  possession  of  her  senses  ;  she  herself 
foresaw  clearly  the  time  when  she  would  be 
taken  away  to  the  County  Asylum.  Having 
said  all  this,  and  having  mentioned  that  she 
counted  herself  among  the  few  who  could 


106    PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

respect  and  keep  a  secret,  Mrs.  Burnham 
lowered  her  voice  that  folk  around  might  not 
hear,  and  urged  it  was  high  time  Miss  Amherst 
thought  of  getting  married.  Mrs.  Burnham 's 
advice  was  that  Miss  Amherst  should  pick  out 
some  desirable  young  gentleman  of  good  birth 
and  excellent  prospects. 

"  And  then  go  for  him/5  recommended  the 
matronly  lady,  with  earnestness.  "  Go  for 
him,  for  all  you  know.  Takes  a  bit  of  doing, 
of  course,  but  it's  worth  while." 

The  commencement  of  the  game  did  not 
interrupt  Mrs.  Burnham 's  counsel,  but  it 
interfered  with  the  girl's  power  of  giving 
attention.  Standing  on  a  chair  she  watched 
eagerly,  describing  the  progress  in  brief  ejacu- 
latory  sentences  to  her  chaperon  ;  joined  in 
the  appeals  of  a  few  members  of  the  crowd 
addressed  to  the  visiting  team  ;  refrained  from 
giving  assistance  to  the  majority  in  cheering 
and  encouraging  the  home  side.  Privately, 
she  criticised  James  Me  Winter,  who,  a  large 
young  man,  appeared  to  be  doing  as  little  as 
possible,  the  while  the  rest  scurried  about 
on  the  slightly  frosted  turfed  ground,  doing 
everything  in  a  strenuous  manner  with  no 
result.  What  a  football  crowd  likes  is  the 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER    107 

scoring  of  goals,  and  when  at  half-time  it 
proved  that  not  one  had  been  recorded  on 
either  side,  the  two  teams,  exhausted  and  limp 
(with  the  exception  of  James  Me  Winter)  were 
followed  by  regretful  looks  ;  men  described 
what  they  themselves  would  have  done,  if 
they  were  but  a  few  years  younger  or  older, 
and  less  occupied  with  other  affairs.  Mr. 
Amherst  bustled  around,  fanning  himself  with 
his  silk  hat,  and  looking  greatly  perturbed. 
He  mentioned  to  his  daughter  that  they  (mean- 
ing Pangbourne's  directors)  had  the  cheek  to 
ask  so  much — quoting  the  large  figure — that 
he  would  see  them  further  before  planking 
down  that  amount  ;  he  went  so  far  as  to  hint 
at  the  well-warmed  direction  they  could  select. 
The  teams  took  up  their  new  positions.  The 
whistle  sounded.  Before  Miss  Amherst  had 
disengaged  herself  from  her  companion's  in- 
quiries and  counsel,  the  outside  left,  amidst 
erroneous  cries  of  "  Off-side  !  "  centred  across 
to  the  inside  right,  who  centred  again,  and 
James  McWinter  trapped  the  ball,  dodged  the 
two  backs  and  shot  hard  ;  the  goalkeeper 
fumbled  it,  and  even  supporters  of  the  home 
side  could  scarce  restrain  a  cheer.  The  other 
team  prepared  for  a  change  of  tactics,  and  in 


108    PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

exactly  four  minutes  precisely  the  same 
thing  happened,  and  the  goalkeeper  dealt 
with  the  ball  in  almost  the  same  manner ; 
tears  stood  in  his  eyes  ;  he  glanced  with  re- 
proach at  his  gloves,  and  bowed  his  head 
penitently  to  the  observations  of  colleagues. 
Miss  Amherst  had  to  apologise  more  than  once 
when  crying  "  Shoot !  "  for  kicking  the  back 
of  a  stout  gentleman  standing  just  in  front  of 
her.  When  at  the  end  of  the  ninety  minutes' 
traffic  the  visiting  side  had  scored  five  to 
none,  and  four  of  these  goals  were  to  be 
credited  to  James  McWinter,  she  turned  to  her 
companion.  Her  father  was  in  a  kind  of  scrum 
not  far  off ;  she  recognised  the  light  in  his 
eyes  of  one  to  whom  money  was  of  no  con- 
sequence, and  into  her  eyes  came  the  light  of 
one  resolved  to  act  promptly.  Under  cover 
of  the  cheering,  she  made  an  enthusiastic  and 
apparently  genuine  declaration. 

"  Oh,  but,  my  dear,"  cried  Mrs.  Burnham 
alarmedly,  "  you  mustn't  talk  like  this.  This 
is  dreadful.  When  I  said  what  I  did  just  now, 
I  never  meant  you  should  go  and  throw  your- 
self away  on  a  great  clumsy  hulk  like  that, 
earning  not  more  than  £4  a  week.  Besides, 
his  people  are  meat  salesmen." 


PRICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER    109 

"I'm  not  a  vegetarian." 

Mr.  Amherst,  scarlet,  almost  blue  with 
eagerness,  was  hurrying  by. 

"  Not  a  word,  please,"  begged  the  girl, 
with  extravagant  signs  of  distress,  "  not  a 
syllable  to  my  father.  Promise  me  you  won't 
tell  him.  My  mind's  made  up  ;  but  I  don't 
want  him  to  know." 

Mrs.  Burnham  put  out  the  hooked  handle  of 
her  umbrella  and  caught  Mr.  Amherst  neatly. 
'  Very  sorry,"  he  panted,  "  can't  spare  a 
moment." 

'  You  just  come  here  first,"  ordered  the 
lady  resolutely.  :<  There's  something  you've 
got  to  know,  and  I  mean  to  tell  it  to  you 
before  I  go  and  look  after  my  husband.  I'm 
not  going  to  be  blamed  afterwards,  and  have 
you  say  it  was  my  fault." 

"  Do  hurry  up,"  begged  Mr.  Amherst 
piteously.  "  If  you  knew  how  urgent  it  all 
was,  you  wouldn't  chatter  on  like  this.  I'm 
going  to  give  them  whatever  they  ask  for 
him.  He's  a  bachelor,  and  he  won't  mind 
where  he  lives." 

'  Your  daughter,"  said  Mrs.  Burnham, 
speaking  with  tragic  emphasis,  "  tells  me 
— that  she's  fallen  in  love — at  first  sight — 


110    PKICE  OF  JAMES  McWINTER 

with  that  six  foot  three — called  James  Mc- 
Something — who's  been  kicking  the  ball — 
like  a  young  demon — between  the  two  posts. 
And  my  advice  to  you  is — keep  'em  well  apart 
— keep  'em  hundreds  of  miles  apart  from  each 
other  !  " 

*l*  *K  *n  *l*  H* 

Mr.  Pangbourne's  club,  with  the  aid  of 
James  and  the  rest,  made  its  way  later  into 
the  Second  League,  and  he  himself  secured 
three  well-paid  official  appointments  from 
the  Corporation  and  other  bodies,  who  were 
probably  actuated  by  feelings  of  gratitude  ; 
the  entire  town  joined  in  giving  him  and  Miss 
Amherst  a  notable  wedding  present.  Mr. 
Amherst,  now  honorary  secretary  of  the 
Bowling  Club,  has  married  a  lady  of  forty- 
five,  hitherto  interested  only  in  deep-sea 
fishermen.  And  all  intend  to  live  more  or 
less  happily  ever  afterwards. 


VII 
A  CASE   OF   SUSPICION 

IT  was  pleasant  to  get  about  the  square  of 
the  station — where  luggage  had  to  be  labelled 
and  heated  passengers  stormed  at  porters 
and  a  rather  stout  brass  bell  was  rung,  and 
where  at  moments  of  pressure  it  did  seem 
that  the  world  had  suddenly  gone  mad — 
pleasant  to  stroll  there  and  to  feel  you  were  one 
of  the  few  who  recognised  the  identity  of  the 
quiet  man  smoking  a  briar  pipe  and  carrying 
an  umbrella,  over  near  the  label  case.  He  was 
middle-aged,  with  an  unobtrusive  manner  ; 
in  the  summer  he  wore  a  straw  hat  sedately  ; 
he  seemed  to  be  always  waiting  for  a  train  that 
never  arrived.  If  a  loiterer  made  his  way 
into  the  station  and  stood  about  the  bookstall 
longer  than  seemed  necessary,  the  quiet  man 
would  go  near  to  him,  moving  when  he  moved, 
stopping  when  he  stopped,  and  losing  no  sight 

in 


112         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

of  him  until  he  went  off.  The  quiet  man 
had  apparently  no  friends,  and  the  staff 
addressed  him  rarely. 

Now  the  Station  Master's  boy  knew  that 
this  man  was  a  retired  member  of  the  police 
force,  the  plain-clothes  detective  attached  to 
the  terminus.  And  in  connection  with  a 
predecessor  of  this  mysterious  official  they 
told  him,  in  the  Up  Parcels  Office,  an  incident. 
***** 

Sergeant  Bellchambers  had  not  succeeded 
in  gaining  the  popularity  that  most  men,  in 
this  world,  desire,  but  one  or  two  of  his  first 
investigations  received  favourable  comment 
from  the  General  Manager,  and  this  repaid 
him  for  lack  of  sympathy  from  others.  It  was 
said  that  in  the  M.  division  they  had  been  glad 
to  see  him  take  his  pension  and  go,  the  opinion 
of  the  Inspector's  desk  being  that  Bell- 
chambers  was  a  born  muddler.  This  might 
have  been  the  invention  of  the  station  staff ; 
what  was  quite  certain  was  that  in  his  reports 
on  blue  paper  in  the  early  cases  referred  to  he 
fixed  blame  on  men  whom  the  station  con- 
sidered innocent,  and  these  men  were,  in 
consequence,  fined  or  reduced.  Moreover, 
he  had  not  been  content  with  singling  out 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         113 

individuals  and  recommending  them  for  the 
stocks,  but  he  condemned  an  entire  depart- 
ment ;  for  which  reason  the  station  said 
darkly : 

'  We  shall  "ave  to  get  our  own  back/* 
This  was  the  state  of  things  when  the  cigar 
robberies  began.  Parcels  of  cigars  came  up 
regularly  from  a  certain  firm  and  from  a  cer- 
tain local  station,  sometimes  for  delivery  in 
London,  sometimes  for  transfer  to  another 
railway  ;  one  parcel  in  four  reached  its  des- 
tination in  good  appearance  outwardly,  but 
with  part  of  the  contents  abstracted.  The 
firm  made  heavy  claims,  wrote  furious  letters, 
and  at  last  managed  to  get  a  communica- 
tion into  the  public  press  in  which  bitter 
reference  was  made  to  the  supineness  and 
slothful  behaviour  of  the  railway  company. 
The  Superintendent  of  the  Line  sent  for  Bell- 
chambers,  withdrawing  him  from  easy  duties 
on  the  station  square. 

'  The  only  question  is "  said  the  high 

official. 

''  Where  do  these  robberies  take  place  ?  " 
suggested  Bellchambers.  "  That's  the  point," 
he  added  sagely,  "  that's  what  we've  got  to 
get  at." 


114         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

'  What  is  your  opinion,  Sergeant  ?  ' 

Sergeant  Bellchambers  made  a  fine  pretence 
of  taking  thought  before  he  answered.  Then 
with  red-ink  pen  he  wrote  on  an  envelope  and 
passed  it  across  the  table. 

'  Up  Office,"  read  the  Superintendent. 

"•'Ush,"  said  Bellchambers  warningly. 

"  Do  you  think  you  can  find  the  thieves  ?  ' 

"If  I'm  given  a  free  hand/'  said  Bell- 
chambers,  "  and  no  quibble  raised,  sir,  about 
my  petty  disbursements." 

"  Go  in  and  win/'  said  the  Superintendent. 
"  When  do  you  start  ?  " 

"  This  very  night,  sir  ?  " 

"  Let  me  have  a  report  in  the  morning." 

That  evening  the  head  of  the  department 
sent  to  the  Up  Office  a  new  hand  to  assist 
the  late-duty  men.  He  was  black-bearded 
with  a  very  ruddy  face,  and  he  wore  a 
uniform  that  had  apparently  belonged  to  a 
shorter  and  a  slimmer  person.  His  name,  he 
said,  was  Edward  Jones,  but  the  Up  Office 
seemed  not  contented  with  this  and  decided 
on  the  suggestion  of  a  junior  clerk  to  call  him 
by  the  title  of  "  Sunset."  He  settled  to  the 
work  with  moderate  determination,  calling 
ofi  parcels  and  sorting  them  into  bins  for 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         115 

delivery  with  perhaps  more  intelligence  than 
the  raw  amateur  usually  showed  :  he  spoke 
in  a  hoarse  voice,  and  this  he  accounted  for  by 
confessing  himself  a  slave  to  tobacco  ;  he  dis- 
cussed the  matter  with  the  other  men,  between 
the  arrival  of  trains,  and  seemed,  not  un- 
naturally, more  interested  in  those  who 
smoked  than  in  the  one  or  two  who  limited 
themselves  to  a  cigarette  a  week,  consumed 
after  dinner  on  Sundays.  The  Up  Office 
always  had  a  composite  scent,  in  which  fruit, 
game,  cheese,  and  other  things  mixed,  with 
sometimes  one  gaining  ascendancy,  some- 
times another ;  a  new  flavour  of  a  more 
pleasant  and  a  vaguer  character  was  con- 
tributed presently  by  a  small  brown-paper- 
covered  box,  brought  in  from  an  arrival 
platform,  bearing  a  proud  label : — 

VALUABLE   CIGAES. 
KEEP   DRY. 

'  'Ere's  a  chance  for  some  one,"  said  the 
porter,  as  he  called  it  off.  "  Sunset,  old  chum, 
these'd  do  your  palate  good." 

"  Silly  thing  to  mark  'em  like  that,"  re- 
marked    the     new     man.     "  It's    throwing 


116         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

temptation  in  anybody's  way.  I  should 
say  they're  likely  enough  worth  about  fifteen 
pence  to  one-and-six  a-piece." 

"  How  d'you  know  ?  " 

"  I  don't  profess  to  know,"  said  the  new 
man  hurriedly.  "I'm  only  giving  a  rough 
estimate.  But  bless  my  soul,"  he  went  on 
after  a  pause,  "  what  a  refining  influence  a 
cigar  has." 

"  If  it's  a  good  one,"  suggested  a  boy  porter. 

"  They're  all  good,"  declared  the  new  man 
with  enthusiasm.  "  They're  like  the  ladies  in 
that  respect.  Some  are  better'n  others,  but 
they're  all  good." 

"  Not  a  married  man,  then  ?  "  asked  a  fore- 
man. 

"  I'm  a  bloomin'  bachelor,"  said  the  new 
chum.  "  And  what  a  thing  it  is  on  your  Sun- 
day ofi,  when  you're  waiting  at  the  end  of  her 
road,  to  light  up  a  cigar  with  a  fine  aroma  to 
it.  It  not  only  gives  you  an  air  of  belonging 
to  the  'igher  aristocracy,  but  it  also  carries 
away  any  suspicion  of  corduroy  that  might 
be  'anging  about." 

"  I've  never  give  less  than  twopence," 
remarked  the  boy  porter. 

"  I'm  sorry  for  you,"  said  the  new  man. 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         117 

"  I  should  have  thought  a  chap  with  your 
fore'ead  had  got  more  ambition.  Why,  when 
I  was  a  lad  of  your  height " 

"  Pardon  me/'  interrupted  the  foreman, 
"  you  seem  to  'ave  a  most  extraordinary  flow 
of  conversation." 

"  I'm  celebrated  for  it." 

"  I  wonder,"  said  the  foreman  curiously, 
"  whether  you'd  mind  stopping  it  for  a  moment 
and  doing  a  bit  of  work  instead.  Reason  I 
suggest  it  is  that  the  Company  pays  you  for 
what  you  do  and  not  for  what  you  talk." 

"  I  can  take  a  'int,"  said  the  new  man 
coldly. 

There  seemed  a  desire  on  the  part  of  the 
others  that  night  to  make  Porter  Jones  work 
as  hard  as  it  is  possible  for  a  man  to  work. 
The  heaviest  hampers  were  confided  to  his 
care  ;  the  slimiest  cases  of  fish  were  placed 
upon  his  shoulder  ;  he  it  was  who  was  told 
off  to  see  to  some  consignments  of  rather 
advanced  venison.  The  parcel  of  valuable 
cigars  remained  in  the  Number  Five  bin  to 
be  transferred  to  another  Company  by  the 
first  delivery  in  the  morning,  and  it  was  ob- 
served that  whenever  Porter  Jones  came  into 
the  office  he  glanced  in  that  direction.  Now 


118         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

the  Up  Office,  as  I  have  hinted,  had  been  per- 
turbed over  the  recent  complaints,  and  the 
mere  fact  that  they  had  to  fill  up  memoranda 
in  regard  to  the  various  investigations,  to  the 
effect  that,  "  I  beg  to  say  in  reference  to  the 
attached  papers  that  I  know  nothing  what- 
ever of  the  matter,  I  am,  sir,  your  obedient 
servant,"  this  in  itself  was  enough  to  put  a 
keener  edge  on  observation.  Wherefore,  a 
secret  meeting  was  held  near  the  gas-stove  by 
the  booking-up  desk,  and  it  was  decided  that 
the  new  man  should  be  watched  closely  ;  it 
was  felt  it  would  be  a  proud  and  estimable 
thing  for  the  office,  the  character  of  which 
was  at  this  period  slurred,  if  it  could  itself  de- 
tect a  wrong-doer  and  take  him  to  justice. 
And  should  it  happen  that  the  detected  one 
proved  to  be  a  new  man  with  no  friends  in  the 
department  to  lament  his  fall,  then  the  most 
doubtful  would  have  to  revert  to  old  beliefs 
in  a  wise  and  thoughtful  Providence.  Their 
suspicions  were  increased  by  the  fact  that 
whenever  Porter  Jones,  in  the  brief  intervals 
between  work  from  nine  o'clock  onwards,  re- 
sumed conversation,  he  invariably  bent  its 
direction  towards  the  subject  of  cigars. 

"  Take  no  notice,"  whispered  the  foreman 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         119 

to  his  colleagues.  "  At  least  when  I  say  take 
no  notice,  I  mean  take  all  the  notice  you  can, 
but  keep  your  little  heads  shut  as  tight  as 
possible." 

"  Shall  one  of  us  lay  up  for  him  ?  " 

'  Who's  the  smallest  ?  "  asked  the  foreman, 
with  an  air  of  having  already  thought  of  this 
device. 

"  I  are,"  said  the  boy  porter. 

"  Evidently,"  remarked  the  foreman,  look- 
ing down  at  him,  "evidently  a  chap  of  superior 
education.  Country  born,  ain't  you  ?  " 

"  I  were." 

'  Then,"  said  the  foreman,  "  up  you  jump 
behind  them  '  books  off '  and  you  watch, 
my  lad,  watch  Sunset  for  all  you  are  worth." 

The  Up  Office  closed  at  midnight  in  order  to 
sleep  for  a  few  hours.  Before  that  time 
the  men  had  made  preparations  for  departure, 
packing  shining  hand-bags  and  exchanging 
the  official  cap  for  a  bowler  hat,  and  brush- 
ing their  boots ;  this  last  act  is  one  of  which 
the  railway  man  never  tires.  Porter  Jones 
alone  seemed  to  be  taking  no  preliminary  steps, 
and  when  asked  where  he  lived  replied  lightly 
and  evasively  that  he  should  probably  finish 
up  at  the  Carlton  Club.  The  gas  lights  were 


120         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

turned  down  one  by  one  and  darkness  in- 
creased its  possession  of  the  office.  Porter 
Jones  went  up  to  the  end  where  Bin  Number 
Five  was  situated  ;  the  others  hummed  to  give 
a  suggestion  of  unconcern.  Suddenly  there 
was  commotion  at  the  darkened  end  of  the 
office,  and  seizing  hand  lamps,  they  hurried 
forward. 

'  'Old  him,  'old  him,"  cried  the  boy  porter. 
The  counsel  seemed  unnecessary,  for  he 
gripped  Porter  Jones  most  effectively  by  the 
collar  of  the  corduroy  jacket.  "  Set  on  his 
'ead.  Lam  him  one." 

"  What's  all  this  fuss  about  ?  "  demanded 
the  foreman. 

"  He's  got  it,"  screamed  the  boy  porter. 
"  Sunset's  got  it  hid  under  his  jacket." 

"  Got  what  hid  ?  '  asked  the  foreman. 
"  Let's  'ave  the  facts  first  of  all." 

"  I  can  easily  explain,"  gasped  the  new 

man.     "  I  only  wanted  to  see  if Make 

him  leave  go.    He's — he's  throttling  me." 

"  He's  a-trying  to,"  admitted  the  boy  porter. 

"  Let  him  loose,"  ordered  the  foreman. 
"  Men,  stand  around  him  so  as  he  can't  make 
his  escape.  What's  that  bulging  under  your 
arm,  matey  ?  fi 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         121 

The  new  man  gave  an  awkward  laugh, 
as  he  withdrew  the  labelled  parcel. 

"  I  can  explain  it  all  to  you,"  he  said, 
addressing  the  foreman  and  trying  to  rebutton 
his  torn  collar,  "  if  you  will  favour  me  with 
two  minutes  alone  outside." 

"  Don't  you  do  it,"  advised  the  others. 
"  See  him  'anged  first." 

'  Whatsoever  you  'ave  to  say,"  declared 
the  foreman  steadily,  "  you'd  better  say  it 
here  and  now." 

"  Well,  it's  like  this.     I'm  the  detective." 

"  Ho  !  ''  said  the  foreman  satirically. 
"  Detective  and  thief  in  one,  eh  ?  Vurry 
'appy  combination,  I  must  say." 

"  See  here,"  said  the  other,  annoyed  at  the 
incredulous  tone,  "I'll  take  off  this  beard  and 
then  you  can  some  of  you  identify  me." 

As  he  did  so  the  foreman  held  up  his  hand 
lamp,  examining  the  features  carefully. 

"  Do  any  of  you  chaps  recognise  him  ?  ' 

The  staff  replied  at  once  that  to  the  best 
of  their  belief  they  had  never  before  in  this 
world  set  eyes  on  him. 

"  Don't  play  the  goat,"  he  urged  an- 
xiously. '  We've  all  got  our  duties  to  per- 
form." 


122          A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

"  That's  true ;  we  shall  'ave  to  lock  you  up 
for  the  night." 

"  Right  you  are/*  said  the  other  gleefully. 
'  Take  me  round  to  the  nearest  police  station 
and  then " 

'  That  would  mean  losing  our  last  train 
*ome,"  pointed  out  the  foreman. 

"  I  s'pose,"  said  the  boy  porter  respect- 
fully, "  it  wouldn't  do  to  put  him  in  the  lamp 
room  ?  " 

"  Chaps,"  said  the  foreman,  "  my  idea  is 
we'd  better,  I  think,  put  him  in  the  lamp  room. 
Get  Porter  Swan  to  lend  you  the  keys,  my  lad. 
As  for  you,  you  scoundrel " 

"  If  you  so  much  as  dare  to  lock  me  up  there 
I'll  see  that  you  regret  it  every  day  of  your 
lives."  He  argued  vehemently. 

"  Look  'ere,  me  man,"  said  the  boy  porter, 
returning  with  the  keys,  "  we  want  none 
of  your  empty  threats.  If  you  think  we're 
going  to  be  bluffed  by  a  chap  of  your 
calibre " 

"  My  what  ?  "  shouted  the  indignant  man, 
struggling  to  get  at  the  lad. 

"  Go  on,  my  child,"  said  the  foreman 
approvingly.  "Let  him  have  some  of  your 
long  ones. "  The  foreman  turned  to  the  others. 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         123 

'  This  is  where  your  school  teaching  comes 
in  'andy,"  he  whispered. 

"  A  chap  of  your  calibre/'  repeated  the  boy 
porter,  encouraged  ;  "  you're  labouring  under 
the  very  worst  misapprehension " 

"  Good  !  "  said  the  others. 
'  Worst  misapprehension    that  you   ever 
suffered  from  or  endured  or  tolerated  or  sub- 
mitted to  or  underwent  or " 

'  That's  enough  for  him,"  interrupted  the 
foreman,  "  we'd  best  not  overdo  it.  Got  his 
arms  tied,  lads  ?  ' 

'  You'll  suffer  for  this,"  he  cried. 

"  I'll  take  me  oath  you  will,"  said  the  fore- 
man. "  Now  then,  two  of  you  at  each  arm 
and — march  !  Boy,  blow  out  the  gas  and 
lock  up." 

No  one  was  encountered  on  the  way  to  the 
lamp  room  who  had  authority  to  interfere  with 
the  plans  of  the  Up  Office,  and  the  unfortu- 
nate man  was  conducted  at  a  sharp  walk  to 
that  gloomy,  sooty,  greasy  haven.  The  place 
reeked  with  oily  waste,  and  some  appeared 
to  have  been  smouldering,  giving  a  result  that 
nice  people  would  call  displeasing.  The  un- 
even flooring  was  laid  out  with  lakes  of  dirty 
water  ;  zinc  counters  did  not  permit  them- 


124         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

selves  to  be  touched.  The  foreman  turned 
out  the  one  glimmer  of  light  as  though  by 
accident. 

"  Got  a  match  on  you  ?  "  he  asked  the 
prisoner  in  a  kindly  tone. 

"  Only  one  box." 

"Hand  it  over/' ordered  the  foreman,  "for 
a  moment.  Thanks,"  slipping  it  into  his 
pocket.  "  Now  we  can  catch  our  twelve- 
fifteen.  Good  night,  old  sort." 

"'Appy  dreams,"  cried  the  others. 

"  Don't  be  late  in  the  morning,"  called  out 
the  boy  porter. 

The  imprisoned  man,  not  daring  to  trust 
himself  to  reply,  heard  the  door  close,  heard 
the  lock  shoot.  He  groaned,  and  began  to 
reckon  the  black  hours  that  he  would  have  to 
endure  in  the  place  ;  at  the  least,  the  number 
would  be  six  ;  he  did  not  care  to  think  what 
it  might  be  at  the  most.  Throughout  the 
'whole  of  the  time  he  was  unable  to  close  his 
eyes,  and  his  only  relief  to  the  length  of  the 
hours  came  by  thinking  of  the  report  that  he 
would  indite  the  following  morning.  He 
polished  up  in  his  mind  some  of  the  refer- 
ences to  the  boy  porter,  and  to  the  man  who 
gripped  his  arm  in  bringing  him  from  the  Up 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         125 

Office  ;  it  seemed  that  his  suspicions  in  regard 
to  the  pilferages  were  centred,  for  some  reason, 
on  those  who  had  most  aggrieved  him. 
Before  daylight  began  to  grin  at  him  through 
the  barred  window  of  the  lamp  room  he  had 
mentally  completed  his  report,  and  the  last 
paragraph  he  felt  was  especially  good. 

"  I  am  able  to  speak  with  absolute  cer- 
tainty, and  I  can  go  so  far  as  to  say  the  men 
who  are  undoubtedly  responsible  for  the  recent 
pilferages  are  those  I  have  named,  and  I  beg 
to  suggest  respectfully  that  steps  be  taken 
to  relieve  them  of  their  present  duties  at  the 
earliest  possible  moment.  The  only  alterna- 
tive is  a  clean  sweep  of  the  whole  of  the  Up 
Office  staff,  and  this,  sir,  I  hesitate  to  recom- 
mend. But  for  reasons  that  I  have  stated, 
and  for  others  which  I  think  it  wise  not  to 
place  upon  paper,  I  earnestly  hope  that  the 
recommendation  I  have  made  will  be  acted 
upon  without  delay. 

"W.  BELLCHAMBERS. 

"  P.S. — Especially  the  foreman  and  the 
junior." 

"Can't  make   it   hotter  for  them,"  said 


126         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

Sergeant  Bellchambers  to  himself  regretfully, 
"  without  it  looking  as  though  I'd  got  some 
personal  spite." 

The  night  seemed  endless,  but  it  proved  to 
have  a  finish,  and  Bellchambers,  when  the 
lamp-man  opened  the  door  in  the  morning, 
went  out,  a  tired,  oil-scented,  yawning,  but  a 
determined  official.  A  wash  and  a  shave  in- 
creased the  last  quality,  and  when  the  Super- 
intendent arrived  at  nine  o'clock,  morning 
paper  under  his  arm,  Sergeant  Bellchambers 
was  waiting  for  him  in  the  lobby  of  the  office 
with  confidence  written  all  over  his  face  in 
large  letters. 

"  Evening,  sir." 

"  Good-morning,  Sergeant." 

"  I  mean  morning,"  corrected  Bellchambers. 
"I've  been  up  all  night  over  that  little  affair 
you  spoke  about." 

"  Ah ! "  said  the  Superintendent,  sit- 
ting down  in  his  arm-chair,  "  with  no 
result?" 

"  On  the  contrary,  sir,"  said  Sergeant 
Bellchambers  importantly.  "If  it  isn't 
troubling  you  too  much  I'll  trouble  you  to 
cast  your  eyes  over  this  report  of  mine." 

The   Superintendent  let   his   glasses   flick 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION          127 

open  and  adjusted  them  on  his  nose.  The 
Sergeant,  leaning  one  arm  on  the  mantel- 
piece, watched  his  superior  officer,  waiting 
for  the  sign  of  gratified  approval.  This,  to 
his  great  astonishment,  did  not  come,  and  the 
Superintendent's  face  remained  unchanged 
when  he  had  thrown  the  report  on  the  shining 
table. 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  want  me 
to  get  rid  of  these  men  ?  ' 

"  That  was  the  impression/'  said  the  Ser- 
geant, with  a  touch  of  acidity,  "  I  intended  to 
convey." 

"  And  you  think  they're  guilty  ?  ' 

"  I'll  stake  my  reputation  on  it,  sir,"  said 
Sergeant  Bellchambers. 

'  That  is  not  much  of  a  bet,"  remarked  the 
other. 

'  You  can  take  it  from  me  that  these  pil- 
ferages will  never  cease  until  the  men  I've 
referred  to  are  turned  out." 

"I'm  very  anxious  to  do  something," 
said  the  Superintendent,  taking  up  a  ruler 
thoughtfully. 

"  Like  myself,  sir,"  said  Bellchambers. 
"  That's  me  all  over." 

"  But  not,"  said  the  Superintendent,  hitting 


128         A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION 

the  table,  "  not  in  the  direction  you  suggest. 
Head  this  !  " 

He  handed  over  the  morning  paper  to 
Sergeant  Bellchambers,  pointing  to  a  letter 
headed  "  Recent  Complaints  of  Pilferages." 

"  Ah !  *'  said  the  Sergeant  exultingly, 
"  they're  going  for  us  again,  then.  '  Dear 
Sir/  he  read.  "  '  With  reference  to  our  letters 
to  you  complaining  of  abstraction  from  our 
parcels  of  cigars  sent  by  railway,  we  think  it 
only  right  to  inform  you  that  we  have  dis- 
covered these  pilferages  were  made  by  one  of 
our  own  men.  It  appears  that  after  delivering 
the  parcels  at  the  station  here,  and  after  they 
were  weighed,  he  was  in  the  habit  of  offering  to 
take  them  to  the  train,  and  whilst  doing  this 
•effected  the  robberies  to  which  reference  has 
been  made.  We  need  scarcely  point  out  that 
if  the  station  had  been  wisely  managed  these 
lamentable  occurrences  would  in  all  probability 
never  have  taken  place  ;  the  only  question  is, 
who  is  responsible  ?  We  are,  dear  sir,  yours 
faithfully ' " 

"  A  paltry  trick  to  play  on  anybody,"  said 
the  Sergeant.  "  At  the  same  time,  sir,  I  think 
there'll  be  no  harm  in  making  a  change  in  the 
staff." 


A  CASE  OF  SUSPICION         129 

"  I  intend  to  do  so.  Will  you  keep  your 
eyes  open,  Sergeant " 

"  Ain't  they  always  ?  " 

"  And,"  said  the  Superintendent,  "  look  out 
for  another  berth.  Shut  the  door  quietly 
after  you/' 


VIII 
QUESTION   OF   TEMPERATUKE 

L.O.M.  caught  sight  of  M.R.  two  or  three 
times  on  the  journey,  and  M.R.  made  more 
than  one  effort  to  obtain  completer  details  by 
inspection  of  the  blue  card  label  on  L.O.M.  *i 
bag.  A  certain  coolness  on  M.R/s  side 
marked  their  first  meeting,  but  this  was  the 
fault  of  the  English  Channel;  it  certainly 
looked  like  a  practical  joke,  not  quite  in  good 
taste,  when  a  sudden  lurch  of  the  steamer 
gent  him  against  her  on  the  upper  deck  ; 
despite  his  apologies,  there  was  about  the 
incident  a  suggestion  of  Holloway  Road  on 
Sunday  evenings.  M.R.  told  her  married 
sister  that  she  considered  him  a  bounder ; 
the  married  sister  replied  that  this  description 
could  be  applied  to  men  in  general,  with  one 
single  exception. 
"  Be  very  careful,  Margaret,"  she  added, 

130 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    131 

"  how  you  make  acquaintances.  We  shall 
run  up  against  all  sorts.'1 

"  All  sorts,"  complained  the  girl,  "  seem  to 
be  running  up  against  me." 

At  the  Paris  Station  of  the  Lyons  railway, 
L.O.M.  appeared  in  a  more  favourable  light, 
rescuing  the  married  sister's  coat  which  had 
been  taken  from  a  peg  in  the  buffet  by  a  French- 
woman who  was  either  short-sighted  or  deficient 
in  honesty.  At  Vallorbes,  it  was  he  who 
came  to  the  window  of  their  compartment — 
the  hour  being  five  a.m.,  and  snow  on  the 
ground — and  gave  the  welcome  news  that 
their  registered  luggage  was  not  amongst  the 
packages  selected  for  examination  at  the 
Swiss  frontier. 

"  Do  you  think  I  might  get  you  some 
coffee  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Certainly  not !  "  answered  the  married 
sister  promptly. 

The  incident  constituted  a  subject  for  dis- 
cussion, the  younger  girl  contending  that 
the  obliging  male  should  never  be  curtly 
repulsed  ;  the  other  arguing  that  a  difficulty 
would  have  been  found  in  persuading  the 
youth  to  accept  cash  for  refreshments  sup- 
plied, and,  consequent  on  this,  the  trouble  in 


132    QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE 

preventing  him  from  becoming  intrusive  could 
scarcely  be  measured.  At  Lausanne,  where 
passengers  took  breakfast,  he  very  properly 
kept  his  distance.  At  Bex,  in  the  tram-cars, 
which  were  to  make  the  climb  with  the  aid  of 
motive  power  at  the  back,  he  gave  up  his  place 
to  the  elder  of  the  two  and  sat  side  by  side 
with  the  girl  in  the  crowded  luggage  van. 

'  Yes,"  she  replied,  "  I  skate,  and  I  should 
like  to  learn  to  ski.    Do  you  ?  >; 

"  Moderately  good  at  it,"  replied  L.O.M. 
"  Did  some  in  Norway." 

"  Then,  perhaps " 

'  You  will  find  an  instructor  up  there,"  he 
said. 

She  turned  away  huffily. 

It  was  not,  however,  easy  to  avoid  joining 
in  the  general  conversation.  Everybody  had 
projects  for  the  filling  up  of  the  winter 
holiday ;  the  conductor,  as  the  car  went 
slowly  up  the  hill,  was  appealed  to  for  informa- 
tion concerning  weather,  and  being  a  man 
of  cheerful  temperament,  gave  exactly  the 
particulars  that  were  hoped  and  desired, 
without  allowing  truth  to  mar  the  effect.  Thus 
an  atmosphere  of  hopefulness  pervaded  the 
luggage  van,  and  even  retiring  military  men 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    133 

perched  upon  trunks  became  vivacious,  talk- 
ing of  desperate  deeds  already  accomplished 
in  other  places  on  toboggans,  and  speaking 
with  relish  of  the  appetite  that  came  after 
these  exercises.  The  two  were  soon  again 
in  conversation,  and  the  girl  mentioned 
that  her  sister's  maiden  name  was  Rodgers, 
a  fact  which  enabled  him  to  perceive  acutely 
that  this  must  be  also  the  girl's  name.  Turn- 
ing the  label  on  his  valise,  he  introduced 
himself. 

"  Masterson,"  he  said. 

"  I  like  names  of  three  syllables/'  she  re- 
marked. 

The  hour  and  a  half  occupied  by  the  journey 
was  lessened  by  all  this,  and  by  the  increas- 
ingly snowy  aspect  of  the  mountains  on  either 
side  of  the  track  ;  the  conductor  derided  this 
as  trifling,  and  endeavoured  to  give  some  idea 
of  the  downfall  that  had  taken  place  up  near 
the  summit.  At  Gryon  the  steep  part  finished, 
and  the  cars  went  on  with  the  assistance  of 
overhead  wires. 

'  You  play  and  sing,  I  suppose  ?  '' 

"  I  perform  no  parlour  tricks  of  any 
description,"  said  Miss  Rodgers  definitely. 
"  I  leave  these  accomplishments  to  others." 


134    QUESTION  OF  TEMPEKATUEE 

"  Really  ?  "  Rather  taken  back,  and  the 
movement  of  his  forehead  slightly  lifting  his 
cap.  "  I  had  an  idea — Fd  got  the  notion 
that  every  girl  did.  My  sisters " 

"  I  am  the  exception/'  with  pride.  "  Out- 
door sports  constitute  my  strong  point.  I 
could  live  for  ever  in  the  open  air/' 

'  What  about  the  bad  weather  ?  '  in- 
quired Masterson. 

"  How  can  you  talk  of  bad  weather  at  a 
time  like  this  ?  Look  back  and  see  that  dear, 
white,  delightful  little  village.  Tell  me,  do 
you  think  there  will  be  a  carnival  on  the  ice 
rink  ?  I've  brought  the  sweetest  fancy  dress 
you  ever  saw.  You  won't  find  me  staying 
indoors,  excepting  for  meals." 

When  the  cars  reached  the  destination,  the 
two  alone  out  of  the  whole  party  exhibited 
scarcely  any  signs  of  the  twenty-five  hours' 
journey  from  Charing  Cross  and  London ; 
the  married  sister  compensated  by  showing 
every  symptom  of  collapse,  and  he  very 
courteously  assisted  her  up  the  wooden  steps 
and  over  the  bridge  to  the  hotel.  There  the 
flurried  manager  checked  names  as  they 
entered  ;  assigned  the  double  room  on  the 
first  floor  to  Mr.  Masterson,  and  the  single 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE  135 

room  on  the  third  floor  to  Miss  Rodgers  and 
her  exhausted  sister  ;  they  united  forces  in 
protesting  against  this,  and  became  more 
friendly  in  the  presence  of  a  common  grievance. 
Despite  the  warmth  of  arguments  used  by 
visitors,  the  thermometer  near  the  pile  of 
brushes  and  toboggans  registered  four  degrees 
of  frost. 

Lunch  was  served  at  once,  and  immediately 
after  the  meal  the  married  sister,  discovering 
that  she  had  eaten  veal  under  the  impression 
it  was  mutton,  announced  her  intention  of 
resting  indoors  during  the  afternoon.  The 
other  two  came  down  in  jerseys  and  white  caps, 
and  the  married  sister  gave  Masterson  gracious 
permission  to  escort  Miss  Rodgers  to  the  rink. 

"  Mind  you  bring  her  back  safely/'  she 
commanded. 

"  I'll  do  my  best,"  he  said. 

"  Quite  capable  of  taking  care  of  myself," 
remarked  the  girl.  "  Just  lace  up  my  boots 
for  me,  please."  They  left  the  lady  in  the 
vestibule  perusing  a  Cardiff  journal  bearing 
date  of  a  Tuesday  in  the  previous  month. 

One  could  see  on  their  return  that  the  after- 
noon on  the  rink  had  reached  highest  expecta- 
tions ;  their  animation  caused  some  compres- 


136    QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE 

sion  of  the  eyebrows  on  the  part  of  sedater 
folk  taking  tea.  Everything  had  happened  as 
the  flushed,  excited  girl  wanted  it  to  happen. 
Her  ability  had  excited  favourable  comment 
from  other  skaters  ;  one  of  the  professionals 
gave  a  compliment ;  the  band  played  delight- 
fully, and  she — not  caring  for  indoor  dancing 
— completely  and  thoroughly  enjoyed  a  waltz. 
Sun  shining  all  the  time. 

"  After  tea,"  she  explained,  "  we  are  going 
out  to  do  some  ski-ing." 

'  Who  is  meant,  pray,"  asked  her  sister 
carefully,  "  by  the  word  '  we  '  ?  " 

"  Mr.  Masterson  and  myself,  of  course  !  " 

"  Oh  !  "  commented  her  sister,  giving  an 
inflection  which  the  printed  word  cannot  con- 
vey. 

"  What's  your  objection,  Ellen  ?  " 

"  It  would  be  useless  for  me  to  offer 
any.  I  shall  stay  in  and  write.  Does  he 
know  that  you  neither  play  nor  sing  ?  '' 

"  I've  told  him,"  snapped  the  girl. 

Folk  at  the  hotel  attended  meals  with 
regularity,  but  their  impatience  towards  the 
finish  was  something  not  easily  concealed.  A 
tall  woman  seated  opposite  at  dinner,  and 
possessing  a  complexion  which  looked  almost 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    137 

natural,  hinted  that  she  was  arranging  some 
amateur  theatricals,  and  Mr.  Masterson  gave 
to  the  announcement  an  interest  which  Miss 
Rodgers  considered  so  excessive  that  she 
turned  from  him  and  listened  with  attention 
intended  to  be  equally  extravagant  to  her 
sister's  talk  concerning  Henry.  The  lady 
with  the  complexion  had  been  searching  the 
hotels  for  some  one  who  could  sing  and  act ; 
up  to  the  present,  she  had  found  three  able  to 
sing,  but  not  greatly  desirous  of  doing  so  ; 
they  were  more  definite  in  their  replies  to  her 
invitation  in  regard  to  acting.  Also,  she 
required  some  one  who  could  play  the  piano- 
forte readily. 

"  Please  help  me  if  you  can,"  she  begged, 
passing  the  French  mustard  across  to  Mr. 
Masterson,  and  assuming  an  ingratiating 
smile.  "  I  shall  be  so  grateful." 

"  There's  a  good  deal  to  do  out-of-doors," 
he  mentioned. 

"  Then,"  said  the  lady,  with  resolution, 
"  I  must  pray  for  mild  weather  !  " 

The  concierge  announced  in  the  vestibule, 
as  folk  returned  who  had  been  out  for  moon- 
light tobogganing  after  dinner,  that  the  frost 
was  hard,  the  thermometer  promising  well ; 


138    QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE 

bridge  players  ordered  him  to  close  the  doors, 
and  keep  them  closed,  but  Masterson  and 
Miss  Rodgers  coming  in,  flushed  with  exercise 
on  the  snow  run,  congratulated  each  other  on 
the  good  news,  and  in  the  corridor,  before  say- 
ing good-night,  made  full  and  complete  plans 
for  the  following  day. 

Masterson  slept  the  sleep  of  a  well-tired 
man  until  six  o'clock,  when  the  bell  rang  to 
arouse  servants.  He  heard  a  drip,  drip,  drip 
from  the  roofs,  and  turning  over  dreamt  of  an 
amazing  leap  on  skis  from  the  top  of  Mont 
Blanc  to  the  Dent  du  Midi,  an  exploit  that 
created  in  his  mind,  not  surprise,  but  genuine 
satisfaction.  When  he  awoke  again,  it  was 
to  find  the  hour  late,  and  in  dressing  hastily, 
to  avoid  the  fifty  centimes  fine  inflicted  on 
those  who  took  breakfast  after  ten,  he  shared 
the  blame  between  himself  and  the  heating 
apparatus  which  kept  the  room  at  a  too  com- 
fortable temperature. 

"  Really  very  sorry,"  he  cried,  entering  the 
dining-room.  Severe  faces  looked  up  from 
the  tables  ;  young  Miss  Rodgers  helped  her 
sister  to  honey  and  sighed.  '  You  can't  think 
how  full  of  regret  I  am." 

"  It  is  a  pity,"  she  said. 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE      139 

"  I  was  awake  early,  mind  you,"  he  went 
on  eagerly.  ''  Wide  awake  as  I  am  now.  And 
then  I  dozed  off,  and  when  I " 

The  waiting  maid  brought  his  coffee  and  he 
poured  it  into  the  cup  with  the  air  of  a  man 
not  deserving  refreshment. 

'  You  have  been  out  alone,  I  suppose  ?  'J 
he  remarked. 

"  Apparently,"  interposed  the  married 
sister,  "  you  are  not  aware  that  there  has  been 
a  most  wonderful  thaw  during  the  night,  and 
that  there  is  now  a  thick  mist." 

The  weather  was  not  the  only  thing  affected 
by  the  change.  After  breakfast,  folk  stood 
about  in  the  corridor  examining  the  notices 
there  with  a  doleful  expression.  "  Rink 
Closed  "  stood  out  in  definite  capital  letters, 
and  eyes  turned  from  the  stern  announce- 
ment to  gain  some  comfort  from  the  slips 
which  recorded  loss  of  decorative  articles.  A 
few  proclaimed  intention  of  devoting  the 
morning  to  sending  postcards,  and  to  the 
clearing  off  of  arrears  in  correspondence,  and 
stalked  resolutely  up  to  the  drawing-room  ; 
others  went  to  see  if  they  could  induce  the 
concierge  to  make  a  cheerful  prophecy  concern- 
ing the  weather,  returning  with  the  news  that 


140    QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE 

the  official,  discouraged  by  failure,  refused  to 
hold  out  anything  that  looked  like  hope. 
One  or  two  inspected  time  tables  and  talked 
of  going  back  to  Lausanne. 

'  Why  don't  you  suggest  something,  Mr. 
Masterson  ?  " 

'  Wish  I  had  the  necessary  intelligence, 
Miss  Rodgers.  Is  there  anything  we  can 
arrange  indoors,  I  wonder,  to  make  the  time 
go  quickly  whilst  the  weather  is  sorting  itself  ? 
Think  of  something  that  you're  good  at !  " 

"  If  you  possessed  a  memory/'  retorted  the 
girl  warmly,  "  you  would  recollect  that  I 
distinctly  told  you " 

The  lady  with  the  very  fresh  complexion 
interposed,  with  an  apology.  Would  Mr. 
Masterson  give  her  three  minutes  of  his  time 
in  a  corner  of  the  vestibule  ?  Masterson 
looked  at  the  girl  for  directions,  but  she  turned 
away,  and  he  followed  the  other  obediently. 

Great  mystery  surrounded  the  ball-room, 
and  especially  the  stage  of  the  ball-room,  that 
day,  with  janitors  at  doors,  asking  those  who 
arrived  :  "  Excuse  me,  but  are  you  taking 
part  ?  "  and  when  a  negative  answer  was 
given,  adding  :  "  Then  will  you  kindly  stay 
outside,  please  ?  "  The  pianoforte  could  be 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    141 

heard  being  played  with  the  soft  pedal  downr 
and  a  sound  came  of  choruses  ;  occasionally  > 
the  voice  of  the  made-up  lady  crying  :  "  Ohr 
that's  not  a  bit  like  it !  "  and  "  We  must  try 
the  first  act  all  over  again  !  "  and  "  Do  take 
up  your  cues  smartly,  please  !  " 

At  lunch  she  escorted  Masterson  into  the 
dining-room,  conveying  him  past  the  chairs 
occupied  by  Miss  Rodgers  and  the  married 
sister,  and  induced  him  to  sit  beside  her  during 
the  meal.  The  doyen  of  the  guests  rapped 
three  times  on  the  table  between  the  veal  and 
the  chicken  course,  and  made  an  announce- 
ment. Volunteers  were  required  to  sing  in 
the  church  choir.  A  bracelet  had  been  found 
on  the  billiard  table.  To-morrow  evening 
there  would  be  a  theatrical  entertainment 
in  the  ball-room  under  the  joint  superinten- 
dence of  Miss  Ellicott  and  Mr.  Masterson. 
Ladies  willing  to  sing  in  the  chorus  were  re- 
quested to  communicate  immediately  with 
Mr.  Masterson.  The  doyen  sat  down ;  the 
buzz  of  conversation  recommenced. 

Masterson,  note-book  in  hand,  stood  at  the 
doorway  when  the  meal  was  over,  taking 
names.  As  Miss  Rodgers  and  her  sister  came 
near,  he  looked  up  inquiringly,  but  the  girl 


142    QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE 

stared  at  him  in  a  distant  manner,  and  went 
past,  ignoring  the  half-completed  question 
which  he  put  to  her ;  Masterson  gazed  after 
them  with  the  abashed  look  of  one  who  has 
discovered  that  he  does  not  fully  understand 
women,  and  to  the  next  offer  replied,  rather 
brusquely,  that  the  list  was  now  complete. 
He  proceeded  to  the  ball-room  and  gave  up 
the  afternoon  to  rehearsal,  interspersed  with 
gusty  arguments  with  the  leading  lady.  Out- 
side, the  rain  came  down  in  a  quiet,  orderly 
manner,  as  though  it  were  doing  exactly  what 
was  required,  and  the  concierge  went  about 
assuring  visitors  that  the  fault  was  not  his. 

Young  Miss  Rodgers,  wearing  defiance  as  a 
cloak  to  nervousness,  knocked  at  the  door 
of  the  ball-room  and  asked  to  see  Mr.  Master- 
son.  The  amateur  door-keeper  replied  that 
the  gentleman  was  busy.  Miss  Rodgers,  with 
a  smile  that  would  have  persuaded  even  a  pro- 
fessional, induced  the  door-keeper  to  go  and 
make  further  inquiries,  and  immediately  that 
he  had  started  on  this  errand,  not  only  slipped 
inside  the  room,  but  at  once  slipped  up  on  the 
polished  floor.  Now,  she  was  a  sure-footed 
girl,  not  accustomed  to  tumble,  and  it  was 
fortunate,  in  view  of  her  record,  that  no  one 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    143 

happened  to  witness  the  incident.  She  had 
resumed  an  upright  position  when  the  door- 
keeper returned. 

'  You  go  across  to  the  drawing-room,"  he 
whispered  importantly,  "  and  in  about  ten 
minutes  he'll  see  you !  Quarter  of  an  hour  at 
the  outside." 

The  entire  strength  of  the  company  was  on 
the  stage,  and  as  she  walked  up  and  down  the 
carpeted  room,  snatches  of  the  dialogue  came 
to  her  ears.  The  leading  lady  and  Masterson 
were  about  to  go  through  once  again  the  scene 
which  had  startled  the  girl  on  entering  the 
ball-room ;  the  lady  suggested  improvements. 
'  When  I  rush  into  your  arms,"  she  said,  "  how 
would  it  be  for  you  to  catch  me  like  this  " — 
here  evidently  followed  an  illustration — "  and 
I'll  lean  my  hand  on  your  shoulder  like  this  " 
— another  illustration — "  and  then  we  can 
start  the  duet."  Masterman's  voice  said  he 
was  ready  to  try  this  plan.  "  That's  better," 
remarked  the  lady  presently,  "  but  I  think 
we  may  as  well  do  it  again.  Give  me  the 
word,  somebody." 

The  girl  peered  through  the  cracks  of  the 
set  scenery  on  the  stage,  and,  her  hand  at  her 
throat,  watched  and  listened. 


"  That's  about  right.  Now  for  the  duet. 
Play  the  symphony,  please,  Miss  Jenner." 
After  this,  "  Thank  you.  Just  once  more." 

Masterson's  voice,  a  strong  baritone, 
started  : 

"  As  I  look  into  eyes  that  gaze  up  into  mine, 

I  know  that  your  dear  heart  is  beating  for  me. 

I  know  you're  as  true  as  the  stars  that  do  shine, 
As  the  sun  and  the  moon  and  the  earth  and  the  sea. 

Yet  I  ask  for  one  word " 

Miss  Rodgers,  fearful  of  being  discovered 
and  unable  to  endure  contemplation  of  the 
scene  any  longer,  crept  away  to  the  other  end 
of  the  drawing-room,  where,  regarding  herself 
in  the  mirror,  she  found  an  extremely  cross- 
looking  face  with  a  line  or  two  on  the  fore- 
head. As  the  lady's  reply  rang  out,  the  girl 
took  up  an  illustrated  journal  from  the  table 
and  endeavoured  to  divert  her  thoughts  by 
concentrating  on  fashion,  only  to  find  that 
she  could  not  be  quite  sure  whether  she  was 
inspecting  a  page  of  drawings  or  a  page  of 
letterpress. 

"For  I  love  thee,  I  love  thee,  'tis  all  I  can  say." 

The  chorus,  standing  around  with  a  strange 
want  of  delicacy  during  this  affectionate 
argument,  now  threw  off  all  restraint,  and 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE    145 

acknowledged  the  interest  they  had  taken  in 
the  proceedings  by  singing  confidentially  to 
each  other  : 

"  She  loves  him,  she  loves  him,  'tis  all  he  can  say, 

He  loves  her,  he  loves  for  a  year  and  a  day. 
Pray  see  how  affection  has  come  their  direction, 
Oh,  thrice  happy  twain  to  be  wedded  hi  May." 

"  Hullo !  'J    cried    Masterson,    astonished, 
coming  off,  "  you  here  ?  " 

The  question  seemed  to  be  one  of  those  not 
requiring  a  reply,  and  Miss  Rodgers  ignored  it. 

"  I  wanted  to  know  whether  there  was  a 
chance  of  being  able  to  help/'  she  said. 

"  Rather  !  "  he  declared   readily.    "  We'll 
soon  see  about  that.     I'll  go  and  arrange." 

He  went  at  a  good  rate ;    returned  with 
leaden  footsteps. 

"  I'm  sorry  !  "  she  said,  receiving  his  mes- 
sage. 

'  If  you  had  only  offered  earlier,"  he  re- 
marked apologetically.  '  You  see,  I'm  not  in 
charge  of  the  affair,  or  else  I'd  manage  it  like 
a  shot.  And  I  thought  you  said " 

"  It    occurred    to    me,"    explained    Miss 
Rodgers,   her  voice  faltering  slightly,  "  that 
I'd  like  to  try.    But  it  doesn't  really  matter 
in  the  least." 
10 


146    QUESTION  OF  TEMPEEATUEE 

Her  sister  was  in  a  convalescent  state,  ready 
to  talk  of  subjects  other  than  Henry,  and  when 
the  girl  burst  into  the  room  which  they  jointly 
occupied,  and  throwing  herself  on  the  red 
couch,  gave  way  to  tears,  comfort  was  close 
at  hand.  The  sister  wisely  refrained  at  first 
from  putting  questions,  allowed  the  girl  to 
have  her  cry  out,  and  only  said  soothingly, 
"  It's  all  right,  dearie.  Don't  worry  more 
than  you  can  help."  When  composure  re- 
turned, the  solace  of  the  confessional  was 
utilised  and  the  married  sister  listened,  inter- 
jecting now  and  again,  "  Yes,  I  understand," 
and  "  I  quite  see  what  you  mean." 

'  You  don't  mind,  I  hope,  if  I  point  out," 
she  remarked,  when  the  last  word  had  been 
said,  "  that  mother  and  I  have  always  been 
persuading  you  to  take  up  music  or  singing  or 
some  accomplishment  of  the  kind." 

"  I  know,"  admitted  the  girl  penitently. 

"  And  you  have  always  said  there  were 
plenty  of  girls  who  could  do  these  things,  and 
that  you  were  not  going  to  bother  about 
them.  Now  you  see  how  important  it  is 
that  you  should  keep  them  level  with  others. 
You  must  make  hay  whilst  the  sun  shines," 
quoted  the  married  sister. 


QUESTION  OF  TEMPERATURE     147 

"  I  shall  have  to  make  a  start." 
"  And  when  we  get  back  to  London,  you 
are  going  to  set  to  work  at  once  and  learn  some 
of  these  useful  accomplishments  ?  " 

"I  promise,"  declared  Miss  Rodgers  reso- 
lutely. "And  I  think,  too,  I  should  like  to 
take  up  cooking.  One  never  knows  when  it 
may  come  in  handy." 

The  performance  went  well,  and  nothing 
could  have  exceeded  the  graciousness  of  young 
Miss  Rodgers  towards  the  leading  lady  ;  few 
of  the  later  compliments  exceeded  hers. 
Indeed,  when,  on  the  following  day,  the  frost 
returned  succeeded  by  a  pleasant  sprinkling 
of  snow,  she  offered  to  take  the  leading  lady 
out  on  the  rink  and  charge  herself  with  the 
responsibility  of  teaching  the  art  of  skating. 

"No,  dear,"  replied  the  other.  "Thank 
you  very  much,  but  no.  As  a  matter  of  fact, 
although  I  try  my  best  not  to  look  it,  I'm  too 
old.  Look  after  Mr.  Masterson,  instead.  He 
admires  you,  and  you  mustn't  lose  any  chance 
of  persuading  him  to  continue  to  do  so,  indoors 
or  out.  I  know  what  men  are  ! " 


IX 


WE  parted  from  Mr.  Peter  A.  Chasemore  at 
Bologna  owing  to  a  slight  difference  of  opinion. 
Carolyn  Stokes  and  myself  had  the  notion  that 
we  should  find  Venice  damp  and  possibly 
cold  ;  Mr.  Chasemore  declared  that  to  go 
home  without  seeing  a  gondola  would  give 
him  a  pain  compared  with  which  rheumatism 
might  be  considered  a  sensation  of  acute 
delight.  There  is  no  use  denying  the  fact  that 
we  two  women  missed  Mr.  Chasemore  a  good 
deal.  Confusion  took  place  on  the  journey, 
for  which  I  blamed  Carolyn  Stokes,  and  she 
blamed  me.  When  with  the  assistance  of  luck 
we  did  reach  the  Belvedere  our  tempers  were 
not  improved  by  the  fact  that  a  young  man 
and  an  elderly  lady  occupied,  for  the  moment, 
the  attention  of  the  hotel  people. 

"  Norman,"  she  said  to  him,  as  the  pro- 

148 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  149 

prietor  eventually  came  to  us,  "  you  can  con- 
sider yourself  free  for  the  remainder  of  the 
day."  He  bowed.  "  Give  me  that ;  I  will 
take  charge  of  it."  Both  Carolyn  Stokes  and 
myself  noticed  the  name  on  the  label  as  the 
leather  case  was  being  transferred. 

I  suppose  the  fact  that  there  are  no  such 
titles  where  we  come  from  caused  the  encounter 
to  make  an  impression  upon  us  ;  we  watched 
her  as  she  went  up  in  the  elevator,  and  noticed 
the  special  consideration  paid  by  atten- 
dants. At  home  we  reckon  everybody  to  be 
equal,  with  a  few  exceptions,  but  here  it  was 
evident  that  to  be  called  Lady  Mirrible  counted 
for  something,  and  we  naturally  fell  in  with 
the  local  view.  When  you  are  in  Rome  you 
should  do  as  the  Romans  do  ;  the  remark 
applies  equally  well  to  Florence.  The  young 
man  gave  way  to  us  at  the  desk  of  the  con- 
cierge, and  Carolyn  Stokes  offered  him  a  large 
smile. 

"  Have  you  come  far  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  Fairly  good  distance." 

"  Are  you  going  soon  ?  ' 

"  That  doesn't  quite  depend  upon  me,"  he 
replied. 

I  mentioned  when  we  were  in  our  room  that 


150  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS 

a  considerable  amount  of  information  had  not 
been  extracted,  and  Carolyn  Stokes  said  no 
doubt  I  should  prove  more  successful  in  the 
game.  I  replied  that  this  seemed  highly 
probable,  and  we  did  not  speak  to  each  other 
again  until  the  gong  sounded  in  the  corridor 
announcing  that  the  meal  was  almost  ready. 
Downstairs  in  the  reading-room  we  en- 
countered a  nasty  jar  in  the  discovery  that 
none  of  the  rest  of  the  people  had  dressed 
specially  for  dinner.  This  was  one  of  the 
small  difficulties  caused  by  the  absence  of  a 
man  capable  of  making  inquiries  beforehand. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  he  remarked.  He 
had  taken  the  Herald  from  the  table  just  as 
my  hand  went  out ;  he  replaced  it  and  selected 
a  London  journal.  I  was  determined  to  let 
Carolyn  Stokes  see  that  I  could  manage  the 
situation  better  than  she  had  done. 

'  You  are  not  an  American  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  am  only  English." 

'  We  have  met  several  very  pleasant  folk 
from  your  country  in  the  course  of  our  travels." 

"  How  extremely  fortunate." 

'  What  startles  us  amongst  you  is  your  class 
distinctions.  You  should,  I  think,  make  an 
endeavour  to  break  down  the  barriers." 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  151 

"  Something  ought  certainly  to  be  done,"  he 
agreed.  And  went  off  with  his  newspaper. 

Carolyn  Stokes  mentioned — not  for  the  first 
time — that  she  was  old  enough  to  be  my  mother, 
and  went  on  to  argue  that  whereas  it  was  quite 
permissible  for  a  woman  of  her  age  to  speak 
at  an  hotel  to  a  stranger,  the  case  was  entirely 
different  where  a  girl  of  twenty  was  concerned. 
All  the  same  when  she  found  him  seated  at 
the  next  table  in  the  dining-room  she  allowed 
me  to  take  the  chair  which  enabled  me  to 
speak  across  to  him  without  twisting  my 
neck.  From  what  I  heard  him  say  to  the 
waiter  I  gained  that  her  ladyship  was  taking 
the  meal  in  her  own  room. 

Carolyn  Stokes  has  many  estimable  qualities, 
but  I  have  more  than  once  had  to  point  out 
to  her  that  she  does  not  exercise  a  sufficient 
amount  of  restraint  over  her  conversational 
powers.  Also  she  pitches  her  voice  somewhat 
high,  rather  as  though  she,  being  at  Liverpool, 
were  addressing  a  public  meeting  in  New 
York.  I  am  myself  a  good  and  fluent  talker, 
but  my  chances  are  small  if  I  enter  into 
competition  with  Carolyn.  It  was  difficult, 
however,  to  overlook  the  fact  that  he  preferred 
listening  to  me,  and  when  we  both  spoke  at 


152  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS 

once  it  was  I  who  secured  his  attention.  I 
asked  him  what  there  was  to  be  seen  in  Florence 
of  an  evening  when  the  picture  galleries  were 
closed,  and  he  said  we  could  not  do  better 
than  stroll  down  the  Lung  'Arno,  see  the 
Vecchio  bridge,  returning  by  way  of  the  Piazza 
Vittore  Emmanuele. 

"  We  should  scarcely  dare  to  go  out  alone," 
I  remarked. 

He  crumbled  his  bread  for  a  moment. 

"  I  think/'  he  said,  "  it  will  be  possible  for 
me  to  place  myself  at  your  disposal." 

"  That  is  perfectly  sweet  of  you,"  cried 
Carolyn  Stokes.  We  arranged  to  meet  at  nine 
o'clock  in  the  entrance  hall. 

Taking  our  coffee  in  the  drawing-room 
Carolyn  and  myself  came  to  the  conclusion 
that  there  was  more  in  the  wisdom  of  Provi- 
dence than  some  people  care  to  admit.  If 
Mr.  Chasemore  had  decided  to  come  on  with 
us  to  Florence  the  likelihood  was  that  we 
should  have  had  no  opportunity  of  making  this 
very  fortunate  and  delightful  acquaintance ; 
there  would  have  been  less  to  record  in  our 
diaries  under  the  heading  of  that  day.  Caro- 
lyn's impression  was  that  the  son  of  a  titled 
lady  was  a  viscount,  but  she  could  not  be 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  153 

certain ;  she  had  on  some  far-distant  occasion 
studied  the  matter  thoroughly,  but  most  of 
the  information  then  acquired  seemed  to  have 
been  erased  from  her  mind.  Anyway  the 
chance  was  too  good  to  lose,  and  Carolyn 
Stokes  said  the  great  thing  was  to  exhibit  not 
too  much  eagerness,  but  to  allow  friendship 
to  ripen,  so  to  speak,  in  the  course  of  the  next 
twenty-four  hours.  Carolyn  has  a  distinct 
streak  of  sentimentality  in  her  character,  and 
she  spoke  of  the  influence  of  blue  Italian  skies 
and  the  moon  shining  on  the  water,  and  Dante 
and  Beatrice,  and  the  new  hat  I  had  purchased 
in  the  Via  Condotti  at  Rome.  We  went 
upstairs  to  put  on  some  wraps. 

In  the  passage  her  ladyship's  head  was  out 
of  her  door,  and  she  was  calling  in  an  impera- 
tive kind  of  way. 

"  Norman,  Norman  !  Where  on  earth  has 
he  got  to  again  ?  Never  here  somehow  when 
he's  wanted."  One  of  the  hotel  maids  came 
along  and  she  gave  her  a  message.  '  The  lad 
really/'  she  said,  taking  her  head  in,  "  is 
perfectly  useless." 

Carolyn  Stokes  was  occupying  a  few  minutes 
later  a  central  position  at  the  mirror  in  our 
room  when  she  suddenly  gave  a  shriek ;  I 


154  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS 

assumed  it  was  only  the  presence  of  a  moth 
in  the  room.  As  she  did  not  shriek  again  I 
considered  the  hideous  danger  was  past  and 
done  with,  and  I  requested  her  to  permit  me 
to  share  the  mirror  for  a  moment. 

"  Child/'  she  announced  in  a  subdued  sort 
of  voice  and  still  gazing  into  the  glass,  "  I 
have  seen  it  all  in  a  flash.  You  are  under  the 
impression  that  he  is  some  sort  of  a  nobleman. 
He  is  nothing  of  the  kind.  He  is  merely  a 
footman  or  a  courier,  paid  a  moderate  amount 
per  week  to  attend  on  this  Lady  Somebody. 
That's  what  he  is,"  she  said,  striking  the 
dressing  table,  "  and  I  am  more  thankful  than 
I  can  express  that  I  have  discovered  it  in 
time." 

''  The  question  can  be  easily  decided,"  I 
mentioned.  '  We  have  only  to  glance  in  the 
book  kept  at  the  desk  below." 

"  I  did  that,  but  they  have  not  yet  regis- 
tered." 

"  Then  a  question  must  be  put  to  the  people 
of  the  hotel." 

"  That  I  also  did,"  replied  Carolyn  Stokes, 
"  and  their  acquaintance  with  the  American 
language  made  them  assume  that  I  required 
a  postcard  with  a  view  of  the  cathedral. 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  155 

They  have  no  right,"  she  went  on  vehemently, 
"  in  these  foreign  hotels  to  allow  a  footman 
to  dine  with  the  other  guests.  I  know  it  is 
done,  but  no  one  will  persuade  me  that  it  is 
right  or  fair  to  respectable  visitors.  It  ought 
to  be  stopped." 

I  sat  on  the  rocking  chair  and  took  some 
violent  exercise  for  a  few  minutes  in  order 
to  collect  my  thoughts.  It  seemed  we  were 
in  a  somewhat  difficult  corner.  To  stay  in 
our  room  only  meant  that  he  would  come  and 
knock  at  the  door  ;  the  wisest  plan  appeared 
to  be  to  effect  an  escape.  Carolyn  Stokes,  for 
once,  agreed  with  me. 

"  I  wish  Mr.  Chasemore  were  here,"  she  said. 

We  went  along  the  corridor  very  quietly 
and  crept  down  the  staircase.  From  the  last 
landing  we  could  see  him  waiting  near  the 
desk  of  the  concierge.  There  was  no  means 
of  slipping  past  without  being  seen. 

"  I  tell  you  what  to  do  !  "  I  whispered. 
"  You  must  go  and  inform  him  that  I  have 
been  taken  suddenly  ill." 

"  A  good  idea,"  she  said,  "  but  I  would  so 
much  rather  you  went  and  told  him  that  I 
was  ill." 

He    tapped    with    his    walking-stick    im- 


156  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS 

patiently  on  the  floor,  moved  to  examine 
letters  in  the  rack.  I  pulled  at  Carolyn 
Stokes's  arm  in  order  to  persuade  her  to  make 
a  run  for  it ;  before  I  could  arouse  her  dormant 
intelligence  he  had  returned  to  his  former 
position.  He  glanced  at  the  clock  and  at  his 
watch  ;  Carolyn  Stokes  sat  on  the  stairs. 

"  Meanwhile,"  I  grumbled,  "  we  are  missing 
valuable  moments  in  a  most  interesting  and 
historical  city." 

"  Think,"  she  said  impressively,  "  think  of 
the  fate  from  which  I  have  saved  you." 

The  call  of  "  Norman !  "  came  again,  but 
apparently  it  did  not  reach  his  ears.  I  am 
a  creature  of  impulse  and,  without  thinking,  I 
imitated  the  call.  He  whipped  off  his  cap  at 
once,  laid  down  his  walking-stick  and  started 
up,  taking  two  steps  at  a  time  and  coming 
near  to  us. 

Carolyn  Stokes  and  myself  will  never  be  able 
to  decide  which  of  us  took  the  initiative,  which 
gripped  at  the  other  and  used  some  amount  of 
force.  We  discovered  ourselves  in  the  nearest 
room,  where  an  elderly  gentleman  was  about 
to  retire  to  rest ;  I  had  never  thought  the 
time  would  come  when  I  should  be  thankful 
for  not  understanding  a  foreign  language. 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  15T 

The  young  man  rushed  by ;  we  made  our 
escape  just  as  the  aged  person  was  about  to 
throw  a  hair  brush. 

We  tried  to  persuade  ourselves,  in  walking 
along  the  side  of  the  river,  that  all  was  well 
that  ended  well.  Carolyn  Stokes  said  the 
experience  was  one  she  wished  never  to  under- 
go again,  and  for  some  reason  reproached  me. 
We  walked  as  far  as  the  Trinity  Bridge,  turned 
to  the.  left,  found  ourselves  in  the  Via  del 
Moro,  came  later  to  the  Piazza  de  St.  Maria 
Novello,  took  what  we  thought  would  be  a 
short  cut  for  the  hotel,  and  lost  ourselves. 
Carolyn  Stokes  asked  the  way  of  two  or  three 
people  in  tones  quite  loud  enough  to  enable 
them  to  understand,  but  success  did  not 
crown  her  efforts. 

"  Why,  here  you  are ! "  cried  an  English 
voice.  We  turned,  and  for  the  moment  we 
both  forgot  how  anxious  we  had  been  not  to 
meet  him.  "  Now,  how  in  the  world  did  I 
manage  to  miss  you  ?  My  fault,  I'm  sure." 

"  It  would  be  kind  of  you,"  said  Carolyn 
Stokes  with  reserve,  "  to  put  us  in  the  right 
direction  for  our  hotel." 

"  But,  of  course,  I'll  see  you  back  there 
with  the  greatest  pleasure.  Unless  you  like 


158  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS 

to  allow  me,  even  now,  to  show  you  round  the 
town.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  hotel  is  just 
round  the  corner.  There's  the  Garibaldi 
statue." 

"  I  am  somewhat  fatigued,"  she  said,  "  and 
I  would  prefer  to  return." 

"  And  you  ?  "  he  said,  turning  to  me. 

r*  There  has  been  a  mistake  made,"  I 
answered  resolutely.  '  We  took  you  for 
somebody  else.  You  must  allow  us  to  close 
the  acquaintance  here  and  now." 

"  No  idea  I  had  a  double,"  he  remarked. 
:<  This  matter  must  be  looked  into  or  com- 
plications may  ensue." 

*  We  jumped  to  the  conclusion  that  you 
were  the  son  of  the  lady  you  are  travelling 
with." 

"  I  am,"  he  answered.  Carolyn  Stokes  and 
I  began  to  talk  together  ;  he  appeared  to  do 
his  best  to  understand  us,  but  presently  gave 
up  the  attempt  and  led  the  way  to  the  hotel. 
There  in  the  entrance  hall  he  spoke  again. 

"  So  it  was  because  I  showed  some  attention 
to  my  dear  mother  that  you  thought  I  was  a 
courier." 

We  interrupted,  and  endeavoured  once 
more  to  explain. 


FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  159 

"  I'm  sorry,"  he  said.  "  Had  an  idea  this 
was  going  to  be  quite  a  pleasant  friendship. 
Goodbye." 

I  kept  awake  half  that  night  making  my 
plans.  But  in  the  morning  fresh  English 
visitors — more  titles — had  arrived,  and  some 
of  them  knew  him,  and  they  surrounded  him, 
and  the  girls  made  a  fuss  of  him,  and  there 
was  no  chance  of  my  getting  near.  A  letter 
came  for  me  from  Venice  saying  that  the  writer 
would  be  in  Milan  on  Wednesday.  '  Yours 
with  affectionate  regards,  P.  A.  C." 

I  have  now  to  rely  upon  my  tact  and  my 
industry  and  my  own  bright,  intelligent  young 
mind  to  assist  me  in  marrying  Mr.  Peter  A. 
Chasemore. 


BEFOKE  LUNCH 

OTHER  travellers  were  becoming  jammed  in 
the  corridor  of  the  train,  their  tempers  taking 
the  tone  of  acerbity  easy  to  those  about  to 
start  on  a  railway  journey.  A  determined 
young  woman  came  up  the  step,  and  supported 
the  conductor  in  an  appeal  for  order,  address- 
ing herself  more  particularly  to  the  English 
passengers  ;  quiet  obtained,  she  took  the  first 
advantage  of  it  by  presenting  her  ticket.  The 
conductor  showed  gratitude  by  escorting  her 
at  once  to  her  place. 

'  You  don't  mean  to  say "  stammered 

the  occupant  of  seat  Number  Twenty.  "  It 
can't  be  !  I  shall  begin  to  think  Fm  losing 
my  senses." 

"  If  you're  Mr.  Chiswell,"  she  replied 
briskly,  "  there's  no  reason  to  be  afraid  of 
that." 

160 


BEFORE  LUNCH  161 

"  A  remark,"  protested  Mr.  Chiswell,  "  so 
unkind  that  I  can  tell  it  comes  from  nobody 
but  Miss  Everitt."  She  lifted  her  bag  to  the 
rack,  and  when  she  had  succeeded  in  placing 
it  there,  he  made  a  gesture  of  assistance. 
Glancing  at  herself  in  the  mirror  below  the 
rack,  she  remarked  that  she  looked  a  perfect 
bird  f right ener. 

"  I  don't  agree  with  you/'  he  said. 

"  So  far  as  I  remember,"  she  said,  "  you 
seldom  did." 

'  We  won't  exaggerate,"  urged  Mr.  Chiswell. 
"  For  my  part,  I'm  very  glad  that  we're  to  be 
fellow  travellers,  and  I  trust  we  shall  have  a 
pleasant  journey.  It's  clear  enough  to  me, 
Miss  Everitt,  that  fate  has  brought  us  to- 
gether again." 

"  Then  I  wish  to  goodness  fate  would  mind 
its  own  business." 

The  last  passenger  came  into  the  saloon  ; 
the  conductor's  forehead  cleared  of  wrinkles, 
and  he  hung  up  his  brown  peaked  cap  with  a 
sigh  of  relief.  The  train  moved  out  from  the 
Gare  de  Lyon  in  a  casual  way,  as  though  it 
were  going  for  a  short  stroll,  and  giving  no 
indication  that  it  intended  to  occupy  the  day 
by  racing  down  the  map  of  France.  Folk 
11 


162  BEFORE  LUNCH 

on  the  low  platform  of  the  station  waved  hand- 
kerchiefs, blew  kisses,  cried. 

"  Is  Freddy  with  you  ?  "  asked  Miss  Everitt. 

"  Need  you  ask  !     Is  Emily  with  you  ?  ' 

"  Course  she  is." 

"  Neither  of  'em  married  ?  ' 

"  Neither  of  them  married/'  agreed  Miss 
Everitt.  "  Just  as  well  perhaps.  There  are 
people  who,  so  long  as  they  remain  single,  can 
keep  up  a  certain  style  and  position  ;  once 
they  get  spliced,  first  thing  they  do  is  to  cut 
down  expenses/' 

"  Exactly  the  view  I  took  of  it,"  he  cried 
eagerly.  He  leaned  forward,  and  gave  a 
glance  around  the  saloon  to  make  certain  that 
no  one  listened.  "  Just  the  way  I  looked  at 
the  matter.  Between  ourselves,  it  was  be- 
cause of  that  I  acted  as  I  did." 

The  attendant  from  the  dining-car  came 
to  inquire  whether  the  passengers  wished  to 
lunch  in  the  first  series,  or  in  the  second 
series  ;  the  two,  after  consultation,  settled  to 
take  the  meal  together  at  the  later  hour.  They 
found  new  grounds  for  agreement  in  the  view 
that  coffee  and  rolls  at  half-past  seven  in  the 
morning,  at  a  Paris  hotel,  formed  but  a  mere 
imitation  of  a  breakfast. 


BEFORE  LUNCH  163 

'  I  know  perfectly  well  that  what  I'm  going 
to  tell  you/'  said  Chiswell  confidentially, 
"won't  go  any  further.  I  recollect  how  in 
the  old  days  when  we  were— well,  friends — 
you  always  knew  when  to  keep  your  mouth 
shut.  A  great  quality,  that,  in  a  girl,  and  I 
don't  want  to  flatter  you  when  I  say  that  one 
very  seldom  comes  across  it.  What  I'm 
about  to  tell  you  refers  to " 

He  jerked  his  head,  and  she  nodded. 

'  They  might  meet,"  she  said. 

"  It  wouldn't  matter,"  he  replied  con- 
fidently. :<  They're  not  on  speaking  terms 
now." 

"  Fire  away  with  what  you  were  going  to 
tell  me." 

"  As  a  Member  of  Parliament,"  began  Mr. 
Chiswell,  "  Freddy  was  not  what  the  world 
might  call  a  roaring  success.  Used  to  take 
a  lot  of  trouble,  and  the  Duke,  his  old  father, 
was  always  getting  at  him,  and  asking  when 
he  was  going  to  be  asked  to  join  the  Cabinet. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  his  speeches  sounded  all 
right  when  he  said  'em  off  to  me  in  Curzon 
Street,  but  apparently  when  he  tried  'em  in 
the  House  they  didn't  go  for  nuts.  I  never 
went  down  there  to  hear  him — got  too  much 


164  BEFOBE  LUNCH 

respect  for  myself  to  go  near  the  place — but 
I  always  read  the  Parliamentary  reports,  and 
there,  when  he  did  get  the  chance  of  speaking, 
the  papers  mentioned  his  name  amongst  the 
'  Also  spokes/  and  that  was  about  all.  What- 
ever faults  he  may  have  had  as  a  Member  of 
Parliament,  he  was,  and  he  is,  a  first-class 
chap  to  valet,  and  I  don't  care " — Mr. 
Chiswell  gave  a  resolute  gesture — "I  don't 
care  where  the  next  comes  from.  I've  only 
to  say  one  word  against  a  suit  of  clothes,  and 
that  suit  of  clothes  is  virtually  handed  over 
to  me  on  the  spot.  I  know  to  a  penny  what 
his  income  is,  and  I  know  to  a  penny  what  his 
expenses  amount  to.  A  peculiar  chap,  mind 
you,  in  some  ways  ;  never  able,  for  instance, 
to  bear  the  idea  of  being  in  debt.  Most  ex- 
traordinary, with  people  of  his  class." 

Chiswell  dismissed  this  problem. 

"  Now  you  must  understand — you  know  me 
well  enough  to  realise  it — that  I'm  not  one  of 
those  who  want  to  be  always  chopping  and 
changing.  If  I'm  in  a  nice  comfortable  easy- 
chair  like  this,  I'm  not  the  kind  of  chap  to 
give  it  up,  and  go  and  sit  out  there  in  the 
corridor  on  a  tip-up  wooden  seat.  I'm  the 
sort  that " 


BEFORE  LUNCH  165 

'*  Leave  off  bragging  as  soon  as  you're 
tired,"  suggested  Miss  Everitt,  "  and  get  on 
with  your  story/3 

The  young  man,  an  elbow  resting  on  the 
ledge  of  the  window,  and  giving  no  attention 
to  the  scenery  which  flew  past,  with  a  straight 
road  curling  up  like  a  length  of  white  ribbon, 
applied  himself  to  the  task  of  describing  the 
course  of  procedure  adopted.  The  girl  gave 
now  and  again  a  cough  of  criticism,  here  and 
there  a  slightly  astonished  lift  of  the  eyebrows. 
Occasionally  she  sniffed  at  a  bottle  of  Eau  de 
Cologne  with  the  air — obviously  copied  from 
some  superior  model — the  air  of  having 
temporarily  lost  interest  in  the  subject. 
Stated  with  a  brevity  that  Chiswell,  the 
day  before  him  and  personal  exultation  be- 
hind, could  not  be  induced  to  show,  the 
particulars  might  be  fairly  stated  thus. 
Chiswell 

"  Mind  you,"  he  said  firmly,  "  no  one  can 
call  me  a  Paul  Pryer.  I  look  after  myself ; 
I  don't  profess  to  look  after  others." 

— Chiswell  happened,  by  chance,  to  come 
across  a  note  addressed  to  his  master  which, 
so  far  as  he  could  judge,  had  no  reference  to 
his  master's  Parliamentary  duties,  or  to  any 


166  BEFORE  LUNCH 

scheme  for  improvement  of  the  masses;  he 
founded  his  opinion  on  the  fact  that  it  com- 
menced "  My  dearest."  Chiswell,  a  man 
of  the  world,  would  have  been  prepared  to 
exercise  tolerance  and  to  pass  it  by  with  a 
wink,  but  for  the  fact  that  the  communica- 
tion was  dated  from  an  exclusive  ladies'  club ; 
the  fact  that  the  writer  adopted  a  pen  name 
baffled  him  and  aroused  his  curiosity.  He 
left  the  letter  on  the  table,  and  concealed 
inquisitiveness  until  he  should  be  entrusted 
with  letters  for  the  post.  Looking  through 
the  bundle  handed  to  him  at  four  o'clock  he 
felt  pained  and  grieved  to  find  that  his  master 
had  not  trusted  him  fully  and  entirely  ;  the 
envelopes  were  addressed  either  to  Esquires 
or  to  ladies  known  to  the  world  as  seriously 
interested  in  the  work  of  the  party.  He 
particularly  asked  whether  there  were  any 
other  communications  to  be  placed  in  the 
pillar  box  for  despatch,  and  his  master,  on 
the  point  of  running  off  to  the  House,  distinctly 
and  formally  answered : 

"  No,  Chiswell.    That's  the  lot.    Don't  for- 
get to  post  them." 

"  Quite  sure,  sir  ?  " 

The  reply  to  this  polite  and  deferential 


BEFORE  LUNCH  167 

question  came  in  the  form  of  a  request,  first 
that  Chiswell  should  not  be  a  fool,  second  that 
if  he  could  not  help  being  a  fool,  he  would  at 
any  rate  take  steps  to  hide  and  to  mask  the 
circumstance.  Chiswell  was  affected  by  these 
remarks  as  a  duck  is  concerned  by  water 
running  over  its  back  ;  what  did  perturb 
him  was  the  want  of  confidence  shown  between 
master  and  man  after  an  acquaintance  that 
had  lasted  for  years.  Chiswell,  pondering 
on  this,  was  placing  the  letters  singly  in  the 
pillar  box  and  giving  to  each  a  final  examina- 
tion when  he  discovered  that  one,  addressed 

"  I  know !  "  said  Miss  Everitt,  much  in- 
terested. 

— Bore  a  special  sign  on  the  flap  of  the  en- 
velope. Mr.  Chiswell,  scarce  hoping  that  he 
had  struck  the  trail,  retained  this  and  kept 
it  back  for  further  consideration. 

The  custom  of  placing  scarlet  wax  on  the 
flap  of  an  envelope  and  impressing  the  wax 
with  a  seal  is  probably  an  old-fashioned 
tradition  dating  from  the  days  when  gum 
could  not  be  trusted.  In  the  case  of  an 
envelope  fastened  in  the  ordinary  way,  Chis- 
well would  have  had  to  take  the  trouble  of 


168  BEFORE  LUNCH 

placing  a  kettle  on  the  gas  stove  ;  in  the 
present  instance  his  work  was  rendered  easy 
by  the  help  of  a  penknife  and,  later,  the  use 
of  a  stick  of  wax  and  the  seal.  The  matter 
appeared  to  be  serious.  A  passing  flirtation 
Chiswell  might  have  permitted,  although  that 
he  would  have  held  undignified  in  a  Member  of 
the  House  of  Commons,  but  within  the  few 
lines  of  the  letter  before  him  there  seemed 
a  plain  hint  of  marriage.  He  was  about  to 
tear  up  the  letter  in  the  hope  of  thus  giving 
a  start  to  a  misunderstanding  when  it  suddenly 
occurred  to  him 

"  An  inspiration/'  said  Chiswell  con- 
tentedly. "  That's  what  you  may  call  it." 

— It  suddenly  occurred  to  him  that  the 
insertion  of  two  words  in  the  brief  note,  just 
two  words  in  a  space  that  seemed  to  have  been 
left  temptingly  for  them,  would  entirely  alter 
the  meaning :  changing  it  from  a  hurried 
message  of  affection  into  a  hasty  intimation 
of  dislike.  "  Do  not "  were  the  two  words, 
and  Chiswell  took  the  pen  and  wrote  them 
as  quickly  as  he  now,  in  the  Cote  d'Azur 
express,  spoke  them. 

'  You're  not  blaming  me,"  urged  Mr. 
Chiswell  apprehensively. 


BEFORE  LUNCH  169 

"  Go  on,"  she  ordered. 

Little  else  to  go  on  about.    The  letter,  re- 
sealed,  went  to  its  destination  ;    the  General 
Election    came,    and    that    meant   a    quick 
departure  for  the  country.    Freddy,  greatly 
worried  with  one  matter  and  another,  seemed, 
so  far  as  his  valet  could  judge,  to  enter  upon 
the  contest  in  anything  but  a  whole-hearted 
fashion ;    Chiswell  managed  to  intercept  and 
cancel  a  telegram  sent  to  the  same  young 
party,  urgently  begging  her  to  come  and  help. 
The  meetings  were  noisy,  and  the  candidate, 
who  but  a  few  years  before  made  retorts 
which  became  classical,  and  delivered  speeches 
the  reports  of  which  had  to  be  decorated  by 
reporters  with  "  Loud  laughter  "  and  "  Long 
and  continued  cheering/'  gave  no  signs  of 
alertness,   falling   back  on  dreary  statistics 
which  he  himself  could  not  understand,  and 
his  audiences  declined  to  accept.    Now  that 
it  was  all  over,  they  were  on  their  way  to 
Nice,  where  Chiswell  hoped  to  meet  no  one 
but  other  defeated  candidates  and  attendants 
who,  it  might  be  hoped,  would,  in  their  own 
interests,  abstain   from   the   vulgar  chaff  to 
which  he  and  his  master  had  been  subjected 
in  town. 


170  BEFORE  LUNCH 

"  But  what  I  want  to  point  out  to  you,  my 
dear — beg  pardon — what  I  want  to  say  is  that 
I  managed  to  stop  him  from  entering  upon 
marriage,  and  in  doing  so,  I  reckon  I  did  a 
good  turn  for  myself,  and  that  I  did  a  good 
turn  for  you." 

"  She  was  very  much  worried  and  upset." 

Chiswell  stretched  himself  luxuriously. 

"  It  don't  do  to  share  other  people's 
anxieties,"  he  said.  "  Great  thing  in  this 
world  is  to  keep  trouble  off  your  own  shoul- 
ders. Do  that,  and  you  may  reckon  you've 
done  pretty  well.  How  have  you  been  getting 
along  since — since " 

"  Since  you  dropped  me  ?  '' 

"  Mutual  consent,"  he  argued,  rather  un- 
easily, "  mutual  consent."  Both  looked  out 
of  the  window  for  a  time.  "  By  the  by,  do 
you  ever  see  anything  of  that  chap  Miller  ? 
You  don't  remember  him  perhaps  ;  he  was 
in  Grosvenor  Gardens  when  last  I  heard  of 
him." 

"I  believe  he's  there  still,"  she  answered, 
examining  the  tips  of  her  boots. 

"When  did  you " 

"  Oh,  don't  bother  me ! "  cried  Miss  Everitt 
sharply.  "  You're  always  wanting  to  know 


BEFORE  LUNCH  171 

everything  about  everybody.  A  nuisance, 
that's  what  you  are." 

"I've  got  no  grievance  against  Miller/' 
contended  Chiswell.  "You're  doing  me  an 
injustice.  Me  and  Miller  are  good  friends 
enough.  Last  time  I  met  him  he  gave  me 
some  information,  and  we  parted  on  what  I 
may  call  the  most  amicable  terms.  I  shouldn't 
at  all  mind/'  he  went  on  generously,  "  I 
shouldn't  object  in  the  least  to  running  across 
poor  Miller  again." 

*  You  needn't  call  him  '  poor/  ' 

"  I'm  not  using  the  term,"  said  Mr.  Chiswell, 
"  in  a  monetary  sense." 

"  The  monetary  sense,  as  you  call  it,  is 
about  the  only  one  you  possess." 

Noting  that  she  tapped  the  side  of  her  easy- 
chair  and  that  her  head  trembled,  he  decided 
to  say  nothing  more  on  the  subject,  reverting 
instead  to  the  matter  already  discussed.  In 
going  over  some  of  the  circumstances  he  found 
excuse  for  increased  content ;  the  swiftness 
of  his  action,  and  the  general  dexterity  he  had 
displayed  made  his  eyes  grow  round  and  bulgy. 
The  dining-car  attendant  came  through  to 
announce  that  the  first  series  for  lunch  was 
ready,  and  Chiswell  said  he  would  smoke  one 


172  BEFORE  LUNCH 

cigarette  and  then  go  along  and  see  whether 
his  services  were  required  by  Freddy.  Miss 
Everitt  rose,  remarking  that  it  would  be  well, 
perhaps,  for  her  to  ascertain,  at  once,  whether 
she  could  be  of  any  use  to  Emily. 

They  returned  to  their  chairs  in  less  than 
five  minutes :  one  perturbed,  the  other  calm. 

"Well,  of  all  the "  he  spluttered. 

'  What  I  mean  to  say  is,  what  in  the  world 
is  going  to  happen  next,  I  wonder  ?  '' 

''  That's  more  than  either  of  us  can  tell," 
remarked  Miss  Everitt  composedly.  '  What 
I  know  is  that  I  do  want  my  lunch.  Sight  of 
food  in  the  dining-car  has  made  me  feel 
hungry." 

"  The  two  of  them !  The  two  of  them 
sitting  there  at  a  small  table  opposite  each 
other  !  " 

"  I  caught  sight  through  the  glass  door  of 
the  bill  of  fare,"  said  Miss  Everitt.  "The 
name  of  the  fish  I  couldn't  quite  make  out, 
but  there  were  cotes  de  bceuf  rotis,  and 
poularde,  and  haricots  verts ' 

''  They  were  sharing  a  bottle  of  Chablis 
together.  And  he — he'd  placed  his  hand  on 
the  top  of  her  hand.  Did  you  notice  ?  'J 

"  Wonder  whether  they'll  give  us  an  ice  ?  '' 


BEFORE  LUNCH  17* 

Chiswell  found  a  handkerchief  and  rubbed 
his  forehead. 

"  All  very  well  for  you  to  sit  there  and  talk 
about  food  ;  how  do  you  know  that  now 
they've  met  and  made  it  up,  that  she  won't 
get  rid  of  you  in  the  same  way  that  he's  jolly 
well  certain  to  manage  without  me  ?  " 

"  It  doesn't  matter,"  she  replied,  with  calm.. 
"  I've  saved  !  " 

"The  amount  you've  saved,  my  girl,"  he 
declared,  "  will  last  you  for  just  about  five 
weeks." 

'  What  do  you  know  about  how  much  I've 
put  by  ?  "  she  demanded. 

"  I  can  tell  you  the  sum  to  within  a  pound. 
I  can  write  it  down  now,  if  you'll  lend  me  a 
lead  pencil." 

He  scribbled  some  figures  on  the  margin  of 
his  newspaper,  and  handed  it  across  to  her. 

"  Guess  again  !  "  she  said. 

"It  isn't  a  question  of  guessing,"  he  said.. 
"  I  happen  to  know.    Unless  you've  made  a 
considerable  sum  within  the  last  three  months,, 
that's  the  exact  amount." 

"  You  really  believed,  then,  what  Mr.  Miller 
told  you  ?  " 

The  conductor  came,  and  returned  to  each 


174  BEFORE  LUNCH 

the  green  cardboard  covers  enclosing'  their 
tickets.  Under  the  impression  that  Chiswell 
was  still  a  blade,  a  chum,  a  jovial  companion, 
the  conductor  aimed  at  him  a  cheerful  blow 
on  the  shoulder,  and  the  train  giving  at  this 
moment  a  lurch,  the  action  took  something  of 
a  more  aggressive  nature.  Chiswell  blazed 
up,  trying  to  disengage  himself  from  his  coat. 
Other  passengers  in  the  saloon  looked  around 
interestedly ;  Miss  Everitt  interposed  and 
ordered  Chiswell  to  behave  himself,  to  re- 
member that  he  was  in  the  presence  of  ladies. 
The  conductor  apologised  and  went  on ;  the 
French  passengers  remarked  to  each  other 
that  the  English  formed  an  excitable  nation. 

"  Pardon  me,"  said  Chiswell  to  his  com- 
panion, "  but  I  should  like  to  know  your 
facts.  I  should  be  very  glad  indeed  if  you'll 
kindly  place  me  in  possession  of  the  true 
•circumstances.  To  put  it  plainly — here's  your 
pencil — how  much  have  you  actually  got  in 
the  bank  on  deposit,  or  on  current  account  at 
the  present  moment  ?  That's  all  I  want  to 
know." 

She  struck  out  his  figures  and  wrote  under- 
neath. Leaning  over  he  gave  a  whistle  of 
.astonishment. 


BEFORE  LUNCH  175 

"  My  dear,"  he  said  deferentially.  "  There's 
been  a  misunderstanding,  due  to  the  inter- 
ference of  outsiders.  It's  not  too  late  to 
put  it  all  smooth  and  right  again,  but  at 
the  same  time  I'm  bound  to  say  such  conduct 
is  altogether  inexcusable.  When  I  come  across 
Miller,  I  shall  tell  him  so  to  his  face.  Who 
asked  him  to  come  to  me,  and  give  me  wrong 
information,  I  should  like  to  know  ?  'J 

"  I  did  !  "  she  remarked.  "  But  I've  just 
made  up  for  it  by  giving  correct  information 
on  another  subject  to  my  young  mistress." 

Chiswell  threw  himself  back  in  his  chair, 
and  gazed  severely  at  the  roof  of  the  saloon 
carriage. 

"  All  I  can  say  is,"  he  declared,  "  it's 
absolutely  ruined  my  lunch." 


XI 
COUNTER   ATTRACTIONS 

HALF  the  time  I  don't  trouble  to  look  up  at 
them,  especially  when  I  happen  to  be  busy. 
They  put  their  money  underneath  the  brass 
wire ;  they  ask  for  what  they  want ;  it's 
given  to  them,  and  off  they  go.  If  any  other 
plan  was  adopted  we  should  never  get  through 
the  work  at  our  office,  and  there  would  be 
complaints  to  answer,  and  the  superintendent 
might  send  some  one  along  to  kick  up  a  row. 
As  Miss  Maitland  says,  when  all  the  customers 
are  made  on  one  pattern  everything  will  be 
much  easier  to  manage  ;  meanwhile  we  can't 
do  better  than  to  do  the  best  we  can,  and  to 
recognise  that  some  are  in  a  hurry,  some  are 
just  the  reverse. 

"Above  all,"  mentioned  Miss  Maitland, 
when  I  first  came  here,  "no  carrying  on 
across  the  counter  with  young  gentlemen." 

176 


COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS        177 

'  When  you've  known  me  longer,  Miss 
Maitland,"  I  said,  "  you'll  see  how  unnecessary 
it  is  to  make  a  remark  like  that." 

"  I'm  only  warning  you  for  your  own  good." 

"  I  can  behave  myself,"  I  said,  "  as  well 
as  most  girls.  The  fact  that  I'm  a  bit  above 
the  average  in  regard  to  looks 

"  Is  that  really  a  fact  ?  "  inquired  Miss 
Maitland. 

The  very  queer  thing  about  it  all  was  that 
he  came  in  on  the  afternoon  of  the  very  second 
day  I  was  there.  I  was  having  an  argument 
about  a  halfpenny  with  a  lady  sending  a  tele- 
gram, and  she  said  that  she  always  under- 
stood we  were  well  paid,  and  if  that  was  true 
we  ought  not  to  try  to  make  anything  extra. 
I  kept  my  temper,  but  I  daresay  I  managed 
to  say  what  I  wanted  to  say — I  generally  do 
— and  eventually  she  took  the  telegram  back 
and  decided  to  take  a  cab  to  Charing  Cross 
and  send  it  from  there. 

"  Shilling'sworth  of  your  best  stamps,"  he 
requested  ;  "I  want  them  to  match  my  neck- 
tie." 

"  Pennies  or  halfpennies  ?  "  I  asked.    You 
can  understand  I  wasn't  in  the  mood  for  non- 
sense just  then. 
12 


178        COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS 

"  Which  are  most  fashionable  just  now, 
miss  ?  I  don't  want  to  look  odd  or  con- 
spicuous." 

"  You'll  do  that  in  any  case.  Kindly  say 
what  you  want." 

"  Perhaps  I'll  try  sixpennyworth  of  each," 
he  said. 

I  tore  them  off  and  pushed  them  under- 
neath the  trellis. 

"  Are  these  absolutely  fresh  ?  I  may  not 
be  cooking  them  at  once,  you  see.  They'll  be 
all  right,  I  suppose,  if  I  keep  them  on  ice  ?  ' 

"  You  may  as  well  put  your  head  there  at 
the  same  time,"  I  said. 

The  other  girls  on  my  side  of  the  counter 
looked  around,  and  Miss  Maitland  gave  a 
cough. 

"  Heavens  !  "  he  said,  putting  on  a  deep 
voice,  "  how  I  adore  the  fair  creature !  Ere 
yonder  sun  sinks  to  its  rest  she  must,  she 
shall,  be  mine." 

I  glanced  up  at  him,  prepared  to  give  him 
such  a  haughty  look,  but  I  found  he  was  a 
good-tempered-looking  young  fellow  with  his 
straw  hat  tipped  to  the  back  of  his  head,  and 
somehow  I  couldn't  manage  my  cold  stare 
quite  so  well  as  usual.  Two  or  three  people 


entered  through  the  swing  doors  at  that 
moment  and  came  straight  to  my  part  of 
the  counter. 

"  Very  well  then,"  he  said  loudly,  "  that's 
arranged.  Outside  the  British  Museum  Tube 
Station  half-past  eight  to-night.  Mind,  I 
shan't  wait  more  than  ten  minutes." 

The  fuss  Miss  Maitland  made  just  because 
I'd  answered  him  back !  I  had  a  good  mind 
to  say  something  about  old  maids,  but  I 
stopped  it  just  in  time  ;  instead  I  thought  it 
the  best  plan  to  say  he  was  a  great  friend 
of  my  brother's  and  that  he  was  one  of  those 
peculiar  young  gentlemen  who  had  the  im- 
pression that  he  ought  to  keep  up  his  reputa- 
tion for  being  comic. 

"  If  he  comes  in  again,"  said  Miss  Maitland, 
"  call  me,  and  I'll  show  you  how  to  deal  with 
him." 

The  next  day  at  about  the  same  time  I 
noticed  out  of  the  corner  of  my  eye  his  lordship 
at  the  doors.  He  came  in  and  I  knew  he  was 
looking  for  me ;  to  please  Miss  Maitland  I  went 
along  to  deal  with  some  registered  letters; 
she  left  her  stool  and  took  my  place.  "  Now," 
I  said  to  myself,  "  now  he'll  get  his  head  bitten 
off."  I  was  engaged  with  work  for  about  five 


180        COUNTEK  ATTRACTIONS 

minutes,  and  to  my  surprise,  when  I  had 
finished,  there  was  Miss  Maitland  chatting 
away  with  him  as  amiably  as  possible.  "  I 
like  to  go  somewhere  fresh  every  year/'  she 
was  saying.  :f  That's  why  I  went  to  Winder- 
mere  last  summer."  He  said,  "  Not  in  July 
by  any  chance  ?  "  and  she  said,  "  Yes,  the 
middle  of  July/'  It  appeared  he  had  been 
there  at  that  date  ;  not  exactly  Windermere 
but  at  Bowness,  and  he  remarked — talking  to 
her  in  a  very  different  way  from  the  one  he  had 
adopted  with  me — that  it  would  have  greatly 
improved  his  holiday  if  he  had  been  so  fortu- 
nate as  to  meet  her.  Maity  gave  a  sort  of 
smile  and  was  about  to  make  some  further 
remark  when  he  took  out  his  watch,  lifted  his 
straw  hat,  hurried  away. 

"  Really,"  she  said  to  me,  still  flushed  with 
the  conversation  and  looking  quite  young, 
"  really  a  very  well-spoken  gentleman.  De- 
pends a  good  deal  on  how  we  approach  them. 
If  they  think  we  want  silly  talk,  why  naturally 
enough  they  give  it.  In  a  general  way,"  con- 
cluded Maity,  as  though  she  possessed  a  wide 
and  considerable  experience, "  in  a  general  way 
men  treat  us  as  we  deserve  to  be  treated." 

He  came  in  again  that  afternoon  to  use  the 


COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS        181 

telephone  ;  the  box  was  occupied  and  he  had 
to  wait.  We  were  all  watching  to  see  how  he 
would  behave  this  time  ;  lo  and  behold  if  he 
didn't  take  a  big  book  from  underneath  his  arm 
called  The  Horse  and  Us  Health  and  read  care- 
fully, taking  no  notice  of  any  of  us.  Maity 
looked  disappointed,  and  one  of  the  girls  said 
the  great  drawback  about  men  was  that  they 
were  never  twice  alike. 

That  was  the  evening  I  found  him  waiting 
outside.  It  always  rains  when  I  leave  my 
umbrella  at  home,  and  I  couldn't  very  well 
refuse  his  offer  to  see  me  into  the  motor  omni- 
bus, and  it  was  certainly  kind  of  him  to  suggest 
that  I  should  take  his  gamp.  I  told  him  that 
the  bus  took  me  within  a  minute  and  a  half  of 
mother's  house. 

At  the  time  I  was  in  the  habit  of  telling 
mother  everything,  and  she  decided — not  often 
she  praised  me — that  I  had  behaved  in  a  lady- 
like manner,  and  mentioned  it  would  be  a 
good  thing  if  every  mother  brought  up  chil- 
dren as  she  had  treated  me.  Mother  told  me 
about  one  or  two  half-engagements  that 
occurred  before  she  married  poor  father,  and 
gave  me  one  piece  of  advice  which  she  said  was 
worth  its  weight  in  gold,  namely,  that  the 


182        COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS 

moment  you  saw  a  young  man  getting  fond 
of  you  the  best  plan  was  to  pretend  to  be 
indifferent  and  in  this  way  to  make  him  see 
that  there  was  a  lot  of  hard  work  in  front  of 
him.  Mother  said  this  three  times  to  impress 
it  on  my  memory. 

How  in  the  world  he  found  out  the  name  it 
was  not  easy  to  see,  but,  as  every  one  is  aware, 
people  spare  themselves  no  trouble  when  they 
become  fond  of  anybody.  However  that  may 
be,  the  fact  remains  that  a  letter  came,  signed 
W.  J.  C.,  saying  the  writer  would  be  at  the 
statue  on  a  certain  day  and  at  a  certain  hour, 
and,  just  for  fun,  I  kept  the  appointment. 
Maity  was  very  nice  about  giving  me  leave, 
and  I  waited  there  ten  minutes.  For  a  full 
ten  minutes  nothing  happened,  and  I  had  to 
look  at  the  omnibuses  as  they  stopped  in  order 
to  pretend  I  wanted  to  catch  one  of  them. 
Presently  I  caught  sight  of  him  looking  in  a 
newspaper  shop,  and  taking  his  time  over  it 
too.  I  became  so  mad  that  if  there  had  been 
a  pebble  about  I  think  I  should  have  picked 
it  up  and  thrown  it  at  him.  He  turned,  and 
I  had  to  wave  my  muff  in  order  to  gain  his 
attention. 

"  Hullo,"  he  said,  coming  across.     "  Taking 


COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS        183 

up   express  messenger-boy  work  ?    Where's 
your  parcel  ?  " 

"  I  came  here,"  I  said  coldly,  "  because  I 
was  asked  to  do  so,  and  for  no  other  reason. 
I've  no  desire  to  be  made  to  look  like  an  idiot." 
"  Plenty  of  easier  tasks  than  that,"  he 
mentioned.  "  I  should  reckon  you  were  one 
of  the  most  sensible  girls  going." 

'  People  say  that  about  a  lady  when  they 
can't  think  of  any  other  compliment  to  pay 
her." 

"  Are  you  waiting  for  anybody,  I  wonder  ?  " 
"  I  wish  you  wouldn't  try  to  make  jokes." 
"  My  dear  girl,"  he  cried,  and  he  seemed 
greatly  concerned,  "  please  forgive  me.    And 
now  that  we're  here,  what  shall  we  do  ?  " 
He  looked  around,  glanced  at  his  watch,  and 
sighed.     "  Come   along  and  see  a  bioscope 
show." 

We  caught  a  bus  and  went  to  one  of  the 
swell  places  in  Oxford  Street ;  I  couldn't  help 
feeling  pleased  when  I  noticed  that  he  paid 
eighteenpence  each  for  seats.  You  can  say 
what  you  like,  and  you  can  talk  about  the 
joys  of  being  independent,  but  there's  some- 
thing very  gratifying  in  discovering  for  the 
first  time  that  a  gentleman  is  willing  to  take 


184       COUNTEE  ATTRACTIONS 

your  ticket  for  you.  Of  course  the  place  was 
all  darkened  whilst  the  pictures  were  going  on, 
and  I  thought  perhaps  he  would  try  to  take 
my  hand,  and  I  was  prepared  to  give  him  a 
pretty  sharp  remark  if  he  did  ;  but  nothing 
happened,  and  I  couldn't  make  it  out  at  all. 
It  was  nothing  like  what  I'd  read  in  books  ; 
nothing  like  what  other  girls  had  told  me. 

'  You  seem  a  very  comfortable  set  in  your 
office,"  he  said  when  the  lights  went  up.  "  All 
on  good  terms  with  each  other,  aren't  you  ?  ' 

"  I  suppose  so,"  I  answered.  "  It's  my 
first  experience,  you  see.  What  age  do  you 
think  I  am  ?  " 

11 1  should  say  that  you  are  young  enough 
to  be  pleased  if  I  guessed  you  to  be  older  than 
you  really  are.  Shall  we  say  nineteen  ?  '; 

"  Eighteen  next  birthday,  and  that's  on 
Tuesday  of  next  week."  (There's  nothing 
like  giving  a  hint.) 

'  What  have  you  been  doing  all  these 
eighteen  years  ?  " 

"  Improving  myself,"  I  said. 

'  You  can  give  that  up  now  you  are  perfect." 

The  lights  went  down  again,  and  there  was 
a  set  of  pictures  about  a  girl  who  was  being 
loved  by  two  gentlemen — one  rather  plain 


COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS        185 

with  plenty  of  money  and  the  other  much 
better-looking  but  apparently  only  a  clerk. 
I  thought  over  his  last  remark  and  tried  to 
discover  whether  he  was  still  joking  or  whether 
he  really  meant  it — if  he  did  mean  it  it  was 
a  very  gratifying  thing  to  be  said,  especially 
in  view  of  the  fact  that  mother  is  generally 
finding  fault  with  me.  She  has  often  said 
that  I'm  the  worst  girl  in  the  world  for  leaving 
my  shoes  about  and  not  putting  a  book  away 
when  I  have  done  with  it,  and  all  this  going 
on  day  after  day,  week  after  week,  had  given 
me  a  kind  of  a  lurking  suspicion  that  I  wasn't 
quite  up  to  the  mark.  When  the  pictures 
showed  that  the  plain  man's  money  really 
belonged  to  the  good-looking  chap  he  began 
to  talk  again  and  went  back  once  more  to  the 
subject  of  the  post  office.  I  would  rather  he 
had  spoken  of  something  else ;  I  wanted  to 
forget  Maity  and  the  rest  of  them  for  awhile. 

"  Are  many  of  them  engaged  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Two  of  them  say  they  are,"  I  replied.  "  I 
should  feel  inclined  to  guess  it  was  only  a  half- 
and-half  affair  in  either  case." 

"  Wonder  what  their  names  are  ?  'J  I  told 
him  and  he  seemed  relieved.  "  It's  very 
strange,"  he  went  on,  speaking  in  a  more 


186        COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS 

serious  way  than  usual,  "  how  these  affairs 
happen.  Looks  as  though  some  one  who 
exercises  control  jumbles  all  the  names  into 
two  hats  and  picks  out  one  from  each  at 
random  and  decides  that  they  shall  meet  each 
other  and  fall  in  love." 

"A  good  deal  of  it  is  mere  luck/'  I  agreed. 
"  Mother  met  father  at  a  dance  at  the  Athe- 
naeum up  at  the  end  of  Camden  Road.  Of 
course  a  steward  introduced  them,  but  to  all 
intents  and  purposes  they  were  strangers." 

"  A  man  goes  on,"  he  said,  still  thought- 
fully, "  fighting  pretty  hard  and  not  giving 
much  attention  to  the  other  sex  and  all  at  once 
he  catches  sight  of  a  face,  through,  say,  brass 
trelliswork,  and  instantly  he  decides  '  That's 
the  girl  for  me/  And  he  thinks  of  nothing  else, 
can't  keep  away  from  the  neighbourhood  of 

her,  and "  He  put  his  hands  over  his 

eyes  and  bent  down. 

I  felt  sorry  and  I  felt  pleased  if  you  under- 
stand that ;  sorry  for  him,  pleased  for  myself 
— seemed  as  though  I  had  done  him  an  in- 
justice. It  showed  that  you  could  not  reckon 
any  one  up  correctly  by  their  outside  manner. 
At  the  first  I  had  no  idea  he  was  anything  but 
the  ordinary  chaffing  sort  of  young  gentleman, 


COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS        187 

and  here  he  was  obviously  upset.  All  very 
well  for  mother  to  say  that  you  ought  to  keep 
them  at  arm's  length  when  they  are  fond  of 
you,  but  I  simply  couldn't  help  patting  his 
sleeve  gently. 

"  Thanks  very  much,"  he  said  gratefully. 
'  You're  a  good  little  girl  and  I'm  really 
obliged  to  you." 

There  was  a  funny  set  after  this,  with  a 
short-sighted  old  gentleman  blundering  over 
everything  he  did,  getting  mixed  up  with 
motor  cars,  carried  up  by  a  balloon,  tumbling 
down  the  funnel  of  a  ship,  and  finally  being 
rolled  out  flat  by  a  steam  roller,  and  pulling 
himself  together  and  walking  off. 

"  Always  feel  sorry  for  people  who  have  to 
wear  glasses,"  I  remarked. 

"  It  improves  some  people." 

"  I  don't  agree  with  you.  See  how  peculiar 
our  old  joker  looks  at  the  office." 

He  stared  at  me. 

"Surely  you  don't  mean  that,  Miss  Mait- 
land  ?  "  he  said. 

"Of  course  I  mean  that  Miss  Maitland. 
Who  else  should  I  be  referring  to  ?  " 

He  pressed  the  palm  of  a  hand  against  his 
forehead. 


188        COUNTER  ATTRACTIONS 

"  Let  us  get  this  straight,"  he  urged.  '  We 
seem  to  be  in  a  muddle.  Your  name  is  Halt- 
land,  isn't  it  ? " 

"  My  name  is  Barnes.    Up  to  the  present/' 

"  Then  that  confounded  new  messenger  boy 
took  my  shilling  and  mixed  up  the  information, 
and  " — he  stopped  and  fanned  himself — "  and 
you  received  the  letter  I  intended  for  her." 

"  I  wish  to  goodness,"  I  said  forcibly,  "  that 
some  of  you  men  had  got  a  little  more  common 
sense." 

Mother  says  everything  in  this  world 
happens  for  the  best,  and  in  all  probability 
there's  some  one  else  waiting  for  me  some- 
where. Mother  says  I  have  plenty  of  time 
in  front  of  me ;  mother  herself  was  twenty- 
eight  before  she  married.  Mother  says  there 
is  no  need  for  me  to  feel  nervous  until  I  get 
past  that  age. 


XII 
HERO   OF   HAMMERTON   STREET 

HE  had  been  away  so  long  that  few  people 
remembered  him,  but  his  last  exploit  before 
leaving  ensured  that  in  the  minds  of  those  few 
he  remained  clear  and  definite.  His  wife, 
when  she  set  out  to  meet  him,  was  accompanied 
by  a  Reception  Committee  of  three,  and  as 
they  waited  outside  the  large  building  where 
he  had  been  staying  for  the  last  few  months 
(his  hosts  kept  several  important  establish- 
ments in  various  parts  of  the  country  and  he 
had  spent  part  of  the  time  at  one,  part  at 
others),  as  they  waited,  I  say,  under  the 
avenue  of  trees  well  away  from  the  front  door 
— having,  as  a  point  of  delicacy,  no  desire  to 
be  seen  by  the  servants  about  the  place — they 
speculated  on  the  probable  improvement  in 
his  personal  appearance.  Members  of  the 
Committee  recalled  precedents  where  So-and- 
so  went  away  stout  and  unhealthy  on  a  vaca- 

189 


190  HEEO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET 

tion  of  similar  length,  and  came  back  so  trim 
and  brown  that  his  own  sweetheart  would  not 
have  known  him  had  she  remained  in  the 
neighbourhood. 

"  Here  he  is  ! "  cried  the  wife  suddenly.  "  I 
could  tell  him,  bless  'is  heart,  in  a  thousan  V 

"  That  ain't  him  !  " 

"  He's  got  a  short  beard,  at  any  rate/'  urged 
the  wife,  admitting  her  error  grudgingly  as  the 
visitor  was  claimed  and  marched  off  by  another 
lady. 

"  They  all  'ave.  Try  to  use  your  intelli- 
gence, why  don't  you  !  " 

'  Well,"  said  the  wife,  pointing  her  umbrella 
at  a  sharp-eyed  man,  who,  coming  out  of  the 
large  doorway,  glanced  around  suspiciously, 
"well,  at  least  that's  not  my  Jim."  The 
sharp-eyed  man  came  across  the  open  space 
towards  them,  still  keeping  a  look-out  on  either 
side.  "  He's  mistaking  us  for  his  own  people. 
My  Jim's  a  better-looking  man  than  him." 

"  If  you  say  that  again,  Meria,"  remarked 
the  arriving  man  in  tones  that  could  not  be 

mistaken,  "  I  shall  have  to Now  then, 

now  then  !  I  don't  want  no  kissing  !  'J 

He  was  dressed  in  a  suit  for  which  he  had 
not  been  measured,  and  his  boots  were  scarcely 


HEEO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET  191 

a  precise  fit;  he  shambled  along  with  his  friends, 
responding  gruffly  to  their  polite  inquiries  and 
complaining  bitterly — first,  that  they  should 
have  come  to  meet  him  ;  second,  that  so  many 
friends  were  absent.  Informed  that  some  of 
these  were  no  longer  alive,  he  declined  to 
accept  this  as  a  sufficient  excuse,  describing 
them  as  a  cantankerous  lot,  ever  thoughtless 
where  the  feelings  of  others  were  concerned. 
They  stopped  quite  naturally  at  the  first 
place  of  refreshment,  and  he  criticised  the 
beverage  set  before  him,  declaring  that  had 
he  known  beer  could  be  so  bad,  he  would  not 
have  worried  his  thoughts  so  much  about  it 
during  recent  years.  He  was  equally  dis- 
satisfied with  his  first  pipe  of  tobacco,  which 
he  had  some  trouble  to  light,  and  when  he 
heard  that  his  sister  had  married  a  respectable 
fruiterer,  off  Bethnal  Green  Road,  he  made 
no  attempt  to  conceal  his  annoyance  with  the 
way  the  world  had  been  managed  during  his 
absence. 

"  Once  I  turn  my  back  for  a  moment " 

he  said  disgustedly.    "  Who's  got  the  pub  at 
the  corner  of  our  street  ?  ' 

"  I've  moved,  James,"  explained   his  wife 
apologetically. 


"  Moved  ?     Who  told  you  to  move  ?  " 

"  The  landlord,  dear." 

"  Don't  you  begin  '  dearing  '  of  me/'  he  re- 
torted threateningly.  '"  Why  wasn't  I  asked  ?  " 

"  There  was  no  opportunity,  James/' 

"  Bah  !  "  he  said,  in  the  manner  of  one  who 
can  find  no  other  repartee.  He  turned  to  the 
men.  '  What  'ave  you  three  come  all  the 
way  down  ere'  for  ?  On  the  make,  I  s'pose  ?  ': 

'  We  are  not  on  the  make,"  said  the  leader 
precisely.  "  Recollecting  what  you  was  put 
away  for,  we  have  come  down  'ere  to  offer  you, 
as  something  in  the  nature  of  a  hero,  a  'earty 
welcome  on  your  return  to  what  we  may 
venture  to  term  your  'earth  and  'ome."  James 
relaxed  the  sternness  of  his  demeanour,  and 
took  another  sip  from  his  glass,  this  time 
without  making  a  wry  face.  '  We're  a-going 
to  make  a  fuss  of  you,  old  man." 

"  Don't  go  overdoing  it,"  he  said  grudg- 
ingly. 

They  reached  Hoxton  at  about  noon,  not 
because  the  way  was  long,  but  because  the 
Committee,  possessing  funds,  desired  to  do 
the  thing  well.  A  neighbour  had  taken  charge 
of  the  arrangements  for  dinner,  and  the  three 
men,  arrived  at  the  door  in  Hammerton  Street, 


HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET  193 

mentioned  gracefully  that  the  reunited  pair 
would  in  all  probability  like  to  be  left  alone 
for  a  few  hours,  and  withdrew  ;  first,  however, 
warning  James  that  he  would  be  expected 
at  the  Green  Man  that  evening  at  eight 
o'clock  precisely,  at  which  hour  a  few  select 
friends  would  be  present  to  wish  him  success 
in  his  future  career. 

'  Whad  ye  mean  by  my  future  career  ?  " 
he  demanded.  "  What  are  you  three  a-get- 
ting  at  now  ?  " 

:f  It's  all  right,  old  chap,"  they  answered 
soothingly.  "  Only  a  form  of  speech,  you 
know." 

"  Be  a  bit  more  careful  how  you  pick  your 
words,"  he  retorted  threateningly.  "  I 
'aven't  come  back  to  be  ragged  by  such  as 
you." 

He  was  still  rather  surly  that  evening  when 
he  made  his  appearance  at  the  Green  Man ; 
he  explained  to  one  who  was  formerly  his 
closest  friend  that  he  had  been  enjoying  a  bit  of 
a  talk  with  the  wife  .Surroundings  in  the  club- 
room  were,  however,  so  congenial  that  before 
long  he  showed  guarded  signs  of  amiability, 
albeit  he  found  grounds  for  annoyance  in  the 
fact  that  some  of  his  old  companions  had 
13 


194  HEKO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET 

prospered,  and  had  given  up  what  was  re- 
ferred to  as  the  old  game  to  engage  on  sport 
that,  relatively  speaking,  was  of  an  honest, 
law-abiding  character.  His  best  friend  in- 
deed owned  a  large  gold  chain  and  a  watch  at 
the  end  of  it ;  he  was  now  a  bookmaker  by 
profession,  not,  of  course,  a  literary  person, 
but  one  who  made  money.  On  James  suggest- 
ing they  might  perhaps  go  into  partnership 
together  in  the  racecourse  business,  the  closest 
friend  said,  with  some  reserve,  that  it  was  an 
occupation  requiring  years  of  patient  study, 
and  -the  fact  of  James  having  been  out  of 
the  movement  so  long  barred  him  both  from 
participating  in  the  profits  or  sharing  the 
losses. 

"  See  what  I  mean,  don't  you  ?  "  asked  the 
bookmaker.  "  Chuck  that  what  you're  smok- 
ing away,  and  have  a  real  cigar  !  >: 

"  I  shan't  give  you  another  opportunity," 
said  James  curtly.  "  Should  have  thought 
you  would  have  been  glad  of  a  pretty  sharp 
man  for  your  right  'and." 

"  But  you've  been  rusting,"  pointed  out  the 
bookmaker.  ("  Now  you've  been  and  bitten 
off  the  wrong  end.") 

Nothing,  however,  could  exceed  the  geniality 


HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET   195 

of  the  hosts.  Thick  crusty  sandwiches  rested 
on  the  deal  tables  ;  there  was  no  stint,  so  far 
as  the  guest  of  the  evening  was  concerned, 
in  regard  to  liquids.  Everybody  crowded 
around  him  in  a  flattering  way  and  every- 
body shook  him  by  the  hand  several  times ; 
a  few  promising  younger  men,  who  were 
brought  up  and  introduced,  showed  them- 
selves highly  sensible  of  the  honour,  and  asked 
eagerly  what  adventure  he  thought  of  going 
in  for  next. 

'  'Aven't  quite  made  up  me  mind/'  he  re- 
plied cautiously. 

The  younger  men  winked  knowingly  at  each 
other,  saying  that  James  was  a  deep  one  and 
no  mistake,  adding  that  an  ability  to  keep  one's 
head  shut  was  a  gift  to  be  envied.  They  had 
singing  later.  Songs  were  given  which  for 
James  (who  had  no  musical  tastes)  should  at 
least  have  possessed  the  charm  of  novelty  ;  the 
slang  contained  in  them  and  in  the  public 
speech  of  many  of  those  present  was  to  him 
quite  incomprehensible.  They  repeated  un- 
ceasingly that  they  wished  him  well,  and  the 
bookmaker  made  a  speech  just  before  closing 
time  in  which  he  pointed  out  that  every  man- 
jack  present  was  prepared  to  give  James  a 


196  HEEO  OF  HAMMEKTON  STREET 

helping  hand.  Never  should  it  be  said  of  them 
that  they  had  refused  a  helping  hand  to  one 
of  the  best.  A  helping  hand  was  due  to  such 
a  hero  and  a  helping  hand  he  should  have. 

"  Friends,  one  and  all,"  said  James.  (He 
refused  for  some  minutes  to  make  a  speech, 
but  gave  in  to  encouragement.)  "  Friends, 
one  and  all." 

A  cry  of  "So  you  said  !  "  and  reproving 
shouts  of  "  Order  !  " 

"I've  been  away  from  you  fer  a  few  year 
owin'  to — owin'  to  circs  not  altogether  under 
my  control  "  (the  room  laughed  uproariously), 
"  but  I'm  back  in  the  midst  of  you  once  more, 
and  I  can  tell  you  one  thing,  and  that  ain't 
two,  I'm  jolly  glad  of  it !  I've  had  quite 
enough  penal  to  last  me  my  time.  I'm  full  up 
of  it  !  I've  reached  me  limit  !  It's  no  catch, 
I  tell  you  !  ''  (Murmurs  of  sympathy.)  "  If 
there's  any  one  'ere  that's  acquired  a  taste  for 
it,  they're  welcome  to  my  share.  I  don't 
know  that  I  have  much  more  to  say.  I  'aven't 
had  much  practice  at  public  speaking  of  late. 
Once  you  begin  to  'old  forth  in  there  "  (here 
he  gave  a  vague  jerk  of  the  head),  "  why,  they 
let  you  know  it.  Anyway,  it's  no  use  'arping 
on  the  past,  and  in  regard  to  the  promise  of  a 


HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET   197 

'elping  'and  to  which  you,  Mr.  Chairman,  have 
so  kindly  referred,  and  to  me  being  a  hero, 
there's  only  one  thing  I  want  to  say,  and  that 
is  this :  I  shall  keep  you  to  it !  " 

The   club-room   seemed  to  think  the  last 
sentence  had  an  ungracious  sound,  and  there 
would    have   been   an    inclination  to   hedge 
only  that  the  white-sleeved  potman  arrived  at 
that  moment  with  a  dictatorial  shout  of  "  Now 
you  cheps  !    Time  !  "  and  the  party  had  to 
break  up.     Out  in  the  street,  James's  arm  was 
again  in  request,  and  his  hand  was  shaken  so 
often    with  so  many  assurances  of  admira- 
tion and   enthusiastic   comradeship,  that  he 
went  off  towards  Hammerton  Street  quite 
dazed    and   not  sure   whether   he  had   won 
a  battle,  or  saved  lives  from  drowning.     The 
men  cheered  him  as  he  left  and  began  to 
chant  an  appropriate  song,  but  a  policeman 
came   up,   and   the   crowd,   not   wishful  for 
argument  with  the  force,  said  respectfully, 
"  It's  all  right,  Mr.  Langley,  sir  ;    we're  just 
on  the  move,"  and  disappeared. 

Womenfolk  came  round  to  Hammerton 
Street  the  next  day  asking  to  be  permitted  to 
see  him,  and  James's  wife  would  have  taken 
another  day  off,  but  James  said  there  had 


been  quite  enough  gadding  about  for  her 
already,  and  insisted  she  should  go  to  work. 
He  sunned  himself  at  the  front  door  with  a 
fine  pretence  of  not  knowing  that  he  was 
being  observed,  the  while  women  on  the 
opposite  side  of  the  pavement  held  up  their 
babies  to  see  him  and  whispered  admiring 
comments. 

'  You'd  never  think  it  to  look  at  him,  would 
you,  now  ?  ' 

"  I  recollect  his  case  as  well  as  anything. 
It  was  before  I  was  married  to  my  present 
'usband,  but  I  can  recollect  it  all  just  as  though 
it  was  only  yesterday.  I  remember  so  well 
saying  to  my  young  sister — I  was  on  speaking 
terms  with  her  just  then — I  remember  saying, 
*  Ah,  well !  '  I  said.  Just  like  that !  " 

"  She's  kept  herself  to  herself,  mind  you,  all 
the  time  he's  been  away.  I  will  say  that  for 
her  !  " 

'  Wonder  what  he'll  be  up  to  now.  He's 
turning  something  over  in  his  mind,  I  lay  !  y' 

The  hero  could  not  help  being  pleased  with 
all  this  attention,  and  after  he  had  taken  his 
dinner  at  a  coffee-shop,  where  the  waitress, 
informed  of  his  distinguished  reputation,  stood 
back  and  watched  him  over  an  illustrated 


HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET   199 

paper,  he  put  on  a  collar  and  again  lounged 
at  the  doorway.  The  crowd  was  not  so  great 
now,  and  consisted  for  the  greater  part  of 
children  who  played  tip-cat,  and  gave  no 
notice  to  him  excepting  when  his  presence 
interfered  with  the  game.  Disappointed  with 
his  audience,  James  went  indoors  and,  taking 
off  his  collar,  indulged  hi  the  unaccustomed 
luxury  of  an  afternoon  nap.  When  his  wife 
returned  from  work  it  struck  him  that  she 
was  slightly  more  argumentative  in  manner 
than  she  had  been  on  the  first  day  ;  in  the 
course  of  debate  she  threw  out  a  most 
disconcerting  hint  in  regard  to  a  job  of  work, 
news  of  which  had  come  to  her  ears. 

"  Look  'ere,  my  gel !  "  said  James  definitely. 
"  You  may  as  well  understand  me  fust  as  last. 
A  man  with  so  many  friends  as  Fve  got  won't 
want  to  work  for  many  a  long  day  yet." 

Nevertheless  the  idea  gave  him  perturba- 
tion and  he  went  round  to  the  Green  Man 
to  meet  the  friends  referred  to  and  receive 
from  them  reinforcement  of  his  hopes  and 
views.  There  were  only  two  or  .  three  in 
sight,  and  these  were  outside  the  house  ;  they 
hailed  him  with  a  casual  cry  of,  "  'Ullo,  James  ! 
Your  turn  to  stand  drinks,  ain't  it  ?  "  and 


200  HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET 

having  brought  some  money  out,  the  savings 
of  his  compulsory  retreat,  he  found  himself 
compelled  to  entertain  them. 

"  And  what  you  think  of  doing  now, 
James  «  "  they  asked.  ("  Here's  luck  !  ") 

"Well,"  he  said  slowly,  "I  s'pose 
eventually  I  shall  'ave  to  find,  as  the  missis 
says,  something  or  other.  But  not  yet  for  a 
month  or  two." 

'  You'll  probably  discover  a  chance 
of " 

"  No,"  said  James  with  emphasis.  "  Not 
me  !  No  more  jobs  on  the  cross  for  this 
child.  Risks  are  too  great." 

"  But  you  don't  mean  to  say  that  you're 
going  to  chuck  it  ?  '  The  men  were  so  much 
amazed  that  their  glasses  remained  in  mid-air. 

"  If  you  guess  again,"  said  James  stolidly, 
"  you'll  be  wrong." 

He  looked  about  in  Hoxton  the  rest  of  the 
evening  for  friends,  and  looked  about  in  vain. 
The  next  day  he  called  on  his  closest  friend, 
the  bookmaker  ;  the  bookmaker  was  just  off 
to  Kempton  Park  and  in  peril  of  losing  a 
train  at  Waterloo.  He  had  heard,  it  seemed, 
of  James's  decision,  and  James  could  trace  no 
sign  of  the  generous  friendship  previously  ex- 


HERO  OF  HAMMERTON  STREET  201 

pressed.  To  James's  suggestion  that  he  should 
accompany  the  bookmaker  to  Kempton  Park, 
and  enjoy  a  day  at  the  other's  expense, 
the  reply  came  prompt  and  definite.  '  That 
be  'anged  for  a  tale  !  "  said  the  bookmaker. 

On  the  following  Monday  James  went  to 
ask  about  the  job  of  work  to  which  his  wife  had 
referred  ;  all  his  worst  fears  were  confirmed 
when  he  found  himself  successful  in  obtain- 
ing it. 

"  Drawback  of  being  an  'ero  is,"  said 
James  gloomily,  "  that  it  don't  last  much 
more  than  about  five  minutes." 


XIII 
DAMAGES   FOR   LIBEL 

"  A  RARE  rush  whilst  it  lasts,"  mentioned  Mrs. 
Crowther,  assisting  in  the  task  of  clearing 
tables.  "  My  dear  husband  used  to  reckon 
up  how  much  we  should  be  making  profit  in 
a  year  if,  instead  of  being  from  twelve  to  two, 
it  went  on  from  what  he  called  early  morn 
to  dewy  eve."  She  sighed.  "  Mr.  Crowther 
had  a  lot  of  poetry  in  his  disposition — much 
more  so  than  most  eating-house  keepers  in  Mill- 
wall." 

"  Did  he  make  bits  up  out  of  his  own  'ead  ?  ' 
asked  the  girl  deferentially. 

"  Ethel,"  said  the  proprietress,  nursing  a 
column  of  plates  and  speaking  with  resolution, 
"  you're  new  to  the  place,  and  you're  not  full 
acquainted  with  the  rules.  Understand,  once 
for  all,  please,  that  I  don't  allow  a  word  to  be 
said  against  my  late  husband — nor  whispered." 

302 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          203 

"  Here's  a  stray  customer  coming  in, 
ma'am/'  remarked  the  assistant.  "  Give  me 
that  armful,  and  you  see  to  him." 

A  stout  man,  after  examining  the  day's 
announcement  outside,  entered  and  sat  down 
with  the  relieved  air  common  to  those  who 
have  walked  a  great  distance  and  to  those 
who  find  in  any  form  of  exercise  a  source  of 
trouble  ;  he  took  off  his  hat,  hung  up  his  over- 
coat, and  said,  with  relish,  "  Here  comes  the 
busy  part  of  my  day  !  " 

Mrs.  Crowther  rested  one  palm  on  the  table 
and  gazed  at  the  reversed  notice  on  the 
window :  "  The  Best  of  Everything  and  Every- 
thing of  the  Best,"  giving  him  the  space  to 
make  up  his  mind. 

"  You've  got  a  nice  little  show  here." 

"  Not  bad,  sir,"  she  replied  briefly.  "  What 
can  I  get  for  you  ?  " 

"  Been  all  done  up  recently,  too,  if  I  mis- 
take not.  If  it  hadn't  been  that  I  remem- 
bered it  was  exactly  opposite  the  entrance  to 
the  works  I  shouldn't  have  recognised  it. 
Spent  some  of  the  'appiest  hours  of  my  life, 
I  did,  over  the  way." 

"The  steak  and  kidney  pudding  is  off," 
ghe  said,  glancing  over  his  shoulder.  She 


204  DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL 

took  the  bill  of  fare  from  his  hand  and 
deleted  the  entry,  returning  the  pencil  to  its 
position  in  the  fastening  of  her  blouse.  Frown- 
ing at  the  impetuosity  exhibited,  he  gave  an 
order.  She  left,  and  returned  with  the  liver 
and  bacon  and  a  basket  containing  squares 
of  household  bread. 

"  Any  idea  where  my  old  friend  Crowther 
is  at  the  present  moment  ?  "  he  asked  jovially. 
"  Him  and  me  were  great  chums  in  the  old 
days  that  are  past  and  done  with." 

"  He's  gone." 

"  Where  to  ?  " 

She  pointed  upward  reverently. 

"  That  isn't  exactly  the  place  where  I  should 
have  thought  of  looking  for  him." 

'  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  "  she  de- 
manded sharply. 

"  Oh,  nothing,"  he  said,  beginning  to  eat. 
"  Only  very  few  of  us  in  this  world,  ma'am, 
if  you  don't  mind  putting  yourself  out  of  the 
question,  can  be  looked  upon  as  perfect.  My 
name's  Hards,"  he  went  on,  his  mouth  full. 
"  Hards,  with  an  aitch.  Daresay  you've 
heard  him  mention  me.  I'm  speaking  now 
of — what  shall  I  say  ? — four,  or  it  might 
be  the  early  part  of  five.  We  were  what 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL         205 

they  call  inseparable,  him  and  me,  at  that 
period." 

"  Crowther  gave  up  all  his  former  com- 
panions when  I  married  him/' 

"  He  used  to  complain  that  you  ruled  him 
with  a  rod  of  iron." 

"  I  only  wish,"  she  declared  vehemently, 
"  that  the  dear  man  was  here  to  contradict 
you." 

"  Crowther  was  the  sort  of  chap,"  said  the 
other,  with  deliberation,  "  who'd  contradict 
anything.  Never  better  pleased  than  when 
he  was  arguing  that  black  was  white.  I've 
known  Crowther  say  one  thing  to  a  girl  one 
minute,  and  another  the " 

The  customer  found  his  plate  snatched 
away,  the  remainder  of  his  chunk  of  bread 
swept  to  the  floor. 

"  Go  off  out  of  my  dining-rooms,"  she 
ordered.  "  Don't  you  stay  here  another 
minute,  or  else  I  may  use  language  that 
I  shall  be  sorry  for  afterwards,  and  that 
you'll  be  sorry  for  afterwards.  There's  your 
hat,  hanging  up  just  behind  you.  Now  move, 
sharp  ! '; 

The  sleeves  of  his  overcoat,  owing  to  some 
defect  in  the  lining,  were  difficult  to  manage, 


206          DAMAGES  FOE  LIBEL 

and  this  gave  him  time  to  protest.  He  had 
come,  he  declared,  with  no  other  intention 
than  that  of  giving  patronage  to  an  establish- 
ment which  he  remembered,  with  affection, 
in  the  time  of  Crowther's  mother,  and  to 
enjoy  a  talk  over  the  past ;  if,  in  the  course  of 
conversation,  he  had  over-stepped  the  mark, 
no  one  regretted  it  more  acutely  than  himself. 
A  plain  man,  accustomed  to  speaking  his  mind, 
he  often  found  that  he  gave  offence  where  none 
was  intended. 

"  Jack  Blunt  they  used  to  call  me  over  at 
the  works,"  he  added  penitently.  "  Owing 
to  me  having  the  awk'ard  trick  of  always 
telling  the  truth  !  " 

Mrs.  Crowther  so  far  relented  as  to  call  the 
new  girl ;  she  instructed  her  to  attend  to  the 
customer  the  while  she  herself  retired  to 
the  back  to  wash  up  dishes.  Mr.  Hards  said 
in  a  whisper  to  the  attendant :  "  Don't  seem 
to  have  quite  pulled  it  off,  first  go  !  "  and  Ethel, 
also  in  an  undertone,  replied  :  "  Mustn't  get 
discouraged,  uncle.  Mother  always  says  it's 
your  one  fault.  Unsettle  her  mind  about  him, 
that's  what  you've  got  to  do." 

He  read  a  newspaper  after  the  meal,  and 
sent  to  the  proprietress  a  deferential  inquiry, 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          207 

asking  whether  he  might  be  allowed  to  smoke, 
and  presently  hit  upon  a  device  for  securing 
another  interview. 

'Your  memory  seems  not  quite  what  it 
ought  to  be,"  said  Mrs.  Crowther,  following 
him  to  the  doorway.  "  If  I  were  you  I'd  see 
a  chemist  about  it." 

"I  should  have  recollected  that  I  hadn't 
settled  up,"  he  declared,  "  just  about  as  I  was 
coming  up  from  the  subway  at  Greenwich." 
He  found  corns.  "  No,"  gazing  at  a  shilling 
reverently,  "  mustn't  let  you  have  that  one 
with  the  hole  through  it.  I  was  told  it  would 
bring  me  luck.  Crowther  was  wrong  for  once, 
but  he  meant  well." 

"  Did  that  really  once  belong  to  my  dear 
husband  ?  "  she  asked,  with  eagerness.  "  Oh, 
do  let  me  look.  I'd  give  almost  anything  to 
be  allowed  to  keep  it." 

"  Kindly  accept  it,  ma'am,  as  a  present 
from  me,  and  as  a  kind  of  apology  for  the 
blunder  I  made  just  now." 

"  I  treasure  everything  he  left  behind," 
said  Mrs.  Crowther  tearfully,  "  since  he  went, 
last  December,  and  I  don't  know  in  the  least 
how  to  thank  you.  Drop  in  any  day  you're 
passing  by,  and  let's  have  another  quiet  chat ; 


208          DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL 

I'm  never  'appier  than  when  I'm  talking  about 
him/' 

"  My  time's  practically  my  own,"  answered 
Mr.  Hards.  "  Since  I  retired  from  over  oppo- 
site, owing  to  a  slight  disagreement  years  ago, 
I've  done  a  bit  of  work,  book-canvassing,  but 
that  don't  take  up  the  entire  day.  So 
long  !  " 

A  few  of  the  men  came  into  the  restaurant, 
after  leaving  the  works  ;  these  were  folk  who 
had  no  expectations  of  finding  tea  or  supper 
waiting  at  home,  and  they  would  have  stayed 
on  in  comfort,  gazing  admiringly  at  the  young 
proprietress,  only  that  Mrs.  Crowther  offered 
a  broad  hint  by  instructing  Ethel  to  find 
the  shutters.  They  were  drifting  off,  reluc- 
tantly, and  one  was  saying  to  the  rest  that  he 
would  certainly  make  a  dash  for  it  (implying 
by  this  that  he  would  make  a  proposal  of 
marriage)  if  the  lady  were  not  so  obviously 
devoted  to  a  memory,  when  Mr.  Hards 
appeared  at  the  doorway,  heated  and  ex- 
hausted by  the  effort  to  arrive  before  closing- 
time.  With  him  a  shy-looking  companion, 
who  had  to  be  taken  by  the  arm  because  he 
exhibited  inclination  to  refrain,  at  the  last 
moment,  from  entering.  "  Be  a  sport,"  urged 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          209 

Mr.  Hards.  The  other  intimated  by  his 
manner  that  the  task  was,  for  him,  consider- 
able. 

"  Looking  younger  than  ever,"  declared  Mr. 
Hards  effusively.  "  How  are  you,  ma'am, 
by  this  time  ?  Still  keeping  well  ?  Allow 
me  to  introduce  you  to  my  friend  Ash  ton." 

'  Very  pleased/'  said  Mrs.  Crowther  with 
a  nod.  '  What  will  you  gentlemen  take — 
tea  or  coffee  ?  ''' 

"  Don't  suppose,"  he  remarked  still  in 
complimentary  tones,  "  that  we  shall  be  able 
to  tell  any  difference.  Ashton,  you  decide." 

Ashton,  looking  around,  inquired  whether 
the  place  did  not  possess  a  licence  ;  Mrs. 
Crowther  gave  the  answer,  and  he  said  that 
perhaps  coffee  would  do  him  as  little  harm 
as  anything. 

"  Happened  to  run  across  him,"  explained 
Mr.  Hards,  "  and  mentioned  that  I'd  met 
you  by  chance,  ma'am,  and  he  says  '  Not  the 
widow  of  silly  old  Millwall  Crowther  ?  '  he 
says.  Just  like  that.  Didn't  you,  Ashton  ?  " 

Mrs.  Crowther  turned  abruptly,  and  went 

to  furnish  the  order.     "  Mind  you  say  '  yes  ' 

to  everything,"  ordered  Hards  privately  and 

strenuously,  "  or  else  I'll  make  it  hot  for  you." 

14 


210          DAMAGES  FOE  LIBEL 

The  two  greeted  Mrs.  Crowther  with  frank 
and  open  countenances. 

"  The  late  lamented,"  went  on  Mr.  Hards, 
with  a  confidential  air,  "  as  you  may 
or  may  not  be  aware,  used  to  be  in  the 
'abit  of  paying  attentions  to  my  friend 
Ashton's  sister." 

"  I  know  all  about  that,"  she  remarked 
curtly.  "  It  was  before  he  met  me." 

"  And,  realising  how  anxious  you  was  to 
get  hold  of  everything  that  once  belonged  to 
him,  I  persuaded  him  to  hop  off  home  and 
have  a  search.  And  lo  and  behold,"  pro- 
ducing a  small  paper  parcel  from  the  inside 
pocket  of  his  overcoat,  "  he  found  this." 
Mr.  Hards  untied  the  string  with  deliberation. 
"  There  you  are  !  "  triumphantly.  "  Pearls 
from  the  Poets.  And  inside,  his  handwriting." 

"  Not  sure  that  I  want  anything  that  he 
gave  away  to  another  lady  at  a  time  when 
him  and  me  were  not  acquainted." 

"The  date '11  settle  that,"  said  Hards. 
"  Ashton,  your  eyes  are  younger  than  mine ; 
what  do  you  make  of  it  ?  *' 

Ashton  recited  the  entry  with  an  emphasis 
on  the  date  ;  Mrs.  Crowther  grabbed  at  the 
book,  glanced  at  the  writing,  and  sat  down 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          211 

on  the  nearest  chair,  gazing  steadily  at  a 
ginger- ale  advertisement. 

'  Don't  tell  me/'  begged  Hards  distressedly, 
"  that  I've  put  my  foot  into  it  again.  Ton 
my  word,  if  I  ain't 'the  most  unlucky  chap 
alive.  If  I'd  had  the  leastest  idea  that  I  was 
going  to  be  the  means  of  disclosing  to  you 
the  circumstance  that  Crowther  gave  away 
presents  of  this  kind,  and  with  this  sort  of 
remark,  after  he  was  married  to  you,  why, 
I'd  sooner ' 

She  started  up  with  the  book,  and,  selecting 
the  fly-page,  placed  this  between  her  eyes  and 
the  gas-light. 

"  Some  one's  been  altering  the  date,"  she 
said  quietly.  She  threw  the  volume  across. 
'  You  gentlemen  have  got  just  two  minutes 
and  a  half  before  we  close  for  the  night.  And, 
as  the  business  is  doing  pretty  well,  perhaps 
you  don't  mind  if  I  suggest  you  never  show 
your  faces  inside  here  again."  She  went. 

"  Any  objection  to  me  offering  you  a  word 
of  advice,  old  man  ?  '"'  asked  Ashton,  on 
the  pavement.  '  You're  on  the  wrong 
tack.  When  a  woman's  made  up  her  mind, 
the  best  plan  is  to  agree  with  her.  What 
you  ought  to  do " 


212          DAMAGES  FOE  LIBEL 

"  Keep  quiet/'  ordered  the  other  ex- 
asperatedly.  "  Can't  you  see  I'm  thinking  ?  " 

They  crossed,  and  walked  beside  the  blank 
wall  of  the  works. 

Ashton  was  again  invited,  in  plain  language, 
to  preserve  silence  by  putting  his  head  in  a 
bag.  The  lights  went  out  in  the  restaurant 
opposite  ;  on  the  first  floor  a  match  was 
struck  and  applied  to  the  gas  globes  ;  the 
music  of  a  pianoforte  was  heard. 

"  It's  a  shame,"  declared  Hards,  throwing 
out  his  arms  emphatically,  "  a  right-down 
shame  for  a  nice-looking  young  woman  of  her 
sort  to  be  left  alone  and  neglected.  Here 
she  is,  able  to  cook,  able  to  play,  very  good 
to  look  at,  and  she's  no  business  to  be  left 
by  herself." 

"  Evidently  she  don't  want  to  be  left  with 

you." 

'  You  hop  off  home,"  ordered  Hards, 
"  soon  as  ever  you  like,  and  take  that  book 
with  you,  and  don't  you  ever  attempt  to 
interfere  again  with  matters  you've  got  no 
concern  in.  Otherwise— 

His  friend  hurried  away  without  taking  the 
opportunity  to  hear  the  alternative. 

Mr.  Hards  waited  until  his  niece  came  out 


DAMAGES  FOE  LIBEL          215 

with  a  letter  for  the  post.    A  whistle  brought 
her  to  him  from  the  pillar-box. 

'  Who  was  it  addressed  to  ?  "  he  demanded. 
The  girl  replied  that  she  had  omitted  to  look. 
'  Ton  my  word/'  he  cried,  "  I  seem  to  be 
surrounded  by  lunatics.  Nobody's  got  a 
particle  of  sense,  so  far  as  I  can  ascertain, 
excepting  myself.  No  wonder  I  can't  manage 
matters  as  I  should  like.  But,  putting  all 
that  on  one  side,  what  I  want  now  is  another 
interview  with  her." 

"  Judging  by  what  she  said  after  you  left, 
you're  not  likely  to  get  it." 

"  Look  here,  my  girl.  It  was  your  own 
mother's  suggestion  at  the  start,  and  she  won't 
be  best  pleased  if  you  make  yourself  a  stumb- 
ling-block. She,  for  some  reason,  seems  to 
have  got  tired  of  me  living  in  her  house  at 
Greenwich,  and  it  was  her  idea  I  should  marry 
well,  and  settle  down  somewhere  else.  Apart 
from  which,  I've  arrived  at  a  time  of  life  when 
I  need  a  woman's  care  and  good  feeding,  and 
enough  money  in  my  pocket  to  stand  treat  to 
friends  after  they've  stood  treat  to  me."  He 
spoke  distinctly.  "  I'm  going  to  knock  at 
that  door  over  there  presently,  and  you've 
got  to  let  me  in,  and  you  can  stand  by  and 


214          DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL 

listen  whilst  I  say  a  few  words,  and  put  it  all 
on  a  proper  footing." 

"  But  she  hates  the  very  sight  of  you." 

"  The  sort  of  sensation,"  he  declared, 
"  that  can  soon  be  turned  to  love." 

Mr.  Hards  thought  it  wiser,  on  finding  him- 
self outside  the  door  of  the  restaurant,  to  give 
a  sharp  double  knock.  He  smiled  contentedly 
on  hearing  young  Mrs.  Crowther's  voice  call 
out :  "  It's  all  right,  Ethel.  Only  the  post- 
man. I'll  answer  him  !  "  She  opened  the 
door,  and  faced  him  with  a  look  of  expectancy 
that  at  once  vanished. 

"  Excuse  me,  ma'am,"  he  said,  taking  off 
his  hat,  "  but  I've  been  speaking  my  mind 
to  that  young  fellow,  and  he  asked  me  to  call 
back  and  apologise  on  his  behalf.  I  never 
noticed  what  he'd  been  up  to,  altering  that 
date  ;  it  wanted  a  lady's  sharpness  and  a 
lady's  intelligence  to  detect  that.  What  he 
wants  me  to  say  is  he  acted  on  the  impulse  of 
the  moment." 

"He'd  better  give  up  acting  altogether," 
she  remarked.  "  Did  you  really  know  my 
husband  well,  or  was  it  all  gas  ?  " 

"  Didn't  I  never  tell  you  about  that  affair 
poor  Crowther  and  me  had  with  a  bobby  down 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          215 

near  the  London  Docks  one  night  in  Novem- 
ber ?  A  fine  chap/'  went  on  Hards  remi- 
niscently,  "  if  ever  there  was  one.  The 
way  he  could  put  up  his  dooks  whenever  there 
was  trouble  about !  I  seldom  met  a  fellow 
who  was  his  equal.  He  was  what  I  call  a 
manly  man.  When  they  told  me  he'd  gone 
and  left  you  a  widow  I  cried  like  a  child,  I 
did." 

"  I  was  upset  at  the  tune,"  remarked  Mrs. 
Crowther,  "  but  it  soon  wore  off." 

"It's  often  struck  me, "he  went  on,  surprised, 
"  that  perhaps  you  didn't  appreciate  him 
at  his  true  value  whilst  he  was  alive.  Very 
likely  you  don't  know,  as  I  know,  the  way  he 
used  to  talk  about  you  behind  your  back." 

"  If  it  was  anything  like  the  way  he  talked 
in  front  of  my  face,  I'd  rather  not  hear." 

"  Anyway,  I  daresay,  ma'am,  you  often 
find  yourself  looking  about  for  his  successor  ?  * 

"  To  tell  you  the  truth,  I  do." 

He  tried  to  take  her  hand,  but  failed. 

"  I  can  see  him  now,"  he  remarked  senti- 
mentally. "  We  was  walking  together  in 
Stratford  Broadway,  and  suddenly  he  turned 
to  me  and  he  says,  '  Ernest,'  he  says,  '  some- 
thing seems  to  tell  me  I'm  not  long  for  this 


216          DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL 

world.  I  want  you  to  make  me  a  promise/ 
he  says.  '  If  anything  amiss  happens  to  me, 
I  look  to  you  to  be  a  friend  to  the  wife.  And 
if  so  be/  he  says,  with  a  sort  of  a  kind  of  a 
break  in  his  voice, '  if  so  be  as  you  should  take 
a  fancy  to  her,  and  she  should  take  a  fancy  to 
you,  nothing  would  give  me  more  pleasure 
looking  down  on  you  both/  he  says,  '  than 
to- 

"  Bequeathed  me  to  you,  did  he  ?  ' 

"  It  amounts  to  that,  ma'am/' 

"  All  this  is  news  to  me/'  she  remarked. 
"  About  what  date  was  it  ?  " 

"  About  what  date  ?  "  echoed  Hards,  rubbing 
his  chin.  "  I  can  give  it  you  within  a  very 
little.  It  was  the  night  before  I  met  William 
Humphries,  and  him  and  me  had  a  few  friendly 
words  about  football,  and  I  was  in  the  horspital 
for  three  weeks.  That  was  the  early  part  of 
December.  I  think  it  was  December  you 
said  that  poor  Crowther  drew  his  last  breath. 
Must  have  been  only  a  few  days — three  at  the 
utmost — that  he  had  his  talk  with  me." 

"  That  seems  strange/' 

"  Strange  things  do  occur  in  this  world/' 

"  Because  Crowther  was  laid  up  in  his  last 
illness  for  four  months  inside  this  house,  and 


DAMAGES  FOR  LIBEL          217 

never  went  outside  until  the  undertaker's  man 
carried  him.  And  a  pretty  tidy  nuisance  he 
was,  too,  then,  and,  in  fact,  all  the  time  I 
was  married  to  him.  Is  that  a  constable 
coming  along,  or  a  postman  ?  " 

Hards,  having  ascertained  that  the  ap- 
proaching man  did  not  represent  the  law, 
remained,  searching  his  mind  busily.  The 
postman  stopped,  gave  Mrs.  Crowther  a 
letter  with  a  foreign  postmark,  and  remarked 
that  the  evening  was  fine. 

"  His  ship  will  be  home  here  within  a  fort- 
night," she  cried  excitedly,  glancing  at  the 
first  words  of  the  communication.  '  Twa 
weeks  from  to-day." 

"  Who  ?  " 

"  Nobody  you  know,"  said  Mrs.  Crowther^ 
"  And  then  we  shall  be  married,  and  I  shan't 
have  to  keep  the  men  at  the  works  off  by 
pretending  to  be  so  fond  of  my  first.  It's 
taken  a  bit  of  doing.  Let  me  think,  now. 
You  want  to  see  Ethel,  I  expect,  don't  you  ?  *' 

"  I  don't  want  to  see  no  one,"  he  declared 
with  an  emphatic  gesture,  "  no  one  on  thi& 
side  of  the  river  ever  again,  so  long  as  I  jolly 
well  live !  " 


XIV 
THE   REST   CURE 

"  KNEW  you'd  like  it,  dear,"  said  Mr.  Gleeson 
^confidently.  "  I  declared  the  moment  I  saw 
the  place,  '  Now  this/  I  said  to  myself,  '  this 
will  suit  the  dear  wife  down  to  the  ground/ 
Just  look  at  that  bit  over  there.  (Wait  a 

moment,  driver.)    Isn't  that  simply " 

He  gave  a  gesture  which  meant  that  the 
English  language  provided  no  adequate  words. 
His  wife,  with  one  hand  upon  his  shoulder, 
offered  an  "  Ah  !  "  of  content. 

'  You  must  paint  this/'  he  went  on,  re- 
covering powers  of  speech.  "  You  must  bring 
your  easel  and  your  white  umbrella  some 
morning  when  I'm  busy,  and  try  to  get  this 
effect.  See  the  top  of  the  church  spire 
above  the  trees  ?  " 

'  That  there's  a  oast  house,"  interrupted 
the  driver. 

'  You  will  not  forget  that  I  shall  have  my 

218 


THE  BEST  CURE  219 

duties   in   the   village,"   she   reminded   him. 
'  We  are  going  to  make  life  brighter,  you 
know,  for  everybody." 

"  True  !  "  he  admitted.  "  It  will  require 
discretion." 

"  And  diplomacy." 

"  Still,  we're  not  exactly  amateurs.  We 
bring  something  like  a  ripe  experience  to  the 
task.  This  will  be  child's  play  after  London. 
Think  of  the  difference  in  numbers.  Driver, 
how  many  inhabitants  are  there  in  Murford 
Green  «  " 

"  Can't  say  as  I  ever  counted  'em." 

"  But  speaking  approximately." 
'  Well,"  said  the  driver,  with  deliberation, 
"  speaking  approximately,  I  should  say  they 
was  no  better  than  they  ought  to  be.  And 
you'll  excuse  me,  but  I've  got  to  get  back 
to  meet  the  five-eight,  and  if  you  and  your 
lady  could  give  me  what  you  may  call  per- 
mission to  go  on  now  without  any  more 
pulling  up,  I  shall  jest  do  it.  Otherwise  I 
shan't,  and  then  Miss  Bulwer  won't  let  me 
never  hear  the  last  of  it.  That's  what  she 
won't !  " 

"  Who  is  Miss  Bulwer  ?  " 

"  Look  'ere,"  argued  the  driver,  half  turn- 


220  THE  REST  CURE 

ing  in  his  seat.  "  I've  answered  a  pretty  tidy 
number  of  questions  sence  we  started  from 
the  railway  station,  and  Fm  beginning  to 
lose  my  voice,  and  I'm  not  far  off  from  losing 
my  temper.  But  in  reference  to  your  question 
concerning,  or  regarding,  or  affecting  Miss 
Bulwer,  my  answer  is,  you'll  jolly  soon  find 
out !  Is  that  good  enough  for  you,  or  isn't 
it?" 

"  Merely  a  surface  manner,"  explained  Mr. 

Gleeson,  as  the  open  fly  trundled  on  again. 

'  You  don't  know  these  people,  my  dear.     A 

certain  veneer  of  brusqueness,  but  underneath 

that    good    pure    gold.     Simple   natures,    I 

admit,  but  as  honest  and  straightforward 

Wonder,"  dropping  his  voice,  "  wonder  how 
much  he  expects  for  this  journey  ?  " 

"  Pay  him  well,"  suggested  young  Mrs. 
Gleeson,  also  in  a  whisper.  '  We  must  make 
a  good  impression  at  the  start.  Say  eighteen- 
pence." 

"  Fortunately,"  resuming  ordinary  tones, 
"both  you  and  I  will  be  protected  and 
saved  by  our  keen  sense  of  humour."  He 
smiled.  "  I  expect  our  arrival  will  nutter 
Murford  Green  pretty  considerably.  On  an 
even  surface  the  slightest  ripple  shows." 


THE  REST  CURE  221 

Both  stood  up  in  the  open  carriage  on 
finding  that  the  prophecy  seemed  to  receive 
full  justification.  Twenty  or  thirty  men  and 
Jads  were  rushing  across  the  triangle  of  green, 
shouting  wildly  ;  in  their  hands  they  carried 
stout  hammers  and  long-handled  axes  ;  women 
cheered  from  doorways  of  cottages.  A  few 
were  distracted  temporarily  by  sight  of  the 
station  fly,  but,  reproved  by  the  others,  they 
went  on,  atoning  for  the  slight  delay  by 
shrieking  more  loudly  than  the  rest. 

"  Anything  on,  driver  ?  ' 

"  Something  coming  off/'  answered  the 
man.  "  I  said  what'd  'appen  when  people 
began  to  lock  up  gates  that'd  been  open  for 
generations  and  generations.  I  warned  'em, 
but  they  wouldn't  take  no  notice.  And  I  ain't 
of 'en  wrong,  neither,"  concluded  the  driver. 

"  Don't  be  frightened,  dear,"  urged  Mr. 
Gleeson.  "  I'll  go  out  presently  and  set  it 
to  rights.  One  wise  word  from  an  impartial 
person,  and  it  will  all  be  over." 

The  driver  said  at  the  destination  that, 
times  without  number,  he  had  received  three 
and  six  for  the  service,  paid  willingly  ;  if  the 
gentleman  had  no  more  silver  he  supposed  he 
would  have  to  be  content  with  three  shillings. 


222  THE  REST  CURE 

In  reply  to  contentions,  the  driver  asked 
whether  Mr.  Gleeson  was  aware  of  the  price 
being  asked,  at  the  present  moment,  for  oats, 
and  Mr.  Gleeson  having  to  admit  that  his 
knowledge  on  this  subject  was  incomplete,  the 
driver  retorted,  "  Very  well  then,  what's  the 
use  of  arguing  ?  Why  not  pay  up  and  look 
pleasant  over  it  ?  >:  The  fare  obeyed  the 
first  part  of  this  recommendation.  The  two 
maids  (sent  on  in  advance  from  Kensington) 
stood  inside  the  gate,  and  caught  the  driver's 
farewell  remark. 

"  Really,  ma'am,"  said  the  elder  primly, 
"  the  manners  of  these  people !  I  thought  I 
knew  something  about  language,  but  I've 
learnt  something  the  three  days  we've  been 
down  here.  Had  a  pleasant  journey  ?  Me 
and  Sarah  have  both  been  feeling  humpish. 
I  told  her  it  would  be  all  right  soon  as  ever  you 
and  the  master  came." 

Mr.  Gleeson  set  out,  immediately  after  a 
meal,  to  arrange  the  question  that  was  troub- 
ling Murford  Green.  He  had  changed  into  a 
Norfolk  suit,  and  as  a  further  concession 
smoked  a  briar  pipe;  with  a  thick  walking- 
stick  he  prodded  at  dock-leaves  on  the  green. 
Near  one  corner  of  the  triangle  a  meeting 


THE  REST  CURE  225 

was  being  held,  with  a  large-faced  man  shouting 
excitedly  from  a  Windsor  chair.  Mr.  Gleesonr 
crossing  over,  added  himself  to  the  audience. 
'  Well  spoke,"  sang  the  crowd,  as  the  large 
man  appeared  to  finish.  '  Very  well  putt !  " 

;<  There's  my  shop  'cross  there,"  shouted 
the  orator,  pointing  to  windows  that  had 
"  Crutchley,  Butcher,"  in  marble  letters  over- 
head. "  If  any  one  thinks  I've  broke  the 
law,  that's  where  they  can  serve  a  summons. " 

The  crowd  looked  around  at  the  village 
constable.  The  constable  frowned  with  the 
air  of  a  man  who  had  not  entirely  succeeded 
in  making  up  his  mind. 

*  We've  got  our  rights,"  the  butcher 
went  on,  "  and  I  defy  any  one  to  say  the 
contrairy.  If  there's  anybody  here  who  don't 
agree  with  me,  now's  the  time  for  him  to  step 
up  and  express  his  opinion.  Free  speech  is 
our  motto  and What  name,  please  ?  ': 

"  My  name  is  Gleeson,"  announced  the  new- 
comer, "  and  I  should  like  to  say  a  few  words." 

"  For  the  agitation,  may  I  ask,  or  against  ?  'J 

"  My  attitude,"  said  Mr.  Gleeson,  "  is  that 
of  a  peace-maker." 

The  crowd  grumbled  ;  the  butcher  called 
for  order.  Mr.  Gleeson  ascended  the  chair. 


224  THE  REST  CURE 

When,  at  the  end  of  ten  minutes,  he  stepped 
down,  only  the  constable  was  there  to  give 
him  a  hand.  The  constable  accounted  for 
the  dispersal  of  the  crowd  by  pointing  out 
that  supper  time  was  near,  and  on  Mr.  Gleeson 
asking  whether  he  thought  the  words  spoken 
had  produced  any  effect,  replied,  cautiously, 
that  it  was  difficult  to  say.  The  constable, 
•as  one  who  had  looked  on  at  many  struggles, 
gave  the  opinion  that  you  could  not  do  better 
than  let  the  parties  fight  it  out  and,  this  done, 
then  possibly,  but  not  certainly,  came  the 
moment  for  you  to  interfere.  Mr.  Gleeson 
felt  bound,  in  reply,  to  mention  that  he  had 
in  his  time  been  called  to  the  bar  ;  intimated 
that,  in  circumstances  such  as  these,  it  seemed 
more  fitting  that  he  should  give  advice  than 
take  it. 

"  Now/'  admitted  the  constable,  "  now 
you're  putting  a  different  light,  sir,  on  the 
matter.  To  tell  the  truth,  I  wasn't  quite 
aweer  who  I  was  talking  to.  I  look  on  your 
arrival  here,  sir,  as  particular  fortunate,  be- 
cause you  can  back  me  up  in  any  action  I  see 
fit  to  take." 

"  Any  correct  action." 

''  That's  the  only  way  I've  got  of  doing 


THE  REST  CURE  225 

things.     Fve  never  yet  made  a  blunder,  and 
I  don't  suppose  now  I  ever  shall." 

1  We  are  all  of  us  liable  to  err,"  pointed  out 
Mr.  Gleeson. 

!f  Being  liable  to  do  a  thing/'  retorted  the 
constable  judicially,  "  and  actually  doing  it, 
is  two  entirely  different  matters.  Shall  I  tell 
you,  sir,  what  idea  has  just  come  into  my 
head  ?  " 

Permission  given. 

:c  This  is  the  way  I  get  'old  of  notions," 
went  on  the  other  self -exultantly.  "  I  may 
be  walking  along  a  quiet  lane,  or  standing 
here,  as  I  am  now,  and  all  at  once  they  come 
into  my  noddle  like  a — well,  more  like  a  flash 
of  lightning  than  anything  else.  It's  won'er- 
ful.  Gives  me  quite  a  turn  for  the  moment. 
Guess  what  the  notion  is  that  I've  just 
thought  of." 

The  gentleman  from  London  excused  him- 
self from  making  the  attempt,  and  found  his 
arm  hooked  confidentially  by  the  handle  of 
the  policeman's  stick. 

"I'll  bring  over  to  your  'ouse  this  very 

evening  two  of  the  leaders  of  this  movement, 

or  agitation,  or  whatever  you  like  to  call  it. 

You  take  down  their  evidence  and  to-morrow 

15 


226  THE  BEST  CURE 

you  go  and  call  on  Miss  Bulwer.  She's  the 
lady  who's  been  trying  to  stop  up  this  path. 
You  talk  it  over  with  her,  you  do,  and  settle  it, 
and  then  announce  your  decision.  As  easy/' 
concluded  the  policeman,  detecting  hesitation, 
"  as  easy  as  saying  the  A.B.C." 

Two  days  later  the  constable,  on  receiving 
news  from  Crutchley,  Butcher,  that  the  affair 
had  been  amicably  settled,  was  able  to  state 
that  the  village  could  reckon  itself  once  more 
in  debt  to  him,  and  mentioned  the  case  of  a 
colleague  at  Middlesham  who  had  recently 
been  presented  by  grateful  inhabitants  with 
a  bicycle.  Later  came  information  that 
Miss  Bulwer  had  discharged  her  housemaid, 
with  a  month's  wages  in  lieu  of  notice  ;  the 
driver  of  the  station  fly,  in  the  course  of  a  chat 
with  his  fare,  ascertained  the  cause  for  her  dis- 
missal was  that  Miss  Bulwer  had  understood 
her  (the  housemaid)  to  say,  before  the  Lon- 
doner's call,  that  she  believed  Mr.  Gleeson  was 
a  bachelor,  whereas  the  departing  housemaid 
declared  she  had  only  mentioned  that  he  was 
clean-shaven.  All  the  same  the  decision  of 
the  arbitrator  stood  ;  Miss  Bulwer  was  de- 
clared to  be  the  owner  of  the  right  of  way,  but 
graciously  permitted  the  inhabitants  to  use  it. 


THE  KEST  CUKE  227 

Few  of  the  villagers  had  walked  along  the 
path  before  the  locked  gate  was  placed  there, 
and  no  one  showed  any  anxiety  to  do  so  now 
that  it  was  thrown  open. 

"  A  most  satisfactory  beginning,"  said 
Mr.  Gleeson  to  his  young  wife.  "  Nothing 
could  be  more  auspicious.  Now,  we  are  about 
to  take  up  the  task  of  breaking  down  some 
barriers  on  our  own  account.  Your  help,  dear, 
will  be  specially  needed." 

"  I  haven't  your  tact." 

'  You  have  something  better,  my  love/' 
he  replied  gallantly.  '  You  have  charm. 
Together  we  ought  to  do  a  great  work." 

"  The  place  is  beautifully  quiet  now,"  she 
remarked. 

" '  If  there's  peace  to  be  found  in  the  world," 
quoted  Mr.  Gleeson,  " '  a  heart  that  is  humble 
may  hope  for  it  here/ ' 

"The  girls  are  complaining." 

"  They  will  soon  become  accustomed  to 
the  village  and  its  surroundings.  It  takes 
time  for  a  Londoner  to  settle  down.  The 
silence,"  he  went  on,  going  to  the  window, 
"  is  to  me  most  impressive." 

"  It  appears  to  strike  them  as  being  dull." 

That  evening,  when  the  two  were  consulting 


228  THE  REST  CURE 

the  local  directory,  taking  down  names  and 
perfecting  arrangements,  a  sudden  uproar 
started  near  the  open  windows,  and  the  ser- 
vants came  hurrying  in  to  make  protest 
against  the  noise  ;  Mary  and  Emma  urged 
that  the  master  ought  to  go  out  and  see  what 
was  happening.  Looking  through  the  open 
window  the  group  could  see  that  every 
man,  every  lad,  every  woman  carried  articles 
capable  of  producing  clamour:  some  bore 
dustpans,  some  toy  drums,  some  fire-irons. 
Mr.  Gleeson  felt  able  to  give  an  explanation  to 
the  affrighted  woman.  It  had,  he  believed, 
to  do  with  bees  ;  not  quite  certain  about 
details,  he  felt  sure  it  concerned  bees — 
swarming  or  something  of  the  kind. 

"  I  don't  want  to  be  stung,"  said  cook 
nervously.  *  Wasps  always  make  straight 
for  me  !  >: 

The  crowd  stopped  at  a  house  facing  the 
green,  and  there  the  hullabaloo  increased  to 
such  an  extent  that  Mr.  Gleeson,  finding  his 
cap,  announced  an  intention  of  putting  a  stop 
to  the  row  without  further  delay.  The  women 
expected  the  turmoil  would  cease  directly  he 
reached  the  scene  ;  they  observed  that  he 
spoke  to  one  or  two,  remonstrating  with  them ; 


THE  EEST  CUKE  229 

the  folk  seemed  to  be  making  an  explanation, 
and  he  again  used  argumentative  gestures  ; 
they  appeared  to  order  him  to  go  away  and, 
after  one  or  two  further  efforts,  he  retired. 
The  uproar  continued. 

"Not  bees/'  he  announced,  entering  the 
room.  "  No  !  My  dear,  just  send  the  maids 
to  the  kitchen." 

The  girls  went. 

"  A  primitive  custom,"  he  explained,  "  with 
which  I  was  not  previously  acquainted.  It 
seems  a  retired  farmer  living  at  the  house  in 
question  lost  his  wife  three  months  ago." 

"  Surely  a  strange  way  of  expressing  sym- 
pathy." 

'  That  is  not  exactly  the  idea.  The  retired 
farmer  has  married  again  —  married  the 
nurse,  and  the  village  thinks  it  not  quite 
right." 

"  It  isn't  right,"  she  declared  warmly. 
"I  consider  the  villagers  are  quite  justified 
in  their  action." 

"  I  don't  agree  with  you,  dear." 

"  If  I  died,"  she  contended,  "  and  you 
married  again  in  such  a  short  time,  I  should 
be  very  much  gratified  in  looking  down  to  find 
that  people " 


230  THE  KEST  CUKE 

"  Why  do  you  say  '  down  '  ?  '  The  con- 
tention in  the  Gleesons'  house  rivalled  the 
demonstration  in  the  roadway. 

Mutual  apologies  having  been  made  the 
next  morning 

"  I  spoke  without  thinking  of  what  I  waa 
saying,  my  love/' 

"  I  suppose,  dear,  I  am  too  sensitive/' 

— The  great  task  came  up  before  them  to  be 
tackled.  Mr.  Gleeson  made  a  short  speech  to 
his  wife  on  the  subject,  calling  it  a  scheme  for 
welding  the  village  into  one  harmonious  whole, 
and  they  were  both  gratified  by  this  neat  way 
of  putting  the  case.  One  harmonious  whole, 
echoed  Mrs.  Gleeson.  One  harmonious  whole, 
he  repeated  firmly. 

So  the  two  set  out,  furnished  with  cards, 
to  call  upon  residents  ;  an  undertaking  the 
more  necessary  and  excusable  because  resi- 
dents had  made  no  attempt  to  call  upon  them. 
They  divided  the  task,  arranging  to  meet  two 
hours  later  and  report  progress  of  affairs, 
and  meanwhile  said  farewell  in  an  affectionate 
style  outside  the  house  ;  two  little  girls,  look- 
ing on  with  a  scandalised  air,  prepared  to  run 
off  to  tell  their  respective  mothers. 

"  Good  luck,  dear,"  said  Mrs.  Gleeson. 


THE  REST  CURE  231 

"  Bon  voyage,  ma  cherie,"  he  replied. 
They  kissed  again. 

At  the  time  appointed  she  returned  with 
satisfaction  and  triumph  announced  on  her 
attractive  young  features.  Her  husband  had 
not  arrived,  and  she  strolled  across  to  some 
children  who  were  fixing  wickets  for  a  game  ; 
they  drew  the  stumps  and  retired  to  another 
corner  of  the  green. 

"  Shy  little  things/*  remarked  Mrs.  Gleeson. 

She  flag-signalled  with  a  lace  handkerchief 
to  her  husband,  who  could  be  seen  walking 
slowly  in  the  distance,  but  he  was  gazing  at 
the  dusty  road  in  a  thoughtful  manner  and 
did  not  respond  ;  she  ran  to  meet  him  and  to 
take  his  arm. 

"  Well  ?  "  he  asked  shortly. 

Everybody  had  said  yes,  she  answered  with 
enthusiasm.  No  sooner  had  she  given  the 
invitation  than  they  accepted.  The  vicar, 
the  Congregationalist  minister,  the  auctioneer 
(who  was  also  insurance  agent,  and  local 
representative  for  Chipley's  Celebrated 
Guanos),  the  schoolmaster,  Crutchley,  the 
postman,  two  labourers,  and  the  man  who 
usually  stood  outside  the  Three  Bells  with  a 
wisp  of  straw  between  his  teeth — every  one  of 


232  THE  REST  CURE 

these  and  others  she  had  secured,  every  one 
had  made  careful  note  of  the  date. 

"  And  you  ?  "  she  asked. 

Mr.  Gleeson  confessed  his  record  was  not 
so  excellent.  Miss  Bulwer  delayed  him  for 
thirty-five  minutes,  and,  a  grievance  still 
rankling,  managed  in  that  time  to  intimate 
that  she  bossed  the  village. 

"  Her  own  phrase/*  he  said  excusingly. 

Miss  Bulwer  flattered  herself  she  performed 
the  task  well,  and  certainly  did  not  propose 
to  allow  new-comers  to  interfere.  Miss  Bul- 
wer agreed  that  the  barriers  of  class  should 
be  broken  down ;  she  came  of  a  Liberal  stock, 
and  her  father  sat  in  Parliament  once  for 
nearly  a  year,  but  rather  than  meet  Crutchley 
or  any  of  his  set  on  friendly  terms,  she  would 
willingly  be  burnt  at  the  stake. 

"  But  surely,  dear,  it  was  an  error,  if  you 
don't  mind  my  saying  so,  to  tell  her  that  we 
had  invited  anybody  else/' 

"  Thought  it  fairer/'  he  replied. 

"  I  said  nothing  of  the  kind  to  some  of  mine." 

'  You  should  have  done." 

"  Pardon  me,"  said  Mrs.  Gleeson,  "  but  per- 
haps you  will  admit  that  my  plan  proved  more 
successful." 


THE  BEST  CURE  233 

"  Those  two  sisters,  the  dressmakers,  are 
coming,"  he  went  on,  declining  to  argue  the 
point,  "  and  three  other  women  accepted  and 
promised  to  be  with  us  providing  nothing 
better  turned  up  in  the  meantime.  Singularly 
frank  and  open  in  their  speech/'  he  remarked, 
with  a  sigh.  '''  They  went  so  far  as  to  ask 
me  what  we  expected  to  make  out  of 
it." 

"  I  like  people  to  be  genuine." 
'  There  are  limits,"  he  said,  "  which  should 
not  be  exceeded. .    Let  us  go  in  and  reckon 
up  the  number  of  guests." 

The  two  small  girls  who  had  seen  them  kiss 
each  other  took  up  a  position  near  the  fence, 
watching  with  undisguised  curiosity  as  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Gleeson  sat  at  the  window  com- 
pleting arrangements.  As  these  proceeded 
Mr.  Gleeson  regained  something  of  his  early 
enthusiasm.  He  intended  to  make  a  speech 
to  the  company,  once  the  visitors  were  as- 
sembled, and  his  wife  suggested  that  if  his 
mind  was  made  up  in  this  regard,  he  had 
better  rehearse  ;  he  walked  up  and  down  the 
room,  using  appropriate  gestures,  the  while 
the  two  little  spectators  held  on  to  the 
fence  in  their  anxiety  to  miss  nothing. 


234  THE  REST  CURE 

"  Did  you  remember  to  telegraph  to  the 
Stores  ?  "  he  demanded,  breaking  off. 
"  I  did." 

"  And  have  the  things  arrived  ?  " 
"  Not  yet.     But  they  never  fail." 
"  Find  a  man,"  he  ordered,  "  the  one  out- 
side the  Three  Bells,  and  send  him  off  at  once. 
Unless  I  see  to  everything,  there  is  always  a 
muddle !  " 

Full  justification  for  the  issuing  of  this  com- 
mand was  found  when  the  man  returned  with 
the  case  ;  it  had  duly  arrived  by  the  mid-day 
train  and  would,  he  reported,  have  remained 
at  the  station  until  goodness  knew  when  if 
he  had  not  been  sent  to  fetch  it.  The  man 
offered  to  prise  open  the  lid,  and  on  seeing  the 
contents  made  the  announcement  that  the  two 
shops  of  the  village  would  not  be  best  pleased  to 
hear  that  goods  similar  to  those  which  might 
have  been  purchased  at  their  establishments 
had  been  imported  from  town.  Asked  by  the 
anxious  young  hostess  to  give  his  own  opinion, 
the  man  said  he  was  all  for  liberty  and  free- 
dom, and  letting  people  do  as  they  liked,  but 
he  felt  bound  to  say  that  home  industries 
ought  to  be  patronised.  He  had  often  argued 
this  in  the  Three  Bells,  and  felt  he  ought  not 


THE  REST  CURE  235 

to  say  behind  people's  backs  anything  he  did 
not  dare  to  speak  in  front  of  their  faces. 

"  All  the  same/'  he  added,  accepting  the 
shilling,  "  I  shall  pop  round  in  good  tune  this 
evening.  You  can  rely  upon  me.  My  word's 
as  good  as  me  bond." 

Now  the  two  maids  began  to  fly  to  and  fro. 
Now  Mr.  Gleeson  set  out  chairs  on  the  lawn 
at  the  back  in  preparation  for  an  overflow 
meeting.  Now  furniture  was  moved  and  the 
pianoforte  opened.  Now  one  of  the  maids 
ran  across  to  hire  twenty  cups  and  saucers, 
and  returned  from  the  shop  with  the  message 
that  only  regular  customers  were  obliged  in 
this  way  ;  the  cups  and  saucers  could  be  pur- 
chased, or  they  could  be  let  alone,  but  no  third 
alternative  existed.  Mr.  Gleeson  went  over 
his  speech  once  more  and,  on  the  suggestion 
of  his  wife,  introduced  a  more  pronounced  tone 
of  geniality,  leaving  out  some  of  the  sterner 
views  concerning  the  value  of  friendship. 
Mrs.  Gleeson's  sketches  were  set  in  a  good 
position.  Mr.  Gleeson  tried  "  I  am  a  Jolly 
Mariner/'  and  decided  he  had  found  himself  in 
worse  voice.  At  seven  o'clock  they  were  ready 
for  the  thirty-five  guests,  and  Mr.  Gleeson 
snatched  a  few  moments  to  practise  a  smile 


236  THE  EEST  CURE 

of  welcome,  one  that  would  indicate  gratifica- 
tion without  degenerating  into  a  broad  grin. 

"  We  shall  find  them  rather  difficult  at 
first,"  he  mentioned.  "  I  must  get  you  to 
help  me,  my  dear,  to  make  them  feel  thor- 
oughly at  home  from  the  very  outset.  Wish 
you  had  thought  to  order  some  crackers." 

"  Sorry  !  " 

"  In  Stepney,  if  you  remember,  the  pulling 
of  these  and  the  wearing  of  paper  caps  at  once 
put  everybody  at  their  ease.  What's  the  time 
now  ?  " 

She  exhibited  her  watch. 

"  Mary  asked  the  constable  just  now 
whether  anything  of  the  kind  had  ever  been 
arranged  before  and  he  said  '  No/  ' 

"  Did  he  say  anything  else  ?  "  asked  Mr. 
Gleeson. 

"  He  added  '  And  never  won't  again, 
neither/  " 

"The  ability  of  peering  into  the  future/' 
he  remarked,  nettled,  "  is  a  gift  denied  even  to 
the  village  policeman.  He  seems  to  have  the 
idea  that  no  one  can  do  right  excepting  him- 
self." 

"  There's  a  knock." 

Please,    ma'am     (announced     Mary),    Mr. 


THE  REST  CURE  237 

Crutchley,  the  butcher,  has  sent  over  to  know 
whether  we  want  a  joint  for  Sunday,  because 
if  so  we  had  better  say  so  in  good  time.  Ask 
the  messenger  (replied  Mrs.  Gleeson)  to  tell 
Crutchley  that  we  shall,  only  trouble  him  in 
the  case  of  chops  and  steaks  ;  the  larger  orders 
have  been  placed  in  town.  Very  well,  ma'am. 
Mary,  returning  three  minutes  later,  apologised 
for  the  message  she  had  now  to  deliver ;  Crutch- 
ley  sent  word  that  where  the  Gleesons  pro- 
cured their  joints  there  they  could  procure 
their  chops  and  steaks;  Crutchley  told  the 
messenger  to  add  that  he  was  not  in  the 
habit  of  being  under  an  obligation  to  any 
one. 

"  I  disliked  the  man,"  declared  Mr.  Gleeson 
warmly,  "  from  the  very  first.  Understand, 
my  dear,  please,  that  not  another  penny  of 
mine  is  to  be  spent  in  his  shop — not  another 
halfpenny." 

Another  ring,  and  Mary,  with  a  look  of 
greater  satisfaction,  announced  the  vicar. 

"  Ah,"  said  the  visitor,  entering  breezily, 
"Liberty  Hall,  Liberty  Hall.  This  is  ex- 
tremely satisfactory.  How  are  we  this  even- 
ing ?  Settling  down  to  country  life  ?  That's 
good.  Before  I  forget  it,  there  are  two  or 


238  THE  REST  CURE 

three  funds  under  my  control,  the  finances  of 
which  are  in  rather — what  shall  I  say  ?  " 

"  Low  water." 

"  Capital !  "  declared  the  vicar,  with  en- 
thusiasm. "  The  very  phrase !  Now  I'm  not 
going  to  bother  you,  and  hate  above  all 
things  any  suspicion  of  begging,  but  if  you 

have  your  cheque-book  handy How  very, 

very  kind  of  you !  A  great  day,  for  Murford 
Green — here's  a  fountain  pen — for  Murford 
Green  when  you  two  delightful  people  decided 
to  take  up  your  residence  here.  Thank  you 
so  much  :  I'll  blot  it.  Equally  divided,  shall 
we  say  ?  A  thousand  obligations.  I  have 
a  number  of  letters  to  write  ;  will  you  forgive 
me  if  I  run  off  ?  Pray  give  my  sincere  regards 
to  all  the  dear  people.  All  the  dear  people. 
The  dear  people.  Dear  people.  People." 
The  voice  disappeared  in  the  manner  of  a 
ventriloquist's  entertainment. 

A  note  from  the  schoolmaster.  The  school- 
master was  sorry,  but  he  had  only  just  ascer- 
tained that  the  Rev.  Mr.  Barton,  Congrega- 
tionalist  minister,  had  been  asked,  and  in  these 
circumstances  the  schoolmaster  begged  to  be 
excused.  A  note  from  Mr.  Barton.  Mr. 
Barton,  having  ascertained  that  the  school- 


THE  REST  CURE  239 

master  had  been  invited,  felt  it  impossible  to 
meet  that  gentleman  until  he  had  withdrawn 
certain  remarks  concerning  Passive  Resistors, 
and  hoped  Mrs.  Gleeson  would  permit  him  to 
defer  his  visit.  The  postman  called  at  the 
back  door  to  say  that  he  could  have  spared 
an  hour,  and  would  have  spared  an  hour,  but 
talk  was  going  on  in  the  village,  and  until  this 
received  contradiction  it  was  more  than  his 
position,  as  a  Government  official,  was  worth 
to  set  foot  inside  the  house.  Mary,  answering 
her  master's  impatient  reprimand,  declared 
she  had  asked  for  further  particulars  ;  the 
postman,  with  a  deep  blush,  assured  her  it  was 
not  a  subject  he  could  discuss  with  a  single 
young  woman  ;  on  Mary  insisting,  he  referred 
her  to  a  Mrs.  Larch,  living  in  one  of  a  row  of 
cottages  not  far  away.  The  Gleesons,  greatly 
disturbed,  requested  the  maid  to  fly  in  that 
direction  and  obtain  details.  As  Mary  went 
out  of  the  front  gate  they  noticed  the  two 
invited  labourers,  dressed  in  black  suits. 

"  Beg  pardon,  missy,"  they  heard  one  of 
them  say,  "  but  if  it  ent  a  rude  question,  is 
there  going  to  be  any  beer  purvided  at  this 
affair  what's  to  come  off  this  evening  ? " 
The  maid  gave  an  answer  and  ran  on. 


240  THE  REST  CURE 

"  Not  ?  "  they  echoed  amazedly.  '  Very  well 
then !  No  bloomin'  beer ;  no  bloomin* 
us!" 

Other  excuses  came.  The  odd  man  of  the 
Three  Bells  alone  remained  unaccounted  for, 
and  he  arrived,  pulling  at  the  garden  gate, 
which  he  should  have  pushed,  and  solving  the 
difficulty  by  climbing  over.  Approaching 
the  open  window,  he  lurched  across  the 
flower-bed,  took  off  his  hat  to  Mr.  Gleeson, 
blew  a  clumsy  kiss  to  Mrs.  Gleeson. 

"  Not  coming  in,"  he  said,  with  a  wink. 
"  No  fear  !  Not  me  !  Got  my  reputation  to 
consider.  I  sh'd  never  'old  up  my  'ead  again. 
Warm  lot,  you  Londoners.  Thank  goodness 
I  was  born  'n  bred  in  the  country.  Honest 
man,  that's  what  I  am,  and  I  don't  care  who 
says  I'm  not.  You  never  catch  me  'ugging 
a  girl  in  middle  of  the  roadway.  Not  me  ! '' 

A  council  was  held  so  soon  as  the  maid  came 
back.  Mary  had  assured  Mrs.  Larch  that 
her  master  and  her  mistress  were  married, 
for  she  herself  was  present  at  the  wedding,  and 
the  lady  offered  two  suggestions  :  one  that 
Mary's  eyesight  was  defective,  the  other  that 
people  only  used  a  foreign  language  when 
they  desired  to  say  something  that  could  not 


THE  REST  CURE  241 

be  spoken  in  decent  English.  Mary,  having 
delivered  the  news,  stood  back  and  waited. 

"  Have  you  no  suggestion  to  make,  my 
dear  ?  "  asked  the  worried  Mr.  Gleeson.  His 
wife  shook  her  head  despondently. 

"  Excuse  me,  sir,"  said  the  maid,  with 
respect,  "  but  me  and  Emma  have  been  talking 
it  over,  and  as  she  says  the  doctor  ordered  you 
quiet,  and  you  haven't  yet  succeeded  in  letting 
the  house  at  Kensington,  what's  to  prevent 
us  from " 

"  Get  the  A.B.C.,"  he  ordered.  "  We'll 
find  out  what  time  there's  a  train  back  to 
town  in  the  morning." 


16 


XV 


THE  Committee  gave  Mr.  Mayor  the  time  to 
put  on,  with  the  aid  of  his  man,  the  official 
garments.  One  member  asked  who  was  look- 
ing after  Enderby,  and  the  agitated  young 
secretary  ran  into  the  largest  room  in  the  Town 
Hall,  returned  with  the  satisfactory  assurance 
that  the  man  was  seated  in  the  front  row,  well 
guarded  by  friends. 

'  These  brave  chaps,"  remarked  the  mem- 
ber who  had  put  the  alarming  inquiry,  "  often 
have  a  peculiar  strain  of — er— modesty  in 
their  disposition.  You  can  never  quite  de- 
pend upon  them  as  you  would  on  ordinary 
people.  Mr.  Secretary,  what's  the  programme 
for  the  afternoon  ?  Have  you  drawn  up  an 
agenda  ?  Don't  call  on  me,  if  you  can 
help  it,  but  if  it's  absolutely  necessary,  of 

course ' 

Mr.  Secretary  exhibited  the  sheet  of  foolscap 

242 


REWARD  FOR  COURAGE       243 

paper ;  members  of  the  Committee  whose 
names  figured  there  expressed  approval ;  the 
rest  mentioned  a  fear  that  they  might  not  be 
able  to  stay  until  the  end. 

"  Mr.  Mayor  !  " 

His  Worship  came  forward  to  be  greeted  by 
those  acquainted  with  him,  to  be  introduced 
to  others.  Everybody  said  it  was  good  of 
the  Mayor  to  give  up  so  much  of  his  time,  and 
he  declared  it  was  good  of  them  to  do  so. 

"  But  some  one,"  he  went  on,  with  deter- 
mination, "  some  one  must  give  me  a  sort  of 
a  notion  of  an  idea  of  what  I'm  supposed  to 
talk  about.  I  want  a  few  facts  pencilled 
down,  just  to  go  on  with,  as  it  were."  The 
secretary  produced  a  type-written  document, 
tendered  a  case  containing  a  medal.  "  I 
see  !  "  nodding  as  he  glanced  at  the  sheet. 
"  Jumped  in  at  risk  of  life.  Brought  child  to 
bank.  Persuaded  with  difficulty  to  give  name 
and  address.  Very  fine,  indeed.  Capital. 
First-rate.  Now,  how  long  shall  I  take? 
Thirty  minutes  ?  " 

"Less  than  that,  Mr.  Mayor,  if  you  like." 

"  As  you  please,"  said  his  Worship,  rather 
nettled.  "  I'm  never  a  believer  in  long 
speechifying.  Time  we  made  a  start,  isn't 


it  ?  Look  in,  and  tell  them  I'm  coming,  and 
they'll  be  ready  to  applaud.  What's  the 
chap's  name  again  ?  Enderby.  George  En- 
derby.  Right  you  are !  " 

A  good  audience  had  assembled,  and  several 
ladies,  subscribers  to  the  gift,  were  present. 
Two  were  talking  deferentially  to  a  puffed- 
faced  man  in  the  front  row  ;  they  scuttled 
off  to  their  seats  as  the  platform  people  arrived. 
The  man  inspected  his  boots,  shifting  them 
uneasily.  Mr.  Mayor  rapped  the  table  with 
an  ebony  hammer,  and  said,  in  his  most 
genial  manner,  that  of  all  the  duties  imposed 
upon  him  during  his  year  of  office  not  one 
had  given  so  much  pleasure  as  this.  They 
were  probably  acquainted  with  the  facts  and 
he  would  give  them  briefly.  George  Enderby, 
residing  at  42,  William  Street,  by  occupation 
a  house  decorator,  but  at  present  out  of  work, 
was  walking  near  the  canal  on  the  evening  of 
Friday,  the  seventeenth  of  June.  Some  chil- 
dren were  playing  near  the  bank,  and,  in  the 
endeavour  to  reach  a  piece  of  wood  that  was 
floating  on  the  water,  one  little  girl  of  six 

years  of  age  suddenly  slipped  and .     Mr. 

Mayor  read  the  type-written  sheet  to  the 
end,  took  off  his  pince-nez. 


REWARD  FOR  COURAGE       245 

"  Let  George  Enderby,"  he  ordered,  "  be 
kind  enough  to  step  up  on  the  platform." 

The  friends  of  the  puffed-faced  man  took 
him  by  the  elbows  ;  he  resisted  their  efforts 
and  was  heard  to  say  that  he  would  see  every- 
body hanged  before  he  made  a  public  exhibi- 
tion of  himself.  An  awkward  delay  occurred ; 
the  Mayor  repeated  his  directions.  The  secre- 
tary hurried  down  from  the  platform,  and 
induced  George  Enderby  to  consider  afresh 
his  decision.  He  went  up  the  steps  with 
every  sign  of  reluctance,  and  stood  there, 
turning  cap  in  hands. 

"  Enderby,"  said  the  Mayor,  with  an  air  of 
heavy  benevolence,  "  kindly  answer  one  or  two 
questions.  In  what  condition  of  mind  were  you 
when  you  performed  this  gallant  act  ?  " 

"  I  wasn't  boozed,"  replied  the  man  defen- 
sively, "  if  that's  what  you're  driving  at.  I'd 
had  a  glass  or  two ,  but  I  wasn't  abs'lutely  oiled !" 

'  That  is  not  quite  what  I  mean.  What  I 
want  to  find  out  is,  were  you  thinking  at  the 
time  of  the  value  of  human  life,  and  how  neces- 
sary it  is  that  it  should  be  preserved  at  all  costs  ? " 

"  If  you  must  know,  I  waddent  thinking 
nothing  of  the  kind.  Don't  worry  myself 
about  such  matters." 


246       REWARD  FOR  COURAGE 

"  I  see  !  "  said  the  Mayor,  slightly  taken 
aback.  "  And — forgive  my  curiosity — but 
what  were  your  sensations  when  you  brought 
the  child  ashore  ?  What  was  uppermost,  so 
to  speak,  in  your  thoughts  ?  ' 

"  I  was  wondering  whether  I  sh'd  catch  a 
nasty  cold ! " 

"  No,  no  !  "  said  the  Mayor,  reproving  the 
audience.  '  This  worthy  fellow  is  answering 
my  questions  to  the  best  of  his  ability.  Tell 
me,  now,"  turning  again  to  the  man  on  the 
platform,  "  have  you  performed  many  gallant 
actions  of  this  kind  in  your  life  before  ?  ' 

"  I  ain't." 

"  Never,  perhaps,  had  the  opportunity  ?  '' 

"Plenty  of  opportunities/'  retorted Enderby, 
"but  not  fool  enough  to  take  advantage  of  'em! " 

It  was  so  clear  he  was  becoming  nettled 
that  the  secretary  whispered  to  Mr.  Mayor  ; 
his  Worship  proceeded  to  speak,  at  some 
length,  on  the  subject  of  bravery,  making 
allusions  to  the  boy  who  stood  on  the  burning 
deck,  to  Grace  Darling,  and  to  others.  Even- 
tually, and  to  the  obvious  relief  of  Enderby, 
he  presented  the  purse,  handed  over  the  medal, 
and  allowed  the  man  to  return  to  the  front 
row.  There  Enderby  and  his  friends  made 


REWARD  FOR  COURAGE       247 

no  attempt  to  conceal  restiveness  during  the 
remainder  of  the  speeches.  The  occupants  of 
seats  at  the  reporters'  table  sent  a  note  to 
the  young  secretary,  reminding  him  that  the 
recipient  had  not  acknowledged  the  rewards. 

'  No/'   replied   Enderby,  with   resolution, 

'  I    jolly    well    won't.     Made    myself    quite 

conspicuous  enough  as  it  is,  and  if  I  tried  to 

talk  from  the  platform  I  sh'd  only  make  myself 

more  conspicuouser  than  before.     I  may  also 

add  it's  dry  work  listening  to  all  this  cackle." 

"  Don't  lose  the  medal." 

'  You  take  charge  of  it  for  me,"  he  re- 
quested. "  May  overlook  it  somewhere  if  I 
take  it  with  me  now !  " 

It  was  the  secretary's  first  essay  in  manage- 
ment of  public  affairs  and  he  congratulated 
himself,  in  leaving  the  Town  Hall,  on  the 
fact  that  everything  had  gone  well ;  the 
Mayor  had  said  at  the  end,  "  Very  smooth 
and  satisfactory  !  ''  The  case  with  the  medal 
bulged  the  inside  pocket  of  his  coat,  and  this 
would  not  have  mattered  only  that  he  was 
going,  later,  to  see  a  young  woman  whom  he 
loved,  and  give  to  her  a  full  report.  Where- 
fore he  stepped  on  a  tram-car  and  was  con- 
reyed  to  William  Street. 


"  May  be  back  at  any  moment,"  said  the 
neighbours.  '  What's  to-day  ?  Tuesday  ? 
Well,  she  has  to  be  at  Willesden  by  seven  in 
the  morning,  and  she  usually  gets  home, 
comparatively  speaking,  early.  Other  days 
its  quite  late  before  she Here  she  is  !  " 

Mrs.  Enderby  was  grateful  to  the  secretary 
for  bringing  the  medal,  and  said  so.  She 
wished  he  had  also  brought  the  money  that 
had  been  collected,  but  this,  she  knew,  was 
an  extravagant  aspiration.  Mrs.  Enderby 
admitted  it  was  difficult,  at  times,  to  make 
ends  meet ;  thanks  be,  she  had  fair  health 
and  strength.  Six  children,  all  living,  and 
no  one  could  say  they  ever  wanted  for  food. 
Yes,  it  did  seem  a  pity  Enderby  was  out 
of  a  job,  but,  after  all  (cheerfully),  it  made 
very  little  difference  at  home,  because  if  he 
earnt  money  he  spent  it  all  himself.  How 
long  ?  Oh,  a  matter  of  eleven  years  or  so. 
Good  afternoon,  sir,  and  thank  you. 

"  Now,  I  wonder,"  remarked  the  young 
secretary  to  himself,  "  I  wonder  if  they  were 
right  in  putting  his  name  on  that  medal ! >J 


Printtd  ty  Batell,  Walton  &   Viney,  Ld.,  London  and  Ayleibury. 


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